Characters React
by Gamer95
Summary: Characters from various different anime universes react to various forms of media! Rated M for language in certain chapters
1. Chapter 1

It was early morning on Saturday when the members Team RWBY could be seen in the middle of an intense training session in the forest near Beacon Academy. Ruby and Weiss were exchanging blows with their respective weapons while Yang was trying to land a hit on Blake, who was agilely flipping out of her way and occasionally landed a counter strike. After a few failed attempts, Yang started to become increasingly frustrated.

"Damn it, Blake, stop moving around so much!" The blonde huntress-in-training growled. Blake smirked at her teammate's frustration.

"I'm just fighting the best way I know how." She replied mockingly as she dodged another punch. After several more minutes of this, Yang's frustration reached a boiling point. With a roar, she punched the ground so hard, it created a massive crater. Weiss and Ruby stopped their sparring session and rushed over to where Yang and Blake were fighting.

"Yang, you dunce!" Weiss scolded as she and Ruby made it to the others. "If Blake had been hit by that, you could have seriously hurt her!"

"Uh...Sorry..." Yang said sheepishly, feeling regret for letting her anger get the better of her and almost causing her close friend serious harm. "I just-" Yang stopped when she noticed something sparkly in the crater she made.

"Hey! Look! Buried treasure!" Yang exclaimed.

Ruby looked at her sister in confusion as she slowly walked to the edge of the hole "Uh, sis, what are you-" She paused when she looked into the crater. What she saw in there looked like a corner of something metal.

"Wow! There really is buried treasure in there!" Ruby said excitedly as she leapt into the crater and started to clean the remaining dirt off the chest.

Yang grinned as she jumped down to help her sister with the treasure. Weiss and Blake stood on the edge of the hole curiously and watched the two sisters unbury the chest.

After the chest was completely uncovered, Yang lifted the large chest and made her way towards the top of the hole with Ruby eagerly following behind her. Once on top, Yang placed the chest in-between Weiss and Blake with a resounding thud.

"It's massive..." Blake mused, examining the chest with wide eyes and noting that it was big enough to fit anyone of them in it.

"Open it Yang!" Ruby urged her sister on, jumping up and down like a child on Christmas day after getting a sugar high. For once, Weiss didn't say anything about Ruby's childish behavior.

"This is...actually pretty exciting!" The normally calm and serious Weiss admitted excitedly, wondering what they might find inside it. "Open it quickly!"

Yang chuckled as she knelt down and started fiddling with the lock, examining it before effortlessly pulling it clean off the chest. The tension was high as Yang grabbed the lid, everyone's eyes sparkling in wonderment and excitement.

After Yang lifted the lid, their excitement turned into confusion as they examined what was hidden inside the chest. While they weren't exactly expecting anything extravagant like gold or jewel, they weren't expecting to find what looked like movie discs, really old game consoles, a few hard drives and some papers inside either.

"Huh? This isn't treasure." Ruby mumbled in disappointment.

Blake hummed in thought as she knelt down and picked up a system that had the words 'Nintendo 64' on the front label. "...I don't recognize any of this at all." Blake stated after carefully placing the old gaming system down. "What if...it's a time capsule? From before the Grimm came into existence?" Blake asked theoretically, causing the girls to gasp in shock.

They had heard old tales of the time before the Grimm, when the world was a much simpler time. If Blake was right, and this was a capsule filled with stuff that predated the Grimm then, they had a link to the past.

The girls looked to each other expectedly.

"So...what should we do with this?" Weiss voiced the question on everyone's mind.

"Let's watch the discs!" Ruby said eagerly, picking one up. "C'mon, let's go let's go let's goooo!"

"Wait a minute, what about our training?" Weiss asked, crossing her arms.

"Weiss, don't you see how huge this is?" Blake asked. "We can see what the world watched for entertainment before the Grimm showed up!"

"Yeah Ms. Stick-In-The-Mud, maybe there's a cool action movie in here." Yang stated, examining some of the blank discs.

Weiss's cheeks puffed out in anger at Yang's nickname before she deflated, her arms slumping in defeat. "Fine, but you're going to lug this back to the school Ms. Swing-And-Miss." Weiss taunted Yang, referring to the incident that caused them to find the box in the first place.

Yang scowled at the dig at her fighting abilities and lightly smacked Weiss on the side of her head. Weiss hissed and held the spot that Yang hit with a pout.

"Ow!" Weiss said as she glared at the now smirking Yang.

And so...

"So...which one do you want to watch first?" Yang asked out loud, scratching her head as she examined the picture less CD's.

"Well they don't have any pictures or words that tells us what's on them." Blake stated as she examined a disk in her hand. "So I don't think it really matters what we pick."

Ruby randomly picked one up and held it out. "How about this one?" Ruby asked, hoping that they would saw yes.

The girls look at each other before shrugging, not really sure where to begin anyway.

"Couldn't hurt." Yang said before grabbing the CD from Ruby and headed towards their TV and turned it and the DVD player on. "I really doubt it would be too out of this world." Yang slid the CD into the player and they waited for the CD to start up.

Within moments, a wall of text faded in.

"Game Grumps. Grump and Not-So-Grump play games together and provide live commentary about it, with conversations ranging from sophisticated discussions about the design of the games they're playing to bizarre tangents unrelated to anything happening on-screen with plenty of ridiculous screaming and bromance thrown in, producing frequently hilarious results."

The girls gave each other confused looked before turning back towards the screen as the text was replaced with more text.

"Game Grumps: Mega Man 2 Best moments by Tal Rimoni"

Then suddenly, an orange screen popped up a round head with brown hair appeared from the right of the screen while singing "Hey I'm Grump!" before sliding off the screen. A millisecond later a second head, this one with long dark hair and a five o'clock shadow came up from the left and sang "I'm not so grump!" Then both heads returned and sang "And we're the Game Grumps!" as a logo that said 'Game Grumps' became visible.

This famous Game Grumps intro managed to confuse the quartet even more than they already were.

"What was that?!" Yang blurted out.

"And what are with those creepy heads?" Weiss questioned.

"I don't know, but we should continue to watch the CD." Blake stated, getting a nod from Ruby.

The famous Mega Man 2 title screen pulled up, and two men were singing along to the music. One was making "Dun dun" noises while the other was making what sounded like beeping noises. Then, one of them just burst into laughter.

The moment the video began, they began to understand what this was. "Ooooh, it's one of those gaming shows." Yang realized. The other's nodded in understanding as watched the video cuts to what looked like a water level with a blue background, green walls and floor, little pixilated bubbles, a giant, red mechanical fish, and a blue man in the center.

"This looks nice." Blake commented on the area as the two men from earlier started to laugh

"I mean, like, I love the British people, but they have some unnecessarily adorable names for everything." One of them said as the fish was blown to pieces and the man continued on his quest.

"The loo?" The other man asked, his smile evident in even his voice.

"The loooo!" Danny said, stretching out the word. "The loo!"

Ruby and Yang started to giggle at how they were say 'The Loo'.

Blake cracked a smile while Weiss rolled her eyes at their low par humor.

"They don't seem all that funny to me." Weiss stated firmly.

"I believe a chair is a Mundyfumble?" Dan spoke again. This actually got a laugh out of Ruby, and Weiss rolled her eyes at her partner's antics. Yang, for her part, found something likeable and endearing about these guys. "Okay, I might have made that up." Dan admitted as they destroyed a frog enemy that spawned smaller enemies.

"No, it's a flaxxerjab." Arin 'corrected' Dan, who laughed.

"I enjoy taking a trip to the shwinklebax!" Dan said in a terrible British accent.

Yang snorted while holder her side after hearing Dan's attempts at a British accent. It even managed to get Weiss to smile. Blake stifled her giggling with her hand.

Ruby was rolling around on her bed and fell off the bed. She quickly pulled herself up using their night stand and shakily got back on the bed, still laughing despite being slightly sore.

"You're getting way too into this, Ruby." Weiss said, smiling despite herself.

"Every trip to England is a trip to Dr. Seuss Land in Universal Studios." Arin joked as they left the underwater area and entered a part of the level with a huge waterfall with platforms in front of it and enemies falling from the top of the screen. "C-Could you direct me to the nearest drug store? I need some Tylenol..." He said in an average voice, before immediately breaking into a shout. "What?! You said you need some Ploompklebick?!" Arin said in another terrible accent.

Ruby quickly paused the video while desperately trying to stop laughing.

"M-My sides' h-h-hurts!" Ruby said while laughing hard. At this point, Yang was howling in laughter and was lying on her bed, kicking her legs into the air repeatedly. Blake took a few deep breaths to calm herself while Weiss started to giggle.

"Why is this funny?!" Weiss asked. "It shouldn't be funny, but it's funny! Why?!"

When they managed to compose themselves, they pressed play again, to see another scene change. This time it was a screen containing a series of red blocks, what appeared to be lava, and green spring-like enemies. If the blue particles were anything to go by, it appeared Mega Man had died.

"Wow, that lava is unforgiving." Dan observed.

"Yeah, you don't even take time to melt; it's just so hot you explode." Arin agreed. "The electrons in your body can't fucking take it."

"Do electrons even react that way?" Ruby asked in confusion. The others shrugged their shoulder, not really knowing the answer to that.

"Maybe we can ask a teacher or someone later." Blake suggested.

"Who cares." Yang bluntly, her eyes glued to the screen. "All I know is that these guys are hilarious!"

"It's like the stuff that melted Terminator 2!" Dan pointed out.

"Yeah!" Arin laughed. "But you don't even have time for a thumbs up." They both laughed again.

"I hope that...Uh...Should I ever die from non-natural causes, I hope I have time to give a big thumbs up to people before I go."

"I also hope you have the peace of mind to do that...and not go "AAAAH! OH MY GOD!""

The girls didn't understand what they meant when they made the reference to Terminator 2. But that quickly left their minds when Arin yelled suddenly, causing them to jump in surprise as they traversed the hazardous level and climbed down a ladder.

All four of them laughed at the irony of Dan's statement.

Then, there was another scene change, this time showing Mega Man climbing underground ladders.

"Whoever is a dodo expert, please, in the comments, uh..."

"Like comment and subscribe." Arin interrupted, cracking Dan up. The girls recognized the terms. Must be a show on some kind of video site.

"And also give us some dodo facts." Dan said.

"Give a shout out, tweet, Facebook, MySpace, Instagram, Pinterest... If you don't do any one of those things, we won't acknowledge you."

"Guys, if you don't fuckin' Friendster us soon, we're gonna be REALLY pissed."

"If you don't like my band on MySpace, then f*ck off, dude."

"I think Friendster WAS at the time of dodos." Dan mused jokingly.

"You'd have to be a dodo not to have a Friendster account!"

"Niiice!" Dan complimented. "That was their tagline!" They laughed some more.

Despite not knowing what those social networking websites were, they laughed alongside the grumps.

"Uh, can I just say this is random, but for any fans of Tiny Toons- oh my god..." There was a pink bunny-shaped robot that fired a missile at Mega Man.

"Carrot missile." Arin pointed out.

"Yeah, that is definitely a carrot missile." Dan agreed. "Really, really well animated, too. It's just like-" And then Dan proceeded to make a flatulence-esque noise.

Ruby giggled childishly at the farting noise Dan made.

Weiss groaned and face-palmed. 'They were doing so well too.' Weiss thought to herself, feeling disappointed that they would stoop to such a childish thing for a laugh after getting her to like their comedy.

"What's it coming out of?!" Arin laughed as the rabbit hopped up to get to Mega Man.

"I dunno!"

"He doesn't have a tube or anything!"

"He's like Akira, all of a sudden, just shooting...mental carrots at you." Arin composed himself before saying

"Always in groups of three!"

"Yeah, but he has to stop to shoot them! He's like "Ergh, I gotta think really hard...Mental carrots..." Dan said this last part as though he were straining.

The sight of the rabbit and the carrots shooting at Mega Man made Blake briefly wonder what Velvet would think if she saw this.

She didn't have time to dwell on it, however, as there was another change, to a screen showcasing what appeared to be a stage select screen.

"Who's next for me to die on?" Arin asked.

"Uuuuuuh...Flash Man or Crash Man." Dan replied. "...Do you think they hang out more because they rhyme?" Dan asked as they choose the Flash Man stage, whose stage began in an area which the blocks flashed from blue to light blue.

They didn't know why, but Team RWBY knew that this would lead into something hilarious.

"And they get all pissed when somebody mumbles." Arin added before mumbling one of the names, indistinguishably due to the mumbling. "It's like, what?"

"Do you think they have a third friend named Cash Man who never shows up because he's so f*cking rich?"

"Yeah, you guys f*ckin' fight in your blue world, I'll just stay here in my money pile."

"I was rich enough to have more than 16 colours onscreen."

Ruby, Yang, and Blake chuckled at Cash Man's antics while Weiss narrows her eyes. While she isn't easy to get along with, she doesn't flaunt her money like that.

"Fuckin Cash Man!" Arin exclaimed, role-playing as one of the men. "Let's just hang out with Ash Man! He's been through a lot!" They broke into laugh as they went through the level, shooting at robots that shot them in an arc.

"He WAS friends with Fire Man...Well, you can imagine how THAT turned out." Blake cringed slightly, immediately guessing what could have happened between Ash Man and Fire Man.

"Eh, he's been hanging out with Sash Man a lot, I don't like that guy. He's a beauty contest winner. He's all full of himself."

They laughed at that comment about him being full of himself reminding them of some people that they knew that were like that.

"Ash Man was pretty good until he had that falling out with Fire Man, and then he met Splash Man...and EVERYTHING worked out for him. He really made him who he is now!" Arin said as Mega Man fell down a hole in the platform and landed on another one with a robot on a mechanical, two legged walker.

Despite Ash Man being someone the two grumps made up for the story they were telling, the girls felt glad that Ash Man was doing better.

"And then his life REALLY cleaned up when he met Trash Man, and he cleaned up all his fuckin'..." What he said next was incomprehensible due to him cutting himself off to last. Arin laughed as well. "Did you see what I did there?" Dan asked. "It was super fuckin' not clever at all."

"Did you see what I did there, with Splash Man?" Arin asked as Mega man dropped down into a long drop and landed in a hole in the side, picking up an energy capsule before falling down the chute again.

"You did it! I liked it, and that's why I tried to follow up with a VASTLY inferior one." Dan said.

"I thought it was clever." Ruby said, getting a nod from Yang.

"Yeah, but him cutting himself off was trash, man." Yang said with a chuckle.

Everyone groaned at the pun.

Mega Man landed into an area with a square enemy that was sitting on blue blocks, which they immediately destroyed and jumped down the gap behind the enemy. "They all, like, hang out together, but um...When they go places they're not comfortable with, they invite Brash Man."

"Hey, we have one of those!" Weiss chimed as she, along with Ruby and Blake, looked right at Yang.

Yang looked back at them with a pout. "Hey! I'm not that brash!" Yang argued. Blake gave her a look that said 'Oh really?'

"How about that one time you took us to that bar?" Blake asked, remembering how she dragged them to a bar last weekend.

"We had fun didn't we?" Yang countered, not seeing the issue here.

"You got drunk, made lewd comments to that one guy and wrecked the bar when he refused your advances." Weiss pointedly told her.

Yang sweat dropped and decided not to comment.

They made it to the bottom of the level where another robot on a walker was waiting for them.

"And when they have potatoes they don't know what to do with, they call in Mash Man!" The two then broke into a fit of laughter. Instead of fighting the robot, they ran under it when it jumped, only to be met with another one.

"I'm gonna throw up skittles..." Dan moaned.

Weiss wrinkled her nose in disgust.

Like the last one, they ran past this one as well and jumped on a platform above them, only for a third one to appear. They managed to destroy the walker, leaving the smaller robot defenseless, only for Mega Man to explode is blue pixels when he got too close to it. They respawned in the previous screen.

"And when there really is nothing to do...They're just alone in their house...Somebody's like...Dude, you still got the number of Stash Man?"

"What does that mean?" Ruby innocently asked. The girls looked at each other worriedly.

"I'll explain later." Yang told her younger sister.

Dan and Arin laughed and they laughed HARD.

"I have to go! I'm leaving!" Dan exclaimed, unable to withstand it anymore. The girls heard the sound footsteps walking away and a door opening and closing.

"Don't leave! No!" Arin pleaded, still laughing. A few seconds later, they hear the door opening again and footsteps heading towards the mic.

"DASH MAN!" Dan exclaimed triumphantly. "I got it I don't know how to work it into a joke, but I was completely out of men!" The two guys laughed. "Oh God, dude, my stomach hurts!"

"I'm not surprised, with all that laughing your stomach would hurt." Blake pointed out.

The scene flashed back to the stage selection before the next level started, revealing that the grumps where in an area that had a mechanical wall for a background.

"First of all, I haven't played a lot of these old Nintendo games in a LONG time, and I forgot how tiny the controller is."

"Oh yeah." Arin agreed.

"'Cause...you have tiny hands, the first time you play it, and when you revisit it, later in your life you're like 'Huh. Now I got GIANT fuckin' hands. I've always had, like...Uh...Barry, maybe you could put up a screenshot of my weird... disgusting thumbs." Then a picture of a thumb came up on screen.

The girls jolted by the random picture of a huge thumb, which was apparently Dan's thumb.

"Holy Oum!" Yang exclaimed. "It looks like he took his big toe and put it on his hand!"

The other three silently nodded, their gazes fixed to the picture on screen.

"I've got crazy huge thumbs." Dan continued.

"Oh, yeah you do...Whoa, holy sh*t!" Arin exclaimed. "WHOOOOOOA! Your thumbs are HUGE!"

"I know, they look like toe thumbs! But that's why I, like, was so happy with games when controllers got bigger and they had more buttons, because I could just tap it once with my massive thumb and tuck, roll, duck, aim and fire all at the same time."

Everyone laughed, especially Yang after Dan made the remark about his thumbs looking like a toe.

"It's like the video is reading my mind." Yang remarked.

The scene went back to the start of the level. The team immediately assumed that they most likely died at some point and had to start over.

"Welcome back to the journey of a century." Arin introduced.

"Hello sirs, and madams!" Dan chipped in.

"...There's no madams." Arin said.

"Are there any madams? There's GOTTA be!" Dan said.

"We're here." Blake said to the screen, not really caring that it wouldn't really be able to reply back to her.

"Oh, of course there are." Arin replied matter-of-factly.

"Yeah, and they're beautiful!" Dan agreed.

"Oh, you flirts you." Yang mockingly said, winking suggestively and gave them a grin.

"I love how both of those statements sounded SUPER douchey." Arin said, amusement clear in his tone, dodging massive yellow lines that entered the screen as they proceeded down the level. "GIRLS DON'T WATCH THIS SHOW! Nah, I'm kidding. I'M SURE GIRLS WATCH!" He said in an obnoxious voice.

"OH OUM THAT VOICE!" Ruby exclaimed, laughing loudly while Yang snickered.

"Way to take two positions, and sound bad on both of them!" Dan exclaimed. "I DON'T WANT GIRLS WATCHING THIS SHOW, BUT I DO! ...But I don't." They finally made it down the level and was currently going through a tunnel that became dark every few seconds before the lights came back on.

"I should have just said "I don't like women" and covered both bases." Arin laughed.

They could tell that he wasn't being serious so they didn't bat an eyelash at his comment.

"Nah, that's not true."

"Not true." Arin agreed.

"We LOOOVE the ladieeees." Dan said in a jokingly flirtatious tone.

"I'm sure people know my stance on women by now."

"Yeah, they're hot."

"What IS his stance on women?" Blake asked out loud.

Weiss narrowed her eyes, hoping that Arin wasn't sexist.

Yang shrugged as the scene changed again, this time in a level that had a red brick background, and Mega Man was in midair over what the team assumed was an endless pit.

"-Potatoes..." Dan was saying, sounding a bit random to the girls as Mega Man fell into a pit.

"SH*T!" Arin cursed, sounding quite irritated.

"Sorry... Sorry, Arin, I'm sorry...I got you excited..." Dan said, platforms appearing and disappearing.

"I can see why he died." Blake stated.

"Yeah, those disappearing blocks looks confusing." Ruby remarked.

"That was the most genuine exclamation I have ever made." Arin stated, respawning at the beginning of the stage.

"Yeah, that was a super, like, "F*CK!" Dan said, putting a ton of emphasis on the word.

"That was some f*cking Uncle Buck sh*t right there..." Arin agreed.

"SH*T!" Dan exclaimed, working an 'e' sound into the word. "I have a younger sister, and, um...when we grew up, we never fought...EXCEPT when I was playing Nintendo, and I'd get SO FRUSTRATED, I'd be like "GET OUUUUUT!" And then she'd feel super bad, and I'd feel super bad, ah...Nintendo. Just RIPPIN' families apart.

Ruby and Yang remembered a few times that they had fights with each other, they usually apologized to each other later after they calmed down.

"Apparently when I was a kid I had that same problem. I had a temper problem, with like, Mario Kart..." Arin told Dan, trying to jump on the little platforms that appear and disappeared but was having trouble.

"Yeah, because these games were SO frustrating, and you cared SO much about succeeding at them! Uh...Next time on Game Grumps...Arin succeeds at this! I'm calling it!"

"Didn't this happen last time?" Arin said with a laugh. "Next time on Game Grumps...I'm GONNA do it! I SWEAR!"

"Just by watching this, I doubt they'll get through this anytime soon." Blake remarked.

The scene cuts back to them attempting to jump on the blocks again

"Welcome back to Game Grumps!" Dan said...But he was clearly drinking water as he said it, as he was gargling his words. Dan let out a groan.

"Raster! Get outta here, man!" Arin exclaimed in false exasperation. "I thought I told ya to hide under the bed so mom doesn't find you! She'll send you back to Planet Gwizgar!" Dan was laughing throughout the whole exchange.

"Did they go insane or something?" Weiss wondered out loud.

"I don't know, but it's entertaining." Ruby stated, eagerly watching the screen.

The scene changed to a different area in the stage that had more blocks to jump on.

"At least their finally got through that part." Weiss said, who was starting to get bored of watching them go through the same segment over and over again.

"In Jersey, there weren't many things to do, as far as, like..."

"Just like how in Heat Man's stage, there's barely anything to do other than hop on blocks!" Arin interrupted as they got through the newest block jumping bit and into solid ground. "Go ahead with your story!"

"No, I'm good! I'm good! I'm almost TOTALLY over it!"

"I haven't even thought about it in the last millisecond! Or two!"

"Sounds like they're both still steaming about the last part." Blake pointed out

They went down a ladder and entered an area with even more disappearing blocks they had to go through to progress.

"What is with this level and those blocks?!" Blake exclaimed as Dan spoke up."So there was this girl named Jody, and um, I went on a date with her when we were thirteen, and we went roller skating together. And...Here's a fun fact about going on dates that I didn't know...Uh, when you go on a date with a girl, YOU SHOULD SPEND TIME WITH THE GIRL." They both laughed. "But I didn't know that! So our 'date' was pretty much... Uh, the roller skating rink we went to had video games on the side, so it was me playing the arcade game of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2 while Jody roller skated by herself in semi-circles."

"Wow, that's horrible." Yang stated, getting a nod from Weiss, Blake, and Ruby; the latter making mental notes about this whenever she goes on her first date.

"Oh God, that is SAD." Arin laughed, they finally climbed up a column that they were having trouble on.

"Yeah, it's super sad, but the cool thing about going on dates when you're thirteen is that the girls don't know what a good date is either, so after that, like, we hugged at the end, y'know, and I got a note from her the next day in math class with little hearts over all the I's, saying' like, I'm so glad we went on that date..." As they talked about this, they made it to a familiar area.

"THEY STILL HAVEN'T PASSED THIS PART?!" Yang yelled, thinking that they finished this part a while ago.

"Yeah, all she knows is that she went on a date." Arin chipped in.

"At least they had fun." Ruby said, happy that they had a good time regardless.

"Yeah, it said that was the best date I ever went on, it was super fun, and uh, then we NEVER went on another date, and she gave my friend a handjob."

Team RWBY stared at the screen in shock, blushing at how bluntly Dan said that as the duo started laughing.

"AT thirteen?!"

"No, this was years later. I'm just finishing the arc of my history with this girl. We all went to Wild Wood, which is where you go for Spring Break in New Jersey, and uh...Yeah, she gave my best friend a handjob. ...Good times! Just, young love! Young love, just...So many special memories...Of betrayal."

"I bet it was." Weiss tensely said, managing to shake off her blush.

"Good, good. I'm glad you shared your story. Meanwhile..."

"Ah, sorry. Meanwhile, back in f*ckin'- Arin failed a jump.

"MOTHERF*CK!" Arin yelled, causing the girls to jump in surprise.

"...Forever block town..." Dan finished.

"I HATE BLOCKS!" Arin roared.

"I'm starting to hate them too." Blake said, eyes half lidded.

"Oh man... No, it's fine, dude...I'm gonna-"

"F*CK BOCK! ...S!"

"Bach?!" Dan exclaimed, as Arin had mispronounced the word blocks. "Like, the classic music composer?"

Weiss perked up at the mention of classical music, being someone that likes to listen to it every now and again.

"I don't know, maybe he was an asshole!"

"I'm so tired of his symphonies!"

"DAMN IT!" Arin roared as he failed another jump. "God, there was a thing that showed up!"

"I blame you, Beethoven!"

"Listening to the ground! You should've known! You're DEAF! Knock it off! For all he knows, he f*ckin' SUCKED!"

Weiss cocked an eyebrow. 'There was a deaf music composer back then? How did that work?' Weiss thought.

The scene changed to Arin defeating the boss of the stage.

"Yes!" He cheered.

"Yeah!"

"Whoo! Ow! Two f*ckin' slivers of health!"

"Oh my God..."

"Finally we're done this stage!" Weiss breathed a sigh of relieve. "I seriously thought that we would be stuck watching the same areas over and over again until we died of boredom."

"I do have to say, it was really close since they were so low on health." Blake said.

"At least now we can see new stuff." Ruby said happily.

"What did you call them when you were a kid?"

"Uh...What, the slivers of health?"

"Uh-huh."

"God, I dunno, I don't think I had a name for them. Um...I think jimmyjams."

"Jimmyjams?!" Arin asked at the same time as Team RWBY.

"Jimmyjams was my all purpose word for things I didn't know the name of. ...Or jimjamjeroos."

"Mommy?" Arin said in a high-pitched, childish voice. "Yeah?" "Last night I found a bunch of jimmyjams in my underwear..."

"...What?" Ruby asked, not getting what they were talking about.

"I got some jimmyjams stuck in my jimmyjams!"

"What happened? Can you explain it?"

"Son...You're a growing man, and it's time we had the jimmyjam talk."

"Tiny...Tiny...boy...penis...ejaculatory fluid..."

"Ooooh, THAT'S what you were talking about..." Dan said.

"Oh, no you thought I was talking about the OTHER thing."

"Yeah...Well, they're all bad. Anything that can show up randomly in your drawers is never a good thing. ...Dude, I've NEVER had that first thing that you were talking about. The night jimmyjam release?"

They all realized what they were talking about and cringed in disgust.

"Neither have I!" Arin said as they chose the Air Man stage.

"I've NEVER had it!"

"Neither have I!" Arin repeated.

"And I read it in a book that ninety nine percent of males have it by the time they're fifteen...But like, what the f*ck?! Glad I won the lottery on that one! Bullshit...That's one of the two things that I got the...rare side of... Awful looking thumbs, and less ejaculations." They started in a stage in the clouds and were standing on a platform with small red heads on them.

Ruby started to feel uneasy about the facts of the male ejaculation facts.

Thankfully, the scene changed.

"Did you know...that Mega Man was supposed to be called Rainbow Man?" Arin asked.

"Are you serious?"

"Because he changes colors when he changes weapons..."

"Get outta here! What made them change their mind?"

"Uh, 'cause Rainbow Man's SUPER F*CKING GAY!" Arin said, playful joking evident in his tone.

"That's not nice." Ruby said with a pout. "There's nothing wrong with being gay." One of Ruby's friends in Signal is gay and they had tons of fun hanging out.

Arin is shown being killed by a boss.

"Good job." Dan congratulates.

"Thanks." Arin replies. Then the Game Over screen pops up. "Aw, f*ckin' Game Over bullsh*t!"

"Man, they should give you five lives..."

"F*CK! ...CHRIST! ...BUTT PLUGS!" Arin yelled before the stage restarted him in an area filled with pipes. "That wasn't an exclamation, I just had the thought, and I'm frustrated with that thought. Like...Stop! ...I go to a fucking psychiatrist...CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT BUTT PLUGS AND IT MAKES ME ANGRY!"

Weiss wrinkled her nose in disgust at the mention of butt plugs while noticed that Mega Man was throwing buzz saws.

"When did they get buzz saws?" Ruby wondered.

"They probably got it from a boss we didn't get to see." Yang theorized.

"It's shocking, man, because butt plugs were not a thing that I thought was real for the longest time, I thought it was just a joke someone was making, and then, for...uh... I don't know if we've mentioned it on a show before, I'm in a band called Ninja Sex Party, yeah, it's a comedy band...I guess SOME people don't know..."

"Ninja Sex Party? What kind of band name is that?" Blake wondered. Yang's eyes lit up. "Maybe some of his songs are in one of the CDs! I bet they're awesome!"

Weiss rolled her eyes, not really caring about the songs that any of these two dofuses could possibly make.

"How come you've never even told me?" Arin whined having Mega Man continuously make his way upwards.

"Arin did an amazing animation for, uh...Barry, put it up, just put up the link and then people can see it...in case they haven't." A smaller screen appeared on the bottom left side of the screen, showing a man in a blue leotard and cape with an afro and another man wearing all black clothes with a black mask covering his face dancing in front of a classroom full of teenagers that looked around the age as Team RWBY.

"I guess on of them must be Dan." Blake commented, getting small nods from the other three.

"Dinosaur Loogie..."

"Dinosaur Laser Fight...Uh, Dinosaur Fun..." The scene on the smaller screen changed into a colorful animation with dinosaurs shooting lasers at each other.

"And it's a god damn dinosaur..." Arin then made a sound as though he were building up saliva, causing them both to laugh, all the while the video in the corner continued to show dinosaurs spitting lasers at each other.

The team felt disgusted with the noices Arin was making.

"That's gross!" Ruby exclaimed.

"Those are the nastiest of all loogies, the three parters where it starts off as..." Dan made another sound. "And then, stage two is..." He then proceeded to make what sounded like a cross between gargling and choking. "And then stage three is like..." He then made a spitting sound. "Oh...It's disgusting to even do in JEST."

"THEN STOP DOING IT YOU IDOIT!" Weiss yelled, fed up and thoroughly disgusted with the duo.

"That's such a grumbling, subtle sound...I just imagine, like, "OH YEAH", with all the f*ckin' background..." Speaking of backgrounds, Mega was currently outside with clouds in the sky after about a minute or two of climbing upwards.

Then it cuts to the full screen music video previously shown in the corner, before going back to Arin making the noise. "That's disgusting...I feel very congested now, having done that."

The four members of the team glared at the screen. "You deserved it!" Weiss growled.

After a quick transition, the scene changed into Mega Man climbing a ladder upwards with a dark, starry night background.

"Uh, next time on Game Grumps, more anal fun!"

"...That's NOT something to look forward to..." Arin replied to Dan with a laugh.

Blake and Weiss face palmed.

"Hey, welcome back to Groom Groom." Arin introduced.

"Welcome to POP!" Dan added.

"Good ol' POP!"

"Guys, Guys! I've been meaning to talk to you about...Uh, by guys I mean you...I've been meaning to talk to you about a possible new name for the show. Uh, I kinda know my way around branding, so I was thinking we could rename the show 'POP!'

"How do you spell that? Oh you know, POP!"

"Yeah, it's P... AAAHP!"

"Or it could be 'BUP!"

"Did...did they finally break?" Ruby asked in concern.

"I don't know, but it's funny." Yang stated, wishing she had popcorn.

The scene skipped to a green area where Mega Man spawned. They immediately went right towards a ladder. Instead of going down the normal way, they jumped down and Mega Man free fell a screen before they paused the game.

"I keep thinking, on that menu screen, like, the pause screen, can you...bring it up?" Arin paused the game. "Yeah, I keep thinking it says "Phawbeque!"

"You guys wanna have a phawbeque?!" Arin said as he un-paused the game and the blue robot fell another screen and landed.

"You boys wanna have a phawbeque?!" Dan said in a stereotypical redneck accent. "We gonna be makin' phcon and phteak!"

"Phcon and phteak deliphs!"

"Next time on Phame Phumps, we gonna have a rawreque!"

"Oh my Oum, they did finally loss it!" Blake stated in horror.

The scene changes to a part further down the level where they were going down a ladder.

"Those things look kinda...Star Wars-y, those spinning jimmy-jams." Dan pointed up, referring to the spinning fan thing that was on the wall near them.

"Oh, yeah, they do!" Arin exclaimed in agreement.

"What's Star Wars?" Ruby asked, getting shrugs from her teammates as Dan and Arin dropped down in an area that had two small platforms, a floor filled with spikes, and an opening.

"I like 'em." Dan said as they jumped on the small platforms.

"I like 'em too." Arin told Dan.

"Yeah." Dan replied

"I like YOU, Dan." Arin admitted to his co-host, jumping down the opening in the floor with ease and ending up in another room filled with spikes and small platforms.

"Whoa! Is he saying what I think he's saying?" Blake questioned, a small blush on her face. Yang looked at the cat faunus and waggled her eyebrows playfully.

"I think he is." Yang told her.

"I like Star Wars. I hope I'm not breaking any new ground." Dan said, seemingly not understanding what Arin just said as they jumped into a purple room, which ended up being the boss room.

Arin snickers. "I'm like, I'm having this moment with you, Dan!"

"I'm sorry." Dan said as two of the purple bricks levitated off the wall as the two friends shared a laugh.

"What are they doing?" Weiss asked as the two bricks met in the middle of the screen, creating a small, purple robot.

"Apparently that." Ruby chimed in as Arin and Dan quickly eliminated the newly formed robot.

"I like you, Dan. "I like STAR WARS!"" Arin repeated before parroting what Dan said in a high pitched voice. Two more bricks left the wall and formed into another robot as the two gamers changed Mega-Man's ability into Bubble Mega-Man.

"That's like what would happen in my early days of dating. A girl would be like "I'm so glad we could be here together", and I'd be like "You know what? Lucky Charms are delicious!" I just had trouble concentrating." Dan told his life story as they continuously destroyed more and more brick robots.

"I can take a guess and say that the girl wasn't all too pleased by that." Yang stated.

"Look at them go!" Ruby watched in excitement as they effortlessly took down the many enemies.

"Have you ever had 'em?!" Arin asked loudly.

I wasn't sure when they introduced red balloons at first...But now I'm into it!" Dan said, laughing alongside Arin again.

"I wasn't FAMILIAR with the concept!" Arin placed a lot of emphasis on familiar in a goofy accent. The screen flashed as they destroyed the last of the boss robots.

"THEY WON!" Ruby jumped for joy.

"And then they brought in rainbows and I was like "These are a LOTTA new marshmallows!" Meanwhile the girls been gone for thirty minutes.

"Called it!" Yang quickly stated.

"These are a LOOOOTTA new marshmallows!" Arin said with the accent still present.

Weiss rubbed her forehead, feeling a migraine coming along.

"I wasn't always sure about the way it turned the milk purple! And there's like, a note that says "I'm leaving you." Dan said, returning to his normal voice when mentioning what the note said. Mega-Man beamed out of the area and back to intimidating castle with towers, a satellite dish, and a giant skull with a big green W on its forehead.

"This doesn't look like the stage select screen. What happened?" Ruby asked.

"Maybe they finished all the stages and this is where the final boss is." Blake theorized.

Yang shrugs. "Makes sense." Yang replied.

"As long as they stop that annoying accent of theirs, I could care where they are." Weiss grumpily said.

The castle flashed blue and showed them that they were about to go to the next stage, which was two stages away from a skull.

"I always thought they didn't go about it the right way! Because if they released a commercial that said 'We're gonna be releasing rainbows soon'..." Arin said in the accent, which made Weiss cringe and cuss under her breathe.

"The leprechaun never warned me!" Dan told Arin.

Luckily for Weiss and her beating head, After they laughed for a few moments the screen went dark except for the power-up selection screen and they were talking normally again.

"This guy's also weak against Quick Boomerangs." Arin briefly said as he unpaused the game to reveal that they were fighting a giant robot with a tank for its lower body a large torso and bulking arms and a roundish head with a large mouth.

"That thing is HUGE!" Ruby exclaimed in excitement.

"Yeah, it reminds me of when we faced Roman in that giant paladin unit." Blake pointed out.

"Do it. USE THE POWER OF YOUR PHAWBEQUE!" Dan yelled as Arin fired at it with pellets, taking down its health rapidly.

"Yeah." Arin automatically said as he continued to fight the robot.

After a few seconds, Dan started to make weird noises. "...Hawhaw! Hawhaw! Hawhaw!" Dan said, mocking the way that the robot's mouth moved.

"...For the love of Oum." Weiss groaned at let another weird thing they were doing as she covered her face and laid down on the bed, hoping to block out the Grumps.

"Yeah...Aha! Aha! I'mma punch you! ...If I could move! But I can't!" Arin said as the background and the enemy started to flash rapidly before everything went dark, leaving only Mega Man and the life bars visible. Moments later Mega Man teleported away and the screen turned black.

"That was fast?" Yang asked with her eye raised.

"Yeah, it's health went down so fast." Blake replied, amazed that a boss this late in the game was so easily beaten.

"Sure wish I wasn't a vehicle!" Dan said in a funny voice.

"I wouldn't mind being a motorcycle." Yang stated, thinking of her motorcycle at home. "Motorcycles are cool."

"Too many graphics!" Arin said, mimicking the voice

"That's right!" Dan replied.

"I can just wheel forward!" Arin said in the voice as the screen went back to the skull castle.

"I look AMAZING, but I'm PRACTICALLY useless!" Dan stated. Weiss wished that they would shut up or stop using those voices.

"My mom always told me it was better to be self aware!" Arin said as they were teleported to the second to last stage, which was purple with a ladder going up.

"Better to look good than to be good! A little tip from my parents! They were terrible parents!"

"I didn't like them! They hit me!" Arin said in the joking voice.

The girls just stared at the screen; even Weiss looked up to stare at the screen.

"Oh my God! That took a dark, abusive turn!" Dan commented at what they just said as they went up the ladder.

"Yeah, it did." Weiss stated, not expecting the dark turn.

"The giant guts dozer..." Arin randomly said.

The scene transitioned to a later part of the stage where they were currently in a room with a moving platform, spikes, spinning can robots, and a hole in the bottom middle of the screen.

"Aw, man, I remember a long time ago, I think there was a...What was the game show on Nickelodeon with Summer Sanders?" Arin asked Dan.

"Uh, Double Dare?" Dan answered, not sounding very sure of himself as they made it to the opening on the floor and jumped down to the next little area which had more spikes and another moving platform.

"No, no no no, the gymnast swimmer?" Arin corrected Dan.

"Oh, I was thinking of MARK Summers, I'm sorry." Dan apologized

"I don't know what it was called..." Arin admitted, making Mega Man move back and forth on the top of the area they dropped down to.

Blake turned towards her friends. "Are any of you following what their talking about?" Blake asked, everything they were talking about sounded like gibberish to her.

"Not really." Ruby sheepishly said.

"I'm trying to tune them out, so no." Weiss answered.

"I do!" Yang proudly exclaimed. "Their trying to figure out what game show was on something called 'Nickelodeon.' I would love to appear in a game show, it would be so awesome!"

Them grumps, in the meantime, were still trying to figure out the name of the game show.

"Describe it?" Dan told him, they finally made Mega Man drop down on the moving platform, taking them a few seconds to get to the next area.

"It was, like, Celebrity Contestants..." Arin attempted to describe it, clearing trying to remember more details on it.

"Okay"

"I don't...Agh, God, I don't even remember..."

"Celebrity Double Dare?" Dan guessed, they dropped down to the next area which was a long hallway with a enemy on a hopping robot vehicle.

"No, it wasn't Double Dare. It was like...It was called...Anyway!" Arin said, deciding to move on from their current guessing game. "There was like a kid, he came on and he had to guess what their hidden talent was... I think it might have just been called Hidden Talent." Arin finally figured it out after taking out the vehicle and was trying to kill the enemy robot that dropped from it.

"Finally!" Weiss yelled, throwing her arms in the air.

"Oh, okay." Dan said in understanding.

"Um...And, um..." Arin was stuck as he tried to remember more details about what he wanted to say.

"That's a random thing to guess." Dan stated as they pushed through and made it to a very small hole that was as tall as Mega Man and killed another robot before making it through to another tall hallway with another hopping enemy, which they ran under.

"Yeah. One of the kids was like, an inventor, and he was like 'I invented a fork with a spray bottle on it, you put milk in it, and then you just spray it in your mouth and it makes food not hot!'" Arin said, changing his voice to mimic the voice of a very annoying sounding kid.

"For Oum sakes! Not more voices!" Weiss almost whined, felling her sanity dropping by the second.

"That...sounds like a horrible invention." Blake voiced her opinion.

"WHAT?!" Dan asked in a high pitched tone.

"That is the most IMPRACTICAL..." Arin said them paused

"That's INSANE!" Dan exclaimed.

"It sounds a bit lame to me." Yang stated with a shrug.

"Y-Yeah." Ruby shakily agreed, though mentally she wouldn't mind trying it once.

At that moment, the grumps made it to the boss room of the stage that had platforms, bombable barriers, and five purple hemispheres on the walls.

"It would get so gross and stinky and rotten...And then, you'd have to refill it with milk every time, when you could just HAVE a glass of milk." Arin logically pointed out.

"Uh...Yeah! Excellent point...Excellent point!" Dan agreed with Arin.

"Just some giant cumbersome fork, with like a pod of liquid attached to it..." Arin trailed off.

"I wish you'd been, like, in the uh..." Dan started to say, thinking hard about the word he was looking for.

"The audience?" Arin finished for him.

"Yeah! In the audience as a kid, so like when that kid all proudly announces what he did, you can be like 'YOU F*CKIN' SUCK!'" Dan explained.

"YOU SUCK! STUPID ASSHOLE!" Arin role-played.

"Oh my God." Dan breathed out

"I would totally do that." Yang said without shame.

"Oh course you would." Weiss rolled her eyes.

The scene changes again, this time it took them back to the area with the moving platform, spikes and can robots; signifying that they were killed by the boss of the area.

"Welcome-" Arin tried to greet the audience, only for him to fall into the spikes, killing him instantly.

"And a new record is set!" Dan said after laughing his ass off.

"That...that was horrible." Weiss stated. Yang was rolling on the bed with laughter.

"I can't believe they died so fast." Blake said with awe at the Grump's 'skills'.

They respawned in a different area and ran back to the area they just died in.

"SHIIIIIIIIIIIT!" Arin cussed jovially.

"Breaking new grounds in failure! Game Grumps, 2013! Oh my God, that was hilarious! What do you think the actual time of that was?" Dan asked.

"Uh, it was like, three seconds!" Arin answered.

"Yeah, uh...possibly even less." Dan corrected.

"By less, do you mean like a few milliseconds?" Ruby asked rhetorically.

"That was NOT planned by any means!" Arin assured the audience.

"Yeah, it takes someone with a high level of stupid to do something like that, even on purpose." Weiss snidely said.

"Okay, God, it's fine." Dan assured him.

"Okay, so I looked up how to beat this motherfucker, and you do have to use Crash Bombs on both parts." Arin explained.

"That's brutal." Dan said.

"Sounds like it." Blake agreed.

"Lets hope that they have enough." Ruby chipped in.

"So I have to..." Arin said before pausing for a few seconds, causing Dan to laugh.

"English Arin, please use it." Weiss said with a roll of her eyes.

"Sorry, just have to harvest Crash Bombs from this impenetrable wall of death spikes!" Dan said jokingly.

"Aw, motherfucker, he gave me the fuckin' tiny life! The biggest insult." Arin said, sounding offended.

"Thanks, dick." Dan added.

"Your welcome you bozos." Yang said with a mock salute. Ruby laughed at her sisters antics while Blake snickered. Weiss stifled a giggle.

"GOD WHAT THE F*CK! COME ON!" Arin screamed in frustration after defeating another robot didn't give him the power canister for his cluster bomb form.

"That's absurd-" Dan voiced.

"Jesus Christ!" Arin said while laughing.

"Oh my God! Is this the only place you can do it?"

"Well, I mean, this is the easiest place to get it." Arin answered.

"They're going to be at this for a while, aren't they?" Weiss asked, staring at the screen with a frown and her eyes half-lidded.

"Looks like it." Blake answered. "If this is the easiest place to get them, then I don't want to see the harder ways."

"I guess it's the same as-" Dan started to say before Arin destroyed another robot, only to get another useless item that they didn't want.

"Jesus Christ! Give me a Jesus break!" Arin begged, his frustration growing. The second he said that, he destroyed another robot that spawned the canister he wanted.

"There ya go!" Dan said happily.

"Thank you!" Arin said gracefully before he equipped the Cluster Bomb form and took the item, filling the bar a little over half way.

"That's what I'm talkin' about!" Dan said in celebration for their hard work.

"Oh my God..." Arin said exasperated.

"One down, one or two more to go." Ruby said.

"This is going to take them awhile." Yang stated.

"...Crap." Weiss said, wishing that this would end.

Despite the footage showed signs of being cut and pasted together, the Grumps were still in the same area, farming for Cluster Bombs.

"Huh, I guess they're still at it." Ruby observed, getting nods from the others.

"I know you're not a very big football fan, but do you remember the Teppa Bay Buccaneers from the 80s?" Dan asked Arin as they continued to destroy the infinitely spawning enemies in the room.

"Oh, of course." Arin replied.

"And their cream sickle colored jerseys? Oh...It was the least intimidating sports uniform in the history of spooourts." Dan continued as if Arin never interrupted him, drawing out the word sports with a weird accent.

"Oh Oum why?" Weiss said with wide eyes, predicting that they were about to get very annoying.

"Spuooooorts." Dan and Arin said together in the accent, proving Weiss's prediction correct.

"I lave SPUOOOOORTS!" Arin said loudly.

Weiss gave out a cry of frustration. Ruby and Blake looked at her in concern while Yang grinned devilishly.

"Hey Weiss!" Yang sang.

"What?" Weiss said in a low tone, feeling like she was on the edge of madness.

"I LAVE SPUOOOOORTS!" Yang mimicked Arin, pushing Weiss's buttons. Unfortunately for her, she ended up getting on Weiss's last nerve as the white haired heiress grabbed the nearest pillow and launched it at Yang, hitting her square in the face.

"I HAVE HAD IT!" Weiss yelled as she jumped off the bed and stomped towards the door. She quickly opened it and stormed out before slamming it shut. Her team stared at the door.

"Was it something I said?" Yang said, trying to look innocent.

Ruby and Blake glared at her, making her laugh nervously.

"We should go after her." Ruby instantly said, about to get off the bed before Blake stopped her.

"Don't, we should wait a little bit so she can cool down." Blake told her.

Ruby was about to retort, but she realized that how Weiss was now, if they approach her now then there would be yelling. She hated it when Weiss yelled.

"Okay, but lets not wait too long." Ruby compromised. Blake nodded in agreement.

"Maybe we can finish this while we wait." Yang suggested. "That way when she comes back, she won't have to watch them anymore."

After some thought, Ruby and Blake agreed and went back to watching the video along with Yang.

"Oh my God, you know what we sound like?" Dan suddenly asked Arin.

"What?"

"Have you ever seen...um...the video for cake farts?" Dan asked him.

"Cake...farts?" Ruby asked out loud.

Arin laughed loudly. "YES!" Arin answered slightly high pitched.

"Ya know what I like da mooost?" Dan asked in a very different accent as they got another ammo canister, which they gave to the Mega Man form that used the Cluster Bombs, which filled it up to max. "Cake farets. Let's get this done!"

"Finally!" Yang exclaimed, getting bored of staring at the same screen.

"Boss time!" Ruby yelled excitedly.

The grumps went down the ladder to another area that had spikes and a moving platform.

"Let's get this done!" Arin copied Dan. "Like it's a f*ckin' task and SOMEBODY'S gotta take care of it!"

"Yeah, seriously." Dan agreed.

"Let's get this done." Arin said again.

"Let's get this done! Cake faaaarets." Dan repeated in the accent.

"Did she really have like, a Chicago/Minnesota accent?" Arin asked Dan about the girl that they were currently mimicking.

The remaining members of Team RWBY raised their eye at the mention of Chicago and Minnesota.

"Chicago and Minnesota? What are those?" Ruby asked.

"Perhaps they were some kind of cities or something from back then." Yang theorized.

"Maybe." Blake said with a shrug.

"Oh, that was what struck me the most about it! Apart from the cake farts." Dan said as they made it through the area and went down another ladder into the area that had the gap in the center of the floor that was surrounded by spikes.

"You know what I like the most?" Arin asked Dan.

"What's that?"

"Cake farts." Arin said, cracking up as he said it.

"You know what I like da most? Caaake feyarts!" Dan replied, saying it a lot more funnier then Arin said it in the accent that the girl who they were talking about most likely had.

Yang suddenly had the argue to eat some cake. "I don't know about you two, but I could go for some cake around about now." Yang confessed, her stomach rumbling in agreement.

"Me too!" Ruby enthusiastically agreed, loving sweets a lot.

"I would like some cake too." Blake admitted. "Maybe after this we can find Weiss and treat ourselves to some cake."

"YEAAAAAH!" Ruby cheered, making Yang chuckle at her sister's antics.

"Sounds like when uh...Cookie Masterson does the puppet in You Don't Know Jack." Arin told Dan as he carefully made his way through the level.

"Yeah!"

"I'm the Doonie! Who's the Doonie now?!" Arin asked in a almost incomprehensible voice.

"If you were to spell it out, I believe it would be 'C-E-E-K- space F-A-H-R-E-T-Z." Dan replied.

Yang quickly sounded out what Dan was spelling under her breath and chuckled when she realized what he actually spelled.

Mega Man dropped down the gap to another spike infected area.

"Fahrtez." Arin said what Dan spelled, which sounded like farts but said weird.

"Faaaahrtez." Dan repeated, drawing out the a of the word. They shared a few seconds of laughter.

"With that slightly unsure announciation." Arin said, calling out Dan's way of saying it.

"With, like, the hesitation built in... Fahretz." Dan described.

"Fahrtez." They both laughed again.

"Do you think they're almost done?" Ruby questioned, wishing it was over so they can get some delicious cake.

The video transitioned to a new area with a giant purple flying machine that was being piloted by Dr. Wily. The floor was made up of six white and purple lines. Almost immediately Mega Man exploded into pixels, signifying that they had just died.

"Damn it! Motherfuck! MotherFUCK Wily! Wily's a piece of shit! Wily SHOULD SUCK A DICK! GO HOME!" Arin cussed loudly as a game over screen popped up.

"Wow! he really has a mouth on him." Yang stated.

"Okay!" Dan said while laughing

"I'm just gonna go straight to Wily! SPEED UP!" Arin told Dan, yelling the last few words of his statement.

"Do it!" Dan commanded. The instant Dan said his command, the footage started to fast forward through the four fights the grumps had to endure to get to Wily, giving the three girls time to talk.

"So they must be almost done then." Ruby said as she examined the screen before looking at her sister and Blake. "I mean, the fight they just died at was probably the final boss."

"Yeah, I think they called him Wily." Yang guessed, remembering the name Arin said multiple times while he was yelling.

"At least they decided to fast forward through the parts that they already done." Blake commented. "If this video was just the best of their play through, then the people who already watched the full play through won't have to wait for them to finish the battles before they faced Wily again."

Ruby and Yang nodded in understanding when Dan suddenly started to speak during the fast forwarded fight.

"Okay, that's a fucking baseline." Dan said, referring to the sped up music. "How can your fingers move that fast?" It was obvious to the trio that Dan was making a joke. Arin started to make noises to the rhythm of the music.

"Like you're smoking." Dan said right before the second to last fight.

"All right, here we gooo." Arin said as he made it back to Wily and the speed of the footage returned to normal. "Welcome back!"

"Arin did great!" Dan complimented his gaming buddy.

"Thanks! THAT'SREALLYNICEOFYOUTOSAY!" Arin said rapidly as he attacked Wily with buzz saws.

"This is it! The final battle!' Ruby said, feeling hyped up for the battle happening before them.

Dan replied with saying something the girls couldn't understand with how fast he was taking. Just hem, the front of the flying vehicle fell off, revealing Dr. Wily.

"All right, here we go, here we go." Arin chanted as he equipped the missile to Mega Man and fired upon the evil doctor as he fired bouncing balls of light at the hero as Arin tried to dodge them.

"Shoot that fuck! With all manners of things!" Dan told Arin. After a few more seconds of attacking, the main body of the flying machine started to explode and a pod rose upwards from it.

Arin said yes triumphantly at the same time Dan said yeah.

"They did IT!" Ruby cheered while Yang pumped her arm in the air with a big smile on her face.

"Yes! Suck a FAT D*CK! SUCK A BIG FAT D*CK!" Arin said crudely as the body went upwards out of the screen. The scene quickly changed to a black screen with only Mega Man, his life bar, and a floating Dr. Wily visible. Then suddenly, Wily morphed into a green alien.

"Wait, what?" Blake said in confusion as Ruby's and Yang's excitement died down, they too were confused about what happened.

"I'm an Alien!" Arin said in a elderly voice.

"Oh my God!" Dan said in shock, not seeing that coming either.

"Yeah." Arin said calmly.

"Was that always the case?!" Dan asked the other grump.

Oh yeah! Dr. Wily's always been an alien!" Arin answered calmly again.

"WHAT?!" Dan exclaimed in pure shock.

"What a twist." Yang said. "Would have never seen that coming."

"Me neither." Ruby stated.

"I wouldn't have even thought that either." Blake claimed.

The once black background was quickly filled with moving white dots, most likely supposed to be stars.

"Yeah, dude. Isn't that fucked up?" Arin asked as he started to fight to alien while dodging the white dots that it was shooting at him.

"OH MY GOD!" Dan yelled.

"Isn't that fucked up?" Arin repeated.

"I just...My mind is EXPLODING with new knowledge!" Dan said in a frantic tone.

Yang made a fist and extended her finger out and her thumb up before pointing it to her head and made a bang sound. "Mind Blown." Yang said.

"He's a fucking alien, dude. Isn't that fucked up?" Arin repeated his question for a third time.

"Weiss would have probably would have exploded in rage at this point." Blake stated. "With him repeating himself and all."

"So that's his true form?" Dan asked curiously.

"That's his true form, man." Arin replied as he jumped around to dodge the alien's onslaught.

"Oh my gosh! ...Oh, nicely done..." Dan congratulated the game.

The scene skipped to when Arin defeated the alien and a loud, irritation noise rang out as the staring sky disappeared to reveal Wily at some controls and a large dome on the ceiling.

Blake hissed and covered her ears under her bow, the frequency of the noise hurting them. Yang, and Ruby just stared at the screen dumbstruck.

"Ah, just kidding! IT'S A HOLOGRAM!" Arin revealed in a tone that said 'Haha, fooled you!'

"SON OF A BITCH!" Dan yelled, most likely embarrassed by being tricked so easily.

"I gotcha!" Arin gleefully said.

"You totally got me." Dan admitted.

The three young huntresses-in-training just blankly stared at the screen.

"...That was very sneaky." Blake said, getting over the shock of the holographic reveal.

"Yeah, they sure fooled us." Yang said, cracking her neck to get a few kinks out of her neck for sitting still for so long.

Just then, the ending cinematic for the game started to roll, showing a yellow and red Mega Man next to a picture of a forest and mountains during autumn time.

"Looks like it's the end." Ruby pointed out. The trio turned their attention back to the screen.

"Let's enjoy this ending, because you did it." Dan said as leafs fell from the top of the screen.

"Walk through the seasons...First, it's fall, to represent all the falls you've had throughout the game." Arin said before the leafs became snow, the picture now a wintery version of the previous picture. Even Mega Man changed into a white and gray color.

"Now, we're in winter, to represent how cold and bitter you are about fuckin' Wily being an asshole." Arin continues as Dan sang before everything changed into a spring theme with pink petals falling this time and Mega Man wearing pink and purple.

"That looks nice!" Ruby stated, loving the pink petal theme mostly because she produces rose petals when she uses her semblance.

"Now, spring! ...There were some enemies that had springs in them!" At this point, Arin was running out of things to explain what each season represented in the game.

"Yeah! Those little rhumbas!" Dan listed one of the spring enemies.

"Fuck 'em!" Arin said rudely as the petals turned into rain and the picture turned gray with Mega Man being his basic blue and white color. "Now..." Arin paused, being at a loss on what to say about the scene.

"And...now the rain? Of summer?" Dan asked unsurely.

"I...guess it's summer..." Arin replied, sounding as unsure as Dan.

"Could be Florida." Dan theorized. "But you're still in the exact same place."

"There can be a few places that gets lots of rain during summer." Blake pointed out, remembering reading a while ago that some places in Remnant gets a good amount of rain.

At that moment, the rain stopped and the once grey picture became green and beautiful with Mega Man turning his head to look at it.

"Now that is summer." Yang stated with her arms crossed over her chest.

"Summer." Arin said with a sigh.

"MMM! My peripheral vision!" Dan said with another accent.

"My peripheral vision's telling me..." Arin said before pausing. "HOLY SHIT, THERE'S A FUCKING PICTURE OF A WORLD!" Suddenly the picture took up the whole screen, showing a beautiful green field with trees and houses dotting the land while the mountains over look them. On a hill nearest to the screen was Mega-Man's helmet, laying on the ground.

"Whoa, whoa! What happened?" Dan questioned the sudden change of scenery.

"Is that symbolic?" Arin asked.

"I don't know!" Dan replied.

"What do you two think it means?" Ruby asked her two teammates. Yang gave her little sister a 'I don't know' shrug.

"I think he had the right idea when he mentioned it being possibly symbolic." Blake said as she placed her finger on her chin.

"What do you mean?" Yang asked the cat faunus.

"What I mean is that maybe it symbolizes that Mega Man's work is done and he's done fighting." Blake theorized. "Of course, that's what I think."

"Who knows?" Yang offered with another shrug. "But we should finish this so we can find the ice queen and get some cake."

Excited by the promise of cake, they silently continued to watch.

"Was it all a dream?" Arin continued to question.

"Did you turn into a helmet? What happened? Did you leave? Did you leave all the fighting behind? Is that what it's signifying?" Dan rapid fired question after question. By the end of his questions, the credits finally started to roll.

"And why in a countryside?" Arin added to the wall of questions that they had about the cinematic.

"Boy, that went wildly unexplained." Dan stated.

"Waitwaitwait" Arin repeated after he realized something. "The game starts out like this fuckin' future city... And then, suddenly..."

"You go to the past, like Japanese Past." Dan finished Arin's thought.

"What the f*ck...?" Arin cussed, not knowing how to take this.

"Wait...Can we just call out how much we enjoy this super relaxing bass line?" Dan asked Arin, not wanting to think about all the unanswered questions they had. "Like, your fucking hand would explode if you ever tried to play that!"

"Oh my God, yeah. Like, you can just imagine fuckin', like, Victor Wooton..."

"It's like he can't even move...Oh, To-Tomoo...Wait, what does it mean that these guys...How did these guys play." Dan asked, finally noticing the names that went to a different boss.

"Okay, here we go...Every Mega Man game past the first Mega Man game... Every robot master was designed by a fan." Arin answered Dan.

The girls were impressed.

"Oh, STOP." Dan ordered Arin, not completely believing him about the robot masters.

"Yeah." Arin replied.

"That's so cool!" Dan said in praise.

"I think it was Famitsu that had that contest where you come in, you submit your drawing and you send it in." Arin explained before pausing for a moment.

"Keji Inafune, the creator would change the design a little bit, but it mostly stayed true. Um...And the only time they ever brought it to America was Mega Man 6."

"No shit." Dan replied in amazement.

"And Knight Man was made by a Canadian... And Wind Man was made by an American." Arin continued to explain.

"No shit." Dan repeated.

"Yeah."

"Is that why the enemies got progressively more ridiculous as time went on? Like, generations of Pokemon?" Dan asked.

"Yeah. It's funny, 'cause...It was in Nintendo Power where they did the contest here, and they showed some of the submissions, and some of them were just like "Whaaat?" One of them was like, Terror Teddy...That doesn't even FOLLOW the fuckin' formula." Arin said as they laughed.

"Excuse me, Takatsugu Wakabayashi? Can we get some more syllables in your name?" Dan asked the game, making the girls snicker.

"And Fish Man?" Dan and Arin asked at the same time.

"Oh man, great game, Capcom! You did it!" Dan congratulated the game company that developed the game.

"Presented by Capcom USA!" Arin read off the screen.

"You did it." Dan said again.

"Fuck Capcom in Japan. They don't know shit!" Arin said, joking about the fact that only Capcom USA was listed and not the Japan branch.

Dan and Arin started to speak and over lapped each other, so the girls didn't understand what they individually said.

"Thank you for watching Mega Mans...Uh...If you catch this from...not seeing the first episode..."

"Yeah, check out the first episode, and watch Arin, as he effortlessly glides through the entire game with no problems whatsoever!" Dan finished for Arin, by the end he was cracking up at the obvious lie.

"Dude, Heat Man stage? What a breeze!" Arin stated.

"Nailed it!" Dan said with a high tone. "Later!"

"See ya! ...Also go fuck yourself." Arin said before the video stopped, signifying that it had finally ended.

Yang leapt off the bed and to their TV. She opened the DVD player and took the disk out before placing it on the desk.

"That was fun." Yang admitted, turning towards her teammates. "So what did you guys think of it?"

Blake and Ruby took a moment to think about it. Ruby was the first to answer. "I did like the different weapons that they used through the game, and some of their jokes were really funny." Ruby explained. "But I would of preferred if they didn't cuss so much."

"I agree." Blake agreed. "I also like the areas they explored and the obstacles they had to overcome...over, and over, and over again."

"Yeah, they don't seem to be that good at games." Yang said. "I thought they were hilarious. But do you want to know what I liked most about it?" Yang asked them.

"What?" Ruby bravely asked.

"The fact that they ended up driving Weiss insane." Yang said with a cheeky smirk. Her two teammates stared at her smirking face for a moment before face palming.

"Oh come on!" Yang said desperately. "You had to admit that her reactions were funny."

After a few seconds of silence, Ruby and Blake got off the bed and walked towards the door.

"Come on Ruby, we should find Weiss and get some cake." Blake told Ruby, ignoring Yang on the way out.

"YAY CAKE!" Ruby shouted excitedly as she followed Blake out the door, ignoring Yang as well and closing the door behind her. Yang just silently stared at the door in shock before shaking her head and rushed out the door.

"COME ON GUYS! WAIT FOR ME!" Yang yelled as she tried to catch up to her team.


	2. RWBY reacts to: Boxman Music Videos

Ruby, Blake, and Yang eventually outside the building, her anger already shimmering down as she paced around. After catching her attention, they explained that the video was over and that they were going to go grab some cake from the bakery that Ruby frequently goes to get her cookies from. After they arrived, they each got a slice of cake that they preferred. Ruby decided to get chocolate cake while Weiss, Blake, and Yang ordered a slice of vanilla, red velvet, and lemon cake respectively.

They sat at one of the tables and starting eating their cakes while enjoying each other's presence. When they were half way done, Yang smirk devilishly and was about to tell Weiss about cake farts, only to be stopped by a glaring Blake, who figured out what Yang was about to do.

Before long they finished their cakes and headed back to the dorms. Once in their room Yang went over to the capsule and rummaged through the CDs.

"So which one should we watch next?" Yang questioned her teammates. "This would have been so much easier if these things were labeled."

"As long as it's not as annoying as those Game Grumps ruffians, then anything will be fine with me." Weiss stated before turning her nose up at the thought of having to deal with something like that again.

Yang ended up just picking up a random CD and went to their disk player and inserting it.

"I wonder what's in it?" Ruby said as she took the spot she occupied during the first CD. The others followed suit and took a spot as the disk was being read.

A label entitled 'Smosh Productions' appears onscreen.

"I wonder what a Smosh is." Blake wondered to herself.

In the background, a music box rendition of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star plays while a baby's overjoyed giggling is heard.

"SHUT UP!" A voice randomly yells, interrupting the baby.

"I'm sorry…but did he just tell a baby to shut up?" Weiss asked with narrowing eyes.

"Who would they do that?" Ruby asked with a frown.

The scene cuts to a black and white shot of a train crossing the railway, another Smosh Productions label appearing in the foreground. The camera pans across a small grassy area as the name 'Anthony Padilla' is shown in the corner. Music begins to play.

"I think this is a music video." Yang stated while bobbing her head up and down to the beat of the song. "Catchy tune." Yang added.

The camera focuses on the railroad once again. Then it cuts to the lower half of a man walking straight down the middle of the railroad tracks. The name 'Ian Hecox' is displayed in the right side of the screen.

The title of the song, Boxman, is displayed perfectly in the middle of the screen, and the camera pans up the man's body, revealing that his entire upper half is concealed by a box. This box has a pair of eyes, and a frown drawn on in marker.

"I'm going to take a guess and say that's Boxman." Blake guessed as the camera pans in on different angles of the man walking down the tracks. Then, he begins to rap.

"So let me tell you how this all came to be!

I'm doin' this here rap for your safety!

So all you kids don't mess up like me!

And be disowned, by your family!"

The scene cuts to someone opening a fridge. It is a normal human being.

"So check it, this is how it all began!"

The man is pouring himself a bowl of cereal.

"I was chillin', eatin' some Raisin Bran!"

The man eats a spoonful of his breakfast.

"I decided it was time to get a tan!"

The man checks his wrist, clearly not having a watch on him, and dons a comedically over the top surprised expression.

"So I grabbed my scissors and then I ran!"

Weiss stares blankly at the screen. "Just…why?" Weiss couldn't help but asked, clearly not understanding the reason for the man to take scissors with him to get a tan, much less running with them in hand.

The man's hand is shown picking up a pair of scissors before running out into the hallway, shoving another man carrying a cereal box to the floor roughly, causing him to spill the contents of the box.

"I forgot my house was two stories tall!"

The man is shown running towards a flight of stairs.

"I missed the first step and began to fall!"

Sure enough, the man trips and rolls down the stairs.

"What happened next, I could not recall!"

The man is shown hitting walls as he falls before finally coming to a stop, lying face down at the bottom of the stairs.

"I was impaled by the scissors, but that's not all!"

The man gets to his feet. He appears to have the scissors lodged into his left eye, and is shown panicking.

"HOLY OUM! Ruby and Yang exclaimed in shock. Blake's eyes widen as she covered her mouth while Weiss face palmed, knowing that it was his own fault.

"I thought I could get some help on the street!"

The man is shown running out of the house in a panic, and out into a parking lot.

"I got run over by a f'in jeep!"

The man falls to his knees, then turns and watches in horror. The camera cuts to the front of an approaching vehicle before the screen goes white.

"That…looks horrifying." Blake stated while the others slowly nodded.

"The rest of this mess I won't repeat!"

The man's limp body is shown lying in the middle of the parking lot.

"To help keep your lunch, I've been discreet!"

The man is still lying in the parking lot as an image of the box man is superimposed over the screen.

"Booooooooooooox..." A backup singer chimes in.

Two cars, one blue and the other silver, appear to run over the man once again.

"The boxmaaaaaaaan!"

The same two cars drive back on, the blue one running the man over a second time before stopping, and the silver car stopping just behind him.

"He's the boxmaaahahahaaaan!"

The driver of the blue car steps out and gestures to the unconscious man while looking at the driver of the silver car. The other driver just waves a hand dismissively and the blue car's driver gets back in his car.

"Wow…isn't that guy nice." Yang said sarcastically as the chorus continued.

"He's a box! He's a box man, box man, he's a box, man!"

The silver car runs the man over again.

The two cars drive onscreen a third time, running the man over again.

And once again the two cars drive onscreen and run the man over, this time from a different angle.

"WHEN WILL THE MADNESS END?!" Ruby cried out.

"I woke up in a strange location!" Boxman was singing again.

The screen is blurry, signifying the perspective of a person regaining consciousness. A pair of torn jeans is shown.

"Some dirty bum had an explanation!"

The camera focuses on the smiling face of said dirty bum.

"Apparently he had no education!"

The bum is shown drinking Windex.

"If he's willing to drink window cleaner, I think he has more to worry about then having no education." Weiss stated as she wrinkled her nose.

"He turned my body into an abomination!"

The scene is shown from Boxman's point of view as he holds up a mirror and sees his new box face. His mouth is in an O shape, signifying shock.

"He said he found me on the road nearly dead!"

The bum lip syncs the above lyrics as Boxman stares at him.

"It was necesarry to fix my torso and my head!"

The bum was still explaining.

"He had no human parts so he used a box instead!"

"And that, child, is where Box men comes from." Yang said jokingly. "Crazy bums with no education attempts to fix your crushed body with a box.

The camera focuses straight on the bum's mouth upon reaching the words 'Box instead'.

"The news was so overwhelming that I fled!"

"I would too if that happened to me." Ruby said, feeling sorry for the poor guy.

Boxman gets up and runs away from the bum. He runs into an alleyway. He runs out into a store parking lot. He runs past a park. He stops at the curb to let passing cars go by before running across the street.

Finally he comes to a stop on a sidewalk. His expression has changed. He is frowning and has gained eyebrows, depicting a very dejected and forlorn expression. He trudges forward slowly.

He passes by a sign on a store that says 'No Boxes'. And then a second store with a sign that says 'No Boxes'. A third store, same sign. And a fourth with two 'No Boxes' signs. The chorus picks up again as he walks past several more buildings with the same sign before eventually slumping against a pillar, apparently not noticing the 'No Boxes' sign on it.

"Looks like that place is racist against boxes for some reason." Blake commented, knowing Boxman's pain because there are more than a few shops that didn't allow Faunus into them.

The scene cuts to two men, one dressed in all blue, hat and t-shirt and sweatpants, and the other in a blue hat with a red t-shirt and shorts.

"Yo wassup homie, you know that Boxman?" The red man asks.

"Yeah, he used to be part o' my clique!" The blue man replies.

"Well how about now?"

"I dunno man, he can suck my-"

Ruby was about to cover her ears, knowing what he was about to say until the scene cuts back to Boxman walking down the sidewalk.

"It's hard to live with a body of cardboard!

You'd think with this cute smile I'd be adored!"

Boxman rips off his frown to reveal a smile.

"But since the accident I've always been ignored!"

Boxman sits next to an attractive girl at a table, trying to get her attention as she reads a magazine.

"Aww." Ruby felt more and more sad for Boxman the longer the video played.

"I trust one day that my hope will be restored!

I'd like to meet a girl who likes me for me!"

Boxman tries to get her attention by grabbing at her arm.

"But of course no girl likes a guy made of tree!"

The girl stands rigid and shoves Boxman away from her roughly, sending him sprawling onto the ground.

This made Weiss remember all the times she rejected Jaune's flirting, making her feel bad. At least he's started to notice Pyrrha more.

"I get so desperate that I cry and I plea!"

Boxman is shown on his knees, a tear on his face.

"I'd even take a fat girl to a tolerable degree!"

Boxman is shown standing on a sidewalk, the words 'tolerable degree' appearing onscreen as he says them.

"I guess it ain't bad to be a box like me!

Hey at least I ain't Mary Kate or Ashley!"

"I don't know why, but I think that was supposed to be a burn." Yang said with a chuckle.

"Only you would realize that." Blake pointed out.

Boxman is walking down the sidewalk, magazine in hand.

"If I ever wanna travel across the sea!"

Boxman is dancing in front of a pond, ducks swimming by.

"I disguise myself as a package and fly for free!"

Boxman is shown writing an address on his face.

"Well the moral of the story is airfare's expensive as hell!

So that's the end of my tale! So long and farewell!"Boxman walks off the train tracks.

"At least he found a plus side of being halve box." Ruby cheerily said. "But I thought the moral would be not to run with scissors."

The chorus kicks up again. Boxman is shown happily running through a field.

Then he is shown playing on a child's swingset.

Then he is shown entering a cafe with a smile on his face and leaving with a drink in hand.

Then it cuts back to him running through the field again.

It cuts to him shouting into a playground megaphone and listening in to see if he gets a reply before shouting in again.

Then back to him in the field, this time skipping merrily.

"How long is this going to go on?" Yang questioned.

Then to him playing on what seems to be a toy tractor on the playground, using it to scoop up sand.

Then to him going down a slide.

And then running through a field one more time before it showed him running towards a tetherball pole and grabbing it, the momentum of his running causing him to swing around. The video paused in mid swing before the screen went dark.

"Well that was a good song." Yang admitted with an approving nod.

"Yeah, but I wish that he didn't have to put up with all that." Blake sympathetically said, Ruby nodding in agreement.

"To be honest, he had it coming when he decided to run with scissors." Weiss pointed out, but still felt bad for him. Yang cracked a smile.

"If we ever have children of our own, we should totally show them this to show them why they shouldn't run with scissors." Yang snickered at her plan.

Before any of the three could retort, the Smosh logo from earlier appears, only this time in complete silence. The scene shows a black and white shot of Boxman sitting by a tree with a present on his lap as music begins to play. He is shown writing something on the gift. A closer inspection reveals that is says "To: Boxman from: Santa." Boxman happily puts the present under the tree and nods in satisfaction as Anthony Padilla's name appears in the corner.

"Are they celebrating Christmas?" Ruby wondered, eyes lighting up in excitement.

"I believe so." Blake said.

The scene cuts to Boxman attempting to hang Christmas lights, only to fall off of the chair he's using.

It then cuts to Boxman dangling mistletoe between him and a girl, only to get slapped.

"Even during Christmas, he isn't getting any." Yang teased.

"Ouch, even during Christmas

"All I ever hear about is Christmas spirit!

F- that sh- man, I don't wanna hear it!

Christmas time as a box sucks and I fear it!

Not this time, I'm not gonna be near it!"

Boxman is first shown walking down the street, before standing by his car. He climbs into his vehicle and is shown driving off.

"I need to find a way to get away from it all!

"That's sad, him having to avoid Christmas because of what happened in the last video." Ruby pointed out.

The mountains would probably be a good call!

Only snow and trees what I recall!

I need to get there fast, oh sh there's a wall!"

The four couldn't help but chuckle at the sudden randomness of those lyrics.

Boxman is shown in the driver's seat, before a brief pan to the outside of the vehicle where he barely avoids hitting a wall.

"That was close." Ruby stopped laughing and sighed in relieve.

"I tell you why I hate this time of the year!"

Boxman is shown waving merrily as a group of people, presumably his family, enter his home.

"Last year my family came to spread cheer!"

Boxman is shown happily opening a gift from his family. But his smile quickly becomes a frown.

"They gave me a bunch of gifts that tease me!"

Boxman opens a gift containing two rolls of tape.

"None of them were aimed to please me!"

The next gift he opens contains a note. It depicts a picture of a lighter, and it says "Kill Yourself! Love your brother." With a smiling face next to brother.

They all looked at the note in horror. "What kind of monsters would do that to one of their family member?!" Ruby exclaimed. Yang's face had a stony expression and her eyes turned red as she wrapped her arm around Ruby and held her close. Blake stared blankly at the TV. Weiss clenched the bed sheets, even though the last few Christmas's at her family weren't the best because of how stressed out her family was because of the White Fang, her family deeply cared for her and she deeply cared for them.

"That's why Christmas is spent by myself!"

Boxman is shown in the driver's seat again.

"No more Santa and his fking elf!"

A jolly elf is shown dancing on the sidewalk before Boxman runs over and roughly shoves him to the ground.

"But now I've reached my destination!

And I can have fun without hesitation!"

Boxman's car is shown stopping in a parking lot near a mountain cabin.

Boxman is now outside of his car. He is happily frolicking in the snow, doing a jump and turning in midair.

The girls started to feel better now that Boxman was having a better time then he would have been with his family.

He is then shown sliding down a small hill on his back.

Afterwards he is shown dancing, thrusting his pelvis back and forth.

Yang snorted in laughter while Weiss rolled her eyes at the pelvic thrust.

Then he is shown peeing in the snow. The camera reveals he had been writing his name in the snow with his urine.

Ruby blushed at the action and looked while Yang snickered at her sister's expense.

He is shown doing another happy jump in the snow.

"Boooxman!" The backup singer chimes in as Boxman scoops up a snowball. "Boxman's Christmas!"

Boxman throws the snowball. It hits a woman on the back of the head and she falls to the snow face first.

"I can tell that this won't end well." Blake predicted.

"It's the Boxman Christmas!"

Blake's prediction became true when the camera flashes repeatedly, cutting back and forth between the girl laying in the snow, a man, presumably her boyfriend, glaring heatedly at Boxman, and Boxman was smiling happily.

"Boxman Christmas!"

The angry man reaches out to the side and someone from off-screen hands him a baseball bat. He charges forward. Boxman has his hands by his mouth, which is in an O shape.

"Run Boxman, run!" Ruby urged him.

"BOXMAN CHRISTMAS!"

The woman is getting up in the background as the man gets to Boxman.

"Hey man, what'd you hit my girlfriend for?!

Want me to flatten you, use you as a floor?!" The man demands.

"No no no, I was tryin' to have fun!

Oh you have a bat? Well I have a gun!"

Boxman pulls out his weapon to prove his point.

"Don't bring a bat to a gun fight." Yang stated.

"Unless the bat to transform into a grenade launcher or a flamethrower." Ruby pointed out.

"Okay yeah." Yang shrugged.

"Calm down, guys, no need to fight!

I can give y'all some...tonight." The man's girlfriend tries to reason.

"That sounds real good, my hoe is right!" The man says happily.

"Looks like he's getting some this year." Yang said as she waggled her eyebrows.

"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAANG!" Ruby yelled, her face as red as her clothes.

"Yeah, that's a great way to settle this plight!" Boxman agrees.

"Let's hurry up and get into our ride!

There is even some free candy inside!" The woman promises.

Warning bells rang in Weiss's head. "It's a trap!" Weiss exclaimed.

"Hey now, what are those shirts you're wearin'?!

What are those box cutters you're bearin'?!"

Boxman suddenly looks shocked and afraid as he slowly backs away. The couple approaches him, their jackets undone to reveal shirts that say "I hate boxes."

"It was your kind that changed our life, you see!

Our family was killed in a box factory!

Now we'll remove you from history!" The man says as he threatens Boxman with the box cutter.

'What are the chances of that?' Blake thought.

"Hey look over there, I think I see Bruce Lee!" Boxman points in the opposite direction, causing them to turn, and then he runs for his life.

Boxman is shown running, before he makes it into his car. He begins driving away as the crazed couple chases after his car. He drives to safety, leaving them in the dust as he smiles in relief.

Boxman parks his car back in his neighborhood and climbs out.

"Now you see the kind of crap I go through!

But now I look at life with a different view!

My faith in my family's been rebuilt!

At least they won't try to get me killed!"

Boxman is shown approaching a door with a wreath on it. It opens to reveal his family. They run for him in slow motion, all looking overjoyed to see him, before pulling him in for a group hug.

"At least they're going to be a happy family again." Ruby said happily.

Suddenly, at the last second, the man in the family's eyes snap open, looking bloodthirsty as he stares at the camera, holding a lighter to the back of Boxman's head, intent to kill written all over his face.

"Or not." Ruby corrected herself.

The screen went dark as the video ended only for the next video to start almost immediately with the Smosh logo appearing once again.

"I love you, Sugar Booger!" A man's voice says.

"And I love you, Cuddle Butt!" A...'woman' replies.

"SHUT UP!" A third voice snaps.

"Looks like that's back again." Blake pointed out, thinking that the first time that it appeared was the only time.

The camera focuses on a black and white shot of the interior of a house. Boxman is seen sitting at a desk, writing something. A closer look reveals he is trying to perfect a love letter.

Roses are red

Violets are not

Compared to Hillary Clinton

You're pretty hot

"Um…what?" Ruby didn't think that it was that good of a love poem. Boxman apparently agreed as he throws it a rubbish bin full of other notes in frustration.

He stands up with a frown and walks outside with a box of chocolates in hand. He enters a park, and freezes in his tracks when he sees a girl sitting on a bench, reading. He turns to the camera and the song starts.

"There was this one time not too long ago!

When I saw this one girl that made my heart explode!

She wasn't like the rest, no she wasn't a hoe!

If I made her my girl, my life would be whole!

I've never spoken to her, not even a word!

I know that you're thinking that sounds absurd!

Believe me I've tried, but to no avail!

When I flirt with girls, I always fail!"

"It's kind of like Jaune when he used to flirt with you Weiss." Yang pointed out. Weiss sighed, reaffirming her decision to be nicer to Jaune.

"Boxman, Boxman, Boxman can't get a girlfriend! He's tryin', real hard, but he can't get a girlfriend!"

Boxman is shown sitting at a table when the girl walks by. He immediately sits down and attempts to impress her by repeatedly lifting a dumbell. She doesn't even notice and continues walking. Boxman's arm droops, tired from lifting the weight.

"Do you even lift bro?" Yang asked rhetorically before flexing her left arm and kissing her bicep.

"Boxman, Boxman, Boxman can't get a girlfriend! He's tryin', real hard, but he can't get a girlfriend!"

Boxman is shown raking leaves off of his roof when the girl jogs by with a smile on her face. Boxman tries to wave to her...only to lose his balance and fall off the roof. He hits the ground and his limbs bend at awkward angles.

"I know that you want a girlfriend real bad, but it's no reason to get…bent out of shape." Ruby, Weiss, and Blake booed at Yang's horrible pun.

"Why is he even raking his roof, there's no leaves." Blake pointed out.

The scene cuts to Boxman near some trees, the words "Boxman Dance Time" appearing in the foreground. Boxman is simply dancing...and seemingly getting the girl's attention, as she looks over in his direction.

"That's a first." Ruby stated.

Suddenly, in a flash, the blue and red clad gangsters from the first video appeared and began to dance alongside Boxman.

Then in another flash, a tan man with sunglasses, a man with a red baseball cap and checkered shirt, a hillbilly with a hat, camo jacket and vest, and a man with a white toque and black sweater appear and join the dancing.

"Eh…their choreography needs a little bit of work." Weiss critiqued. "Other than that, it's golden.

"It's about time that I faced my fears!

Or I'll regret this for years and years!"

Boxman is approaching the girl, chocolate in hand.

"Man I'm so nervous, I think I might hurl!

Hey there, Boxman! My name is pretty girl!"

The girl looks at him weirdly.

The four chuckled at his nervous mistake.

"That reminds me of a guy that asked me out a few years ago." Yang remembered fondly. Ruby remembered that too. She along with Yang and their dad were at the mall when A random boy came up to them and nervously asked her out. Yang thought his nervousness was adorable while dad was glaring at him with molten daggers for eyes. The second the poor boy saw the glare, he ran away screaming.

Good times.

"Oh wait, I'm sorry! I'm not good at this!

[Sniff] You smell that? It smells like piss!"

The camera focuses on Boxman's jeans. They're all wet.

"Again with the urine jokes?" Ruby threw her arms up.

"Oh God, excuse me! Just ignore the pee!

Will you please go on a date with me?!"

Boxman looks mortified, but presses on regardless. He hands the girl the chocolates.

"Boxman, Boxman, Boxman just got a girlfriend! Even after pissing his pants, Boxman just got a girlfriend!"

The girl surprisingly accepts Boxman's offer graciously, smiling warmly as he leads her into the fields. They spin in circles, holding each other's hands. The girl is smiling cheerfully, but Boxman is looking rather dizzy.

Blake narrows her eyes in suspension. "Something about this seems fishy." Blake voiced her concern.

"Come on Blake, maybe Boxman finally found his one true love." Ruby argued.

"Maybe…Maybe." Blake replied, still not sure what was going on.

"Boxman, Boxman, Boxman just got a girlfriend! Even after pissing his pants, Boxman just got a girlfriend!"

The two are seen cloud gazing. The girl points out a cloud in the shape of a heart. Boxman points out a cloud shaped like a balding man with a moustache.

"That's random." Weiss said as they looked at the man's head in the cloud.

"Looks like he has his head in the clouds." Yang made another bad pun.

"Goddamn it Yang!" Weiss cussed at Yang, rubbing her face with her hands.

They then enter a restaurant where they sit down and chat happily. The waiter approaches.

"Why you with a box when you lookin' so hot?

You know that kind of thing will get you shot!

Humans and boxes just don't intertwine!

I could have you arrested for this crime!"

Boxman is looking very angry.

"What's wrong with you, man? It's the twenty first century!

Why you gotta go and act so elementary?

I'm human inside, although it doesn't show!

Come on, baby! Let's go!"

"You tell 'em Boxman!" Ruby cheered for the discriminated man.

Blake smiled at Boxman's resolve to be with the girl. "At least we know when this takes place."

Blake said, remembering that Boxman said it was the twenty first century.

Boxman gets to his feet and gestures for his girlfriend to follow, wanting to leave.

Boxman is walking down the street with his girlfriend. She is picking her nose.

"Ew!" Weiss cringed at the disgusting behavior.

"That's gross!" Ruby added.

"I'm not gonna let people bring me down!

No it's just something that I won't allow!

I taught myself that I should just walk away!

But then I always throw boiling water in their face!"

Boxman is shown splashing water onto the waiter from earlier. He smiles as the man screams in agony and clutches his face.

"That's…one way of getting people off your back." Yang said. Blake looks down; she too used to use violence to get back at people who discriminated against her and the other faunas' when she was in the White Fang.

Boxman is then shown driving with his girlfriend in the passenger seat. She's still picking her nose.

"Stop picking your nose!" Weiss growled. "It's so uncouth!" The girl then eats the booger, making Weiss and Ruby gag.

"If there's something that I learned from all this!

It's that love is not about a kiss or chocolates!

Sticking together through thick and thin!

And if someone's a dick, throw hot water on him!"

Boxman is shown dumping a bucket of water on the man as he writhes on the ground and tries to shield himself.

"Boxman! Boxman! Boxman has got a girlfriend! He's wanted for attempted murder, but he's still got a girlfriend!"

Boxman and his girlfriend exit the car and go to what seems to be a beach. They skip through the ankle-high water happily.

It cuts to Boxman kicking the waiter in the side, the man seemingly unconscious.

"I think you made your point there Boxman." Yang said with an eyebrow raised.

It then cuts back to them frolicking in the water.

"Boxman! Boxman! Boxman has got a girlfriend! He's wanted for attempted murder, but he still has a girlfriend!"

Boxman is seen running towards a hill, only to trip and roll down.

"Boxman! Boxman! Boxman has got a girlfriend!"

Boxman and his girlfriend are playing catch, when Boxman playfully tackles her.

"Boxman...Boxman...Boxman has got a..."

Boxman looks utterly shocked as he holds up a wig. His 'girlfriend' looks mortified and upset as it is revealed that 'she' is in fact a 'he'.

"BOYFRIEND?!"

The members of Team RWBY just stared in shock at the twist as the screen darkened.

"I knew something was going to happen." Blake said after a few seconds.

"Only Boxman would have that kind of luck." Yang stated, trying to stiffen a laugh.

"That might explain why she…he was picking his nose and 'gag' eating it." Weiss added.

"I wonder how many more of these there are." Ruby wondered as the logo appeared once again.

"Looks like there are at least going to be one more left." Blake guessed.

"I'm gonna become president! Then I'm gonna go after Osama Bin Laden!"

"SHUT UP!"

Boxman is shown standing before a flag on a beautiful sunny day. He is saluting.

"Is he…wearing a tie?" Weiss asked. Sure enough Boxman was wearing a red tie for this video.

The scene cuts to him walking down the railroad like in the first video. Then to him waving around a sign that says "Boxman 2008". It cuts back and forth to scenes of him dancing in various different areas before focusing on him standing at a podium, flags on either side, before saluting.

"My fellow Americans..."

"My name is Boxman, I'm running for Prez!

I know I'm gonna win 'cause I'm better than the rest!

I'm here to fix the U.S. so don't distress!

And I'm the best dressed!

But I digress!"

"It looks like he's trying to run for some kind of leadership position." Blake pointed out.

"Maybe he's running for his city." Ruby theorized.

Boxman is simply shown dancing in various areas.

Boxman sits on a bench, four parts of America as seen on maps were appearing around him.

"The North to the South to the East to the West!

America will look like less of a mess!"

"Is that supposed to be America?" Yang asked, looking at the four pieces of America that surrounded Boxman.

"McCain's not the best

I must confess!"

An image of a white haired man in a red crossed out circle appears.

"He definitely looks like a politician." Weiss said, knowing how to spot politicians from meeting them over the years at dinner parties.

"Now let me try to express

My detest!"

1!

He's bald and stanky!"

An image of the man from earlier sitting in a room wearing nothing but a diaper appears onscreen.

"So we have a man wearing an adult diaper. Classy." Ruby said feeling slightly disgusted.

"2!

He's old and cranky!"

An image of McCain sitting on a chair resting his hands on a cane appears.

"YOU DAMN KIDS! GET OFF ME LAWN!" Yang yelled, hunching over and shaking her fist in the air. The others laughed at her grumpy old person impression.

"3!

He's got hair and his back, and-"

An image of McCain with his back turned to the camera appears. His back is COVERED in hair.

"I've seen hairy Faunus that had less back hair then him." Blake said having met a lot of Faunus's in the White Fang that had a lot of hair because of the animal characteristics they have.

"4!

He smokes a lot of crack!"

An image of McCain flashing a thumb up at the camera and wearing an odd red hat appears, looking high.

"As you can see, John McCain is a joke!

He's in his mid-seventies, he's bound to have a stroke!

The other candidates will feel the pain!

When I raise the trail with my campaign!"

"Boxman is runnin' for president!"

"I'm guessing that's the position he's running for." Blake thought outloud.

Boxman is holding up a sign advertising his running. He turns and someone throws a soda cup at him. He turns with a frown and throws his arms up.

"Boxman is the number one candidate! Boxman will give McCain chicken pox!"

Boxman is watching a mother push a baby in a stroller. He looks thoughtful as he thinks of his opposition gaining favor by kissing babies.

He then proceeds to charge forward towards the mother, lips puckered, and he grabs the baby from the stroller. The mother, however, does not trust Boxman, and pulls her baby away before punching him.

"Stranger danger!" Ruby suddenly yelled jokingly. Yang snickered.

"Boxman is the only man in a box!"

Boxman is holding up a sign that says "Vote Boxman if you like Mac + Cheeze!" More soda cups get tossed at him and he turns and looks upset. An extra one hits him in the face and he staggers back slightly.

"Looks like Boxman had a bit too much to drink." Yang said jokingly. Weiss and Blake groaned.

"Of course you would know how drinking too much is like." Weiss said with a smirk.

Yang narrowed her eyes dangerously. "What are you implying Schnee?" Yang asked, using

Weiss's last name to illustrate that the answering wrong will not end pretty.

"Nothing." Weiss quickly said. Yang shook her head at her answer.

"I like Mac and Cheese." Ruby said, her and Yang grew up with it. Yang chuckled and ruffled her sister's hair.

"Me too kiddo."

"Barack Obama's not the right choice either!"

An African-American man appears in a crossed out red circle.

"If it was up to me you'd vote for neither!

Both McCain and Obama should get the axe!

Just let me tell you these Obama facts!

1!

He's got a chubby belly!"

An image of Obama at the beach in swim trunks appears onscreen. He has a chubby belly.

"Wow, look at the man boobs on that one." Yang commented, getting a groan from Weiss.

"For Oum sakes Yang! Do you need to make everything more unbearable?" Weiss asked Yang.

"His gut looks about as big as Professor Port's gut." Ruby innocently compared. The four looked at the picture of fat Obama and pictured their teacher's head on the body. Their faces turned green as they held back bile.

"2!

His pits are really smelly!"

An image of Obama waving appears. His white shirt has odd yellow stains in the armpits.

"I'm getting sick of these images." Weiss stated with disgust.

"3!

Osama's his brother, and-"

Obama is shown wearing Arabian garb and sitting next to a similarly clothed man with a beard.

"4!

He slept with my mother!"

An image of a shocked woman and a smiling Obama appears. Another person is on frame, but only their arm is really visible.

"I bet Boxman wasn't happy when he found that out." Blake guessed.

And then, another Boxman Dance Time.

Once again after a few seconds the red and blue gang members from the first video dance alongside Boxman.

Yang found herself dancing along with them.

Then, in a flash, what appears to be a child in a propeller hat and a bat-themed superhero appear to dance as well.

Shortly afterwards, in a flash, an old man with a long white beard and an English gentleman join in on the fun.

"So please make the right choice and vote for me!

You'll see!

I'll fix the!

Economy!

I gurantee!

Health care would be free!

Every day of your life would be filled with glee!

Now let's talk about the war in Iraq

And how we're wasting our time with that crap!

It would be faster with my new policy!

To just nuke each enemy country!"

"That seems a bit excessive." Ruby pointed out, not liking his plan to eradicate an entire country.

"Boxman is running for president!"

Boxman hands a flier to a man passing by. The man takes it, looks at it in disgust, and throws it in the garbage, much to Boxman's disappointment.

"Harsh." Blake said with a frown.

"Boxman is the number one candidate!"

Boxman is shown planting a sign advertising his campaign in the dirt in someone's yard. The owner of the house runs out and chases him off angrily.

"GET OFF MY LAWN YOU DAMN BOXMAN!" Yang mockingly yelled, shaking her fist and getting chuckles from the others.

"Boxman will steal Obama's socks! Boxman is the only man in a box!"

Boxman hands a flyer to another passerby, who throws it on the ground and steps on it right in front of him. Boxman is growing fed up with this rudeness, so he angrily hits the man with the rest of his fliers and then starts strangling him.

"Boxman angry, Boxman smash!" Yang roared in a deep voice.

"Let's stop wasting money on education!

And quit spending cash on transportation!

Let's focus on something for the population!

Like the eradication!

Of constipation!"

A man is shown struggling to take a dump, when Boxman appears in his shower, drawing the curtains apart, before casting some kind of spell on the man, who grins and gives a thumbs up.

"That's the amazing power of Boxman people, getting rid of constipation since 2008." Blake said humorously, remembering the sign that said 'Boxman 2008.'

"So when it comes time for you to choose!

Which candidate will wear the president's shoes!"

Boxman is shown trying on a pair of shoes as the explanation 'It's a metaphor' appears above his head in brackets.

"I would hope so, I bet the president shoe's reeks badly." Ruby stated, clamping her nose with her thumb and finger for emphasis.

"You'll vote for me, and I'll tell you why!

Cause my vice president is this guy!"

He gestures to David Hasselhoff, who dances as the words Hoff Dance Time appear below the screen.

"Is that head covering someone else's head?" Weiss asked, the head of Hasselhoff clearly being fake. Before anyone else could comment, the screen quickly flashed the title, "Boxman Loses the Election"

"Well that's predictable." Weiss stated, already figuring out what's going to happen.

"Boxman! Boxman!" A girl says excitedly as she runs into the room where Boxman and his friends are sitting eagerly. "The results are in!"

"Did I win?!" Boxman asks hopefully.

"No!" The girl replies with a big smile. Boxman and his friends slump in defeat. "Obama's on the line!" She tosses the phone she was using to Boxman. One of his friends catches it.

"At least we know who won." Ruby said optimistically. "And let's face it; Boxman probably wouldn't have made a good leader."

"Yeah, you're a better leader then he would have been, though that's not saying much." Weiss said. Ruby smiled in appreciation.

"Thanks Weiss, that means a lo-" Ruby paused when she realized what Weiss actually said. "HEY! THAT WAS MEAN!" Ruby cried out, making Weiss smirk.

"Agh, just give me the phone..." Boxman grumbles, clearly frustrated at another failure in his life. "What?"

"Hey, Boxman, I wanna congratulate you on a good race!"

"SCREW YOU, BARACK OBAMA!" Boxman blows up. "OR SHOULD I SAY BARACK'S A LLAMA?!"

Yang is the only one to laugh at the joke, making the other three to look at her weirdly. She stops laughing when she noticed the looks she was getting.

"Why? It's funny." Yang defended.

"No it's not, what he said didn't make sense." Blake pointed out.

"Yeah well…your face doesn't make sense!" Yang said in desperation for a comeback, but failed miserably.

Blake rolled her eyes. "Whatever Yang."

"...That doesn't make any sense..."

"Yes it does! It means you're a llama!" Boxman angrily throws the phone to the side...and a slice sound is heard, followed by a scream of agony. He looks over to see the phone has impaled his would-be vice president.

"Didn't think he would have such a strong arm to impale someone." Ruby stated.

"Geez, Boxman!"

"HASSELHOFF!"Boxman says in anguish as he runs forward.

"You hit me with that phone, you idiot!" Boxman cradles Hasselhoff in his arms as he screams in agony.

"Hassellhoff..." Boxman says softly. Hasselhoff...HASSELLHOOOOOFF!" But it's clear Hasselhoff isn't going to make it. "...First I lose the election...Then I lose the Hoff! How could it get any worse?!"

Blake hissed with a pained expression. "You…shouldn't have said that."

"Boxman!" The girl from earlier enters. He snaps his head to look at her. "The mac and cheese factory just blew up!"

"WHYYYYYYY?!"

"Told you so." Blake said. Meanwhile, Ruby's eyes widen in horror. "NO! THE MAC AND CHEESE FACTORY!" Ruby started to bawl while covering her eyes with her arm. "It was too young; it had its whole life in front of it."

Yang, feeling bad for her sister, started to gently pat her on the back. "It's okay little sis, it's in a better place now." Yang said to comfort her sister. Weiss and Blake gave the two weirded out looks.

"Those two just keep on getting weirder and weirder by the day." Weiss stated as she inched away from the two.

"Agreed." Blake said as she too scooted away from Ruby and Yang as the logo appeared for the fifth time.

Boxman is shown happily skipping down the street.

"Walkin' down the street on a beautiful summer day!

The wind blows, I return a man's toupee!"

A man and his wife are shown walking down the street when the man's hair is seemingly blown off. Boxman hands him his toupee back and the man gives him an appreciative thumbs up.

"I hold the door open for the man and his wife!"

Boxman is seen holding the door to a store open for the man and his wife, and they smile gratefully.

"At least they weren't mean to him like everyone else." Ruby said happily, getting over the Mac and Cheese factory exploding.

Boxman is then seen twirling in a field. "Blue skies are the best times of my-"

Suddenly, the scene cuts to the inside of a record producing studio. A man in a suit storms over to Boxman. "GOD DAMN IT BOXMAN! NO ONE WANTS TO HEAR YOU SING THAT STUPID GIRLY SONG! SING SOMETHING...BETTEEEEEER!" The man roars as he pokes Boxman.

Blake cringed at the man's yelling. "AH! That hurts!" Blake hissed as she covered her cat ears to block out the yelling.

The scene cuts to a now angry Boxman walking down the street and posing in front of graffitied walls, a new beat playing in the background. Yang grins and bobs her head to the beat.

"This is my jam!" Yang stated as she began to sway side to side.

"I'm a nice guy and get nothing in return but!

Cut in line, mean mugged, smacked on the butt!"

The scene shows Boxman standing in line at a store when a woman cuts in front of him and gives him a dirty look. Then a man behind him smacks him on the rump and he turns to the camera with a O mouth as the man says "Good game!"

"Oh my!" Ruby exclaimed with a blush.

"Oh yeah!" Yang replied waggling her eyebrows suggestively.

"By the way!

Saying good game doesn't mean its okay!

Guy on guy butt slapping's really gay!"

"Yeah, it's when you say no homo is when it's okay." Blake explained.

The man from earlier and a second man are shown running in circles as they smack each other's posteriors.

"No that's not me now, I'm Boxman verion 2!

Out with the old box, in with the new!

Don't expect a dance from me, that's so overplayed!"

The scene cuts to Boxman happily dancing in a field.

"Boxman dance time won't get me laid!"

Boxman attempts to dance beside a woman to get her attention, but she just looks disgusted by his presence.

"I would be disgusted to if someone did that to me." Weiss said, crossing her arms.

"The old me would be polite and hold open doors!"

A flashback of Boxman holding the door open for the man with the toupee plays.

"Not the new me, I'll walk past 'cause I'm hardcore!"

Boxman is shown holding the door open for the couple once again, only to close it once they're in distance.

"Hand me that paper!

Huh?

No I won't say please!"

Boxman snatches a newspaper away from the man's wife, who seems utterly baffled by Boxman's change in personality.

He's turning into such a jerk!" Ruby said with a sad frown, lips quivering. "I want to old Boxman back."

"Because I'm a BAMF like Sue from Glee!"

Boxman presents the newspaper to the camera. It shows a picture of a woman.

"Which gang should I join? The Bloods or the Crips?"

Boxman holds up two circles, one blue and one red, in each hand.

"Why not combine the two, purple is hip!"

Boxman puts the two circles together to create a purplish hue.

"Barney is a dinosaur from our imagination!"

A man in a dinosaur suit is shown dancing.

"Let's see that dinosaur's gang operation!"

Boxman shoves the man to the ground roughly.

"That dinosaur didn't deserve that." Blake stated.

"Let's see that dinosaur's gang operation!

He's a Boxman, version two! Everything you knew about him's now untrue!"

Three thugs in purple are shown conversing when Boxman approaches, wearing a purple headband. They size him up for a moment before nodding in approval. Boxman jumps for joy and runs off with the gang.

"He's a Boxman! 2.0! He's really badass like G.I. Joe!"

Boxman is shown having a tea party with various stuffed animals.

"That's nice." Ruby said, feeling nostalgia of when she was younger and would have tea parties with her toys. Sometimes their Uncle Qrow would join in, but he kept on pouring booze into his cup when Ruby wasn't looking.

His gang walks in behind him and laugh as he tries to hide it by shoving the plushies off the table. The scene then cuts to his friends mocking him.

"He's a Boxman! In a gang! They'll make him do things that are insane!"

Boxman is shown walking out of a door. The record producer from earlier shows up to yell in his face. Boxman punches him in the stomach. Then he kicks him in the side repeatedly, pins him down and punches him in the face nonstop and body slams him.

"Okay, that guy did deserve that." Weiss couldn't help but admit. "But his new behavior is still appalling."

"He's a Boxman! As you can see, breaking that table was super mean!"

A man is shown sitting in his yard with a table, a sign on it that says "Will pay $ to fix my favorite table!" Boxman happily fixes the table and the man claps happily.

Then Boxman kicks the table to the ground and his gang arrives to help him destroy it.

"Just why!" Weiss exclaimed. At this point, they all were getting sick of Boxman's new attitude.

They walk away, leaving the man to cry over his lost table. The expression on Boxman's face makes it clear he's feeling remorse for his actions.

Ruby saw his remorseful look and felt hope.

"So maybe gang life ain't all it's cracked up to be!

Hanging out with old men who live at home just ain't for me!"

Boxman is shown pushing one of his gang members in a wheelchair.

"Oops! Forgot to wear my undies!"

The camera zooms down to Boxman's crotch area which is blurred out.

"Ew." Blake said blankly, her face scrunched up.

"They all saw my box butt and made fun of me!"

The gang members point and laugh at the drawn on posterior.

"Okay then, so he also has a face butt." Yang stated what they just saw.

"Stop everybody put your hands in the air!

There's a gang affair!

Going on in here I'm aware!"

"Aw shit, it's the popo." Yang said, sounding like a stereotypical gangster.

Everyone throws up their hands as a police officer comes in with a gun.

"Holy [Bleep]in' [Bleep] I'm [Bleep]in' outta here man!

I had nothin' to do with any of the plan!"

"and there he goes." Blake said. "Hopefully he'll change his ways now.

Boxman runs out of the room as the officer steps over to the table the other members appear to be playing poker at. However.

"Whoa, oh my God, dude, what the hell's all this?

Gangs play Pokémon? You can't be serious!"

They are, indeed, playing with Pokémon cards. However, one card in particular catches the cop's eye.

"Hey is that a Snorlax? That card is super cool!

I'll trade ya for my Squirtle, Mewtwo and Tentacruel!"

"I…have no idea what any of that is." Ruby admitted. "Was this…Pokémon popular back then?"

"Maybe we'll learn about it later in one of these disks." Blake told her.

"Now I'm a box living in a box on the street!

All 'cause I wanted street cred from the industry!"

Boxman is shown living in a house made from some cardboard boxes.

"I don't care if people don't like what they see!

If they got beef with me!

They can go hump a tree!"

Boxman is shown dry humping a tree.

I don't know whether to be disgusted or annoyed that he did this." Weiss said, feeling conflicted. "I'm just going to be both."

"He's a Boxman! Version two, everything you knew about him's now untrue!"

Boxman is shown skipping down the railtracks again.

Then, during the 'Now untrue' part, he is shown crossing out a sign that says 'Boxman wears a snuggie to bed.'

"He's a Boxman, 2.0! He really likes the Cosby show!"

Boxman is shown trying to attract a girl by chasing her down the street and pelvic thrusting.

"If he did that, I'd crush his junk." Yang commented honestly.

"Yang!" Ruby yelled in embarrassment at her comment.

"What? It's true." Yang defended her self.

He is then shown pointing, laughing and rolling as he watches a television show.

"He's a Boxman! The best now, doesn't try to act like the rest of the crowd!

He's a Boxman! Now he's cleaner! But if you're a prick he'll kick you in the weiner!"

Boxman walks into the record producer's room. He begins to yell at Boxman, who retaliates by kicking him in the balls hard enough to create a small explosion.

"Boom goes the dynamite." Yang cheered as the screen went black. They waited to the disk to continue only to realize that it ended after a whole minute of waiting.

"I guess that it's over now." Ruby stated as she got up and took out the disk and placed it on top of the other one.

"So you guys up for another one?" Yang said as she rubbed her hands together in anticipation.

"Hold up, we have an assignment for Dr. Oobleck to finish before class tomorrow." Weiss pointed out, making Yang groan.

"But his assignments are so boring!" Yang complained.

"She's right Yang, we need to get done now or we'll end up doing it at the last second like last time." Blake stated.

Yang groaned in defeat. "Fine." Yang said grumpily as Ruby closed the capsule and they started their history assignment.


	3. RWBY reacts: Jontron Part 1

The history assignment took longer than they anticipated and by the time they finished, it was dark out and far too late to watch anything else. Yang grumbled and said that they would continue tomorrow after classes were finished. Afterwards the four young women turned in for the night, getting the sleep they will need for the hectic day of classes tomorrow.

It was around 6:45 in the morning when Blake, the first one to wake up, to get out of bed and stumble into the bathroom for her shower. When she was done, her three teammates were up and waiting for their turn in the bathroom. By 9:00 they were in their first class, which so happens to be Professor Ports class, and for most of the period the all female team made sure not to look at him, still feeling ill from the image of him being topless that they were unfortunate enough to think about during the Boxman videos yesterday.

The rest of the day went by without incident. In Oobleck's class they turned in their history assignment that they worked hard on last night. After classes were done for the day, the team eagerly rushed back to their room and went towards the capsule.

"Oh man, I was waiting for this the whole day!" Yang yelled as she kneeled right next to the capsule and rummaged through the CDs.

Weiss noticed two CDs on the shelf and tilted her head as she inspected them. "Ah, I see someone labeled the ones we already watched." She said, eyeing the Game Grumps one with distaste.

"I did that." Blake admitted. "Just in case those two get mixed up with the others and we end up picking them out again."

Weiss nodded in approval at Blake's initiative. "That's a good idea Blake." Blake smiled at the complement as Yang got up off her knees, a triumphant look on her face as she held a CD in the air.

"Found one!" Yang stated as she scampered to the player and inserted the disk. They all jumped on the bed and waited eagerly for the show to start.

A logo that said 'Normal Boots' floated onscreen before the show began.

When it started, it showed what looked like a silhouette of a man walking down the street and a flight of stairs as music played in the background. Within said silhouette, various images were displayed. A bird was also seen walking along the ground, also silhouetted and displaying images. Afterwards, another logo consisting of the words 'JonTron' and two gears was displayed.

"JonTron." A robotic voice said.

"I have to say, this is the best intro we've seen so far." Weiss stated, finding the intro nice and relaxing,

"Whoever did the intro did a great job." Yang chipped in. Ruby nodded in agreement, humming the song that was playing.

The camera cuts to a man sitting on a chair with a green parrot perched on his shoulder. "Some people ask me how I get anything done!" He says. He then turns to the side with what looks like a confused expression. "Me either." He says before turning back to the camera. "Video game commercials have been around for as long as...video game commercials!" He says with a warm smile before turning back to the camera and saying "Me either."

"Not even a minute in and I'm already confused." Ruby stated, raising an eye.

Suddenly, a credits sequence flashes over a still image of the man, but it goes by too quickly to read.

"And that doesn't help." Ruby added.

"But then you see an ad for Sonic the Hedgehog next to the Cheerio bee, and you're like 'HOLY SHIT, INFILTRATION OF THE MAIN STREAM!" As he says 'Holy shit', the words appear onscreen over what seems to be a blue rodent like creature running through a loop while a bee struggles to keep up. "And y'know...You know about the mainstream back then."

"Wow, that blue rodent thing was fast." Yang pointed out. Blake just stared at the blue hedgehog as if in a trance, a primal hunger stirring deep inside her as she prepared to pounce the TV. Fortunately Blake was able to shake off those desires before she did anything embarrassing and mentally reprimanded herself for almost letting her cat-like instincts overtake her.

"Commercials usually went one or two ways, the first way being actual gameplay that made you wanna play the game." Jon said over footage of what appeared to be a sci-fi themed game of a man driving a tank of some kind.

"That looks so cool!" Ruby said, staring at the action and the cool looking tank.

"And the SECOND way that was some hipster 90s shit like this that made you wanna puke all over everything you love." He said this over a scene of a young man in a blue shirt and black pants sitting next to an attractive gothic woman on a red couch, slowly inching closer to one another. There is a caption onscreen that says 'THIS IS ACTUALLY A COMMERCIAL FOR LUIGI'S MANSION'.

"That was...interesting." Weiss hesitantly said.

"Your telling me, that commercial looks more in place in a commercial for some weird fetish or something." Yang stated. "Or condoms."

Ruby and Weiss blushed at Yang's remark while Blake simply nodded in agreement.

"Doesn't make ya wanna play the game." Jon says with a shake of his head before glancing off to the side for a moment. "Doesn't make you wanna play ANY game. Just makes you wanna go read a book. ...Those are obsolete anyways."

Ruby, Weiss, and Yang slowly turned to look at Blake, who had a dark aura seeping out of her while she glares in anger at Jon.

"Book will never be obsolete, you heathen!" Blake growled, sounding demonic as JonTron turns to his parrot.

"Whattya think of that, Jacques?" Jacque, which appears to be the name of the parrot on his shoulder, was silent for a moment before walking towards Jon's face.

"Nom." Jacques the parrot's eyes glow red as he replies and nibbles Jon's nose.

"Did...that parrot's eyes just glow red and say nom?" Yang wondered out loud.

"I think it did." Weiss replied.

"That parrot is adorable!" Ruby exclaimed. "But not as adorable as Zwei." Ruby quickly added. After hearing his name being said, Zwei climbed out from under Blake's bed and rushed towards the four then jumping on the bed. Ruby and Yang cheered and started petting him while Weiss just started petting him while cooing over him. Blake, however, backed away from the tricolored Pembroke Welsh corgi as much as she could and started hissing angrily.

Once they all calmed down, they watched the screen, with Zwei lying on Ruby's lap while watching the screen curiously.

"Oh yeah! We're watchin' top 10 video game commercials!" Jon's voice says over a black screen with the caption on it. He then begins to make strange noises as the caption spirals around in an out of control manner, which brought chuckles from the quartet.

A screen that looks to be outer space flashes onscreen as an image of Jacques and the number 10 appears in the foreground. Jacques announces the number 10 as his eyes glow.

"I'm starting to think that maybe Jacque is a robot." Ruby pointed out, imagining her friend Penny with a robotic parrot on her shoulder and sailing the seas as a pirate.

"Let's be honest!" Jon says as a black screen with the words on it appears. "The first time you heard of Super Mario World, you probably went like..." As he said this, a bright sky with a game cover depicting a short, chubby man riding a cute green dinosaur in the foreground appears.

"What's new, pussycat? Ohwhoawhoawhoa..." The scene cuts to a man singing on a stage.

After hearing the man sing those lyrics, Yang snickered evilly. 'I'm so going to start singing that around Blake.' Yang planned, only to turn her head to the left and see Blake's face inches from hers, her gold eyes narrowed to slits.

"Don't even think about it." Blake warned, already guessing what Yang was thinking about doing.

"I-ah...don't know what you're talking about." Yang nervously said, laughing nervously as Blake's eyes narrowed some more before she slowly backed away from the nervous Yang.

"Hell, man, you didn't need to PLAY it to find out how awesome it was..." The screen shows gameplay footage of Super Mario World.

"Just watch this guy, who has no idea what a video game IS, TELL you how awesome it is." And the commercial begins.

"This will be good." Weiss predicted.

"Super Mario World! Created especially for the Super Nintendo Entertainment system!" A narrator exclaims over footage of the game. "It's a bit more exciting! A bit more challenging! A bit more graphic! A bit more colorful!"

Jon decided to interrupt the narrator. "The best thing about the commercial is that only about five of the things he says are relatable to Super Mario World!"

"A bit more realistic!" The narrator continues. "A bit more sound! A bit hotter! A bit cooler! A bit weirder! A bit more revolutionary!"

"The only weird thing here is that narrator." Yang stated. "But at least the game looks good." The others nodded in agreement while Zwei barks, his little tail wagging like crazy.

"Sorry, a little more REALISTIC?" Jon says. "Uh...Compared to what? Super Mario Bros 2?" The screen shows footage of Luigi jumping over a shy guy. "The one where you're in a fuckin' dream throwing turnips at ostriches?" There is an image of an elderly bald man sleeping and a dream bubble depicting a turnip next to a yellow arrow pointing at an ostrich. "Yeah. I guess it is more realistic than THAT." The screen shows Luigi fighting a strange pink creature.

"I could see Nora having a dream like that!" Ruby observed, remembering the one time she had a dream about killing Ursas and selling their pelts.

"She'd probably would have sold the meat from them too." Weiss added, remembering the same dream the hyperactive girl had and told them about as well.

"For a lot of us out there, this commercial meant business! For the first time, we got to see a glimpse of our favourite games right there on the telly!" A small rabbit-eared TV appears onscreen. "Break out yo wallet, daddy!" A picture of a monkey appears onscreen. "I'm gonna break the bank!" A giant fist comes down from the top of the screen.

A black screen with three dots on it appears. "...That was me as a kid." Jon explains. "...I was hip, okay?"

"Sure you were." Yang sarcastically said, getting eye rolls from Blake and Weiss.

The transition screen appears again to signify the ninth spot.

Whimsical orchestrated music plays over a space background. "Elements for a successful video game commercial in the 80s!" Jon says as subtitles appear alongside his words.

"Catchy." Weiss blankly said about the title.

"Nerdy kid!" The scene shows a blonde teen with thick nerdy glasses and a white dress shirt putting a game cartridge in an old system. "Check!"

"Not actually a real type of person kid!" The camera focuses on a 'cool' kid with a blue jacket and brown hair. "Check!"

"Little to no gameplay..." The scene shows an 8-bit game depicting what looks like an elf exploring a dark room with green walls, a door and two fireballs. "Checkeroonie!"

"Don't you mean...checkeroonie and cheese?" Yang said, chuckling at her own horrible pun.

The other, gave her blank look. Even Zwei wasn't amused.

"That was the worst pun yet." Weiss stated.

"I agree." Blake said.

Zwei covered his ears and whined, hoping that he wouldn't hear a pun that awful again.

"It was kind of disappointing to be honest." Ruby admitted. Yang crossed her arms and pouted.

"Screw you guys." Yang mumbled to herself.

"Didja see the latest Nintendo newsletter?" The nerdy kid asks his friend, handing him a magazine.

"Whooooa! Nice graphics!" The not-a-real-type-of-person kid exclaims as he gazes at the magazine.

"Ya mean you haven't played it yet?!" The nerdy kid exclaims, adjusting his glasses.

The girls winced at the overall quality of the commercial. "Everything about this is horrible!" Weiss criticized. Blake ear twitched in irritation as she winced.

"Yeah, I hope that we end this part soon. The sound quality is getting to me." Blake stated.

"This is some of the worst commercials had to offer in the way of stereotyping." Jon says. "I mean, who's the demographic here? The cool kid or the nerdy kid?" An image of a man with a cocky grin, slicked back hair and a leather jacket pops up onscreen, followed by another picture of the same man wearing stereotypical nerd glasses.

"That 'cool' kid with the magazine looked like he just got his hands on his dad's Playboy collection!"

Yang chuckled. "Hey Ruby, remember when you accidentally found dad's porn collection a few years back and he caught you leafing through one?" Yang asked her sister with a shit eating grin.

Ruby blushed and silently nodded. This got Weiss and Blake curious.

"What happened afterwards?" Weiss dared to ask.

Ruby looked horrified at the question and gave her loving older sister a begging look, which fell on death eyes.

"It was hilarious, after he caught she asked him why the "pretty ladies were naked."" Yang quoted. "So dad ended up giving her the good ol' fashion Talk. Poor girl wouldn't stop blushing for weeks." Right beside her, Ruby was blushing like mad and was trying to make herself look small.

"Whoa! Nice graphics! I'd like to get my hands on that game!" The 'cool' kid says as he looks at the magazine.

"I mean, who's ever taken a look at a game magazine and been like "Haaly shit! DEM GREEPHICS!" Jon says these words as captions displaying the odd ways he pronounces them flash onscreen. "Little didja know, though, the target demo was actually the gangsta kids!"

"The Legend of Zelda is really rad! Those creatures and Ganon are pretty bad! Octoroks and Tectites and Leevers too! But with your help, our hero pulls through!" The 'cool' kid raps badly while the nerdy kid beatboxes. An image of a man facepalming pops up onscreen.

"I know I'm white, but these kids made me look like fuckin' P Diddy, aight?" Jon says.

"As a rap lover, I can say that I've heard some pretty bad attempts at rapping over the years." Yang stated. "And this has to be one of the worst."

"I agree." Weiss replied. "I don't even like rap and I can honestly say that I heard better."

The transition screen signifies number 8.

Footage of an irritated looking woman sitting in front of a computer is shown."I know a lot of those video game elitists like you guys were like..."

The scene changes to the inside of a cushy bedroom. A cartoon drawing of a snooty looking rich man appears by the bed. "This Dead Space 2 ad campaign is just proving the old gamer stereotype to be true and making us gamers all look bad and childish!" The man's face is replaced by a photoshopped image of a different man wearing a goofy smile.

"Well ya know what, have some GOD DAMN fun for once, huh?!" The man rotates before exploding.

"Yeah you old prudes! Have some fun for once in your life!" Yang exclaimed, pumping her fist in the air.

"You tell them Yang!" Ruby cheered her sister on. Blake rolled her eyes but silently agreed with them. She personally had no qualms with video games nor gamers despite not being one.

"Case any of ya didn't catch the 'Your Mom Hates Dead Space 2 Viral Ad Campaign, let me fill ya in!" The scene shows a first person view of someone entering a room with a computer in it. A blonde middle aged woman with glasses sits down in a chair. "Basically, they took a whole bunch of Middle America Conservative mothers, put them in front of Dead Space 2 and filmed them going "Our nation is going down the drain! Battling Modern Warfares and the sour skittles." The scene shows various mothers reacting to the gruesome, violent Dead Space 2.

"MAVGASS" Blake said.

The others turned and stared at her in confusion. "What?" The three asked at the same time.

"MAVGASS. Mothers Against Video Games and Sour Skittle." Blake shrugged. The girls allowed what the cat faunus said to sink in before they started to laugh.

"Good one Blake." Yang praised as she swiped a tear away from her eye.

"Oh yeah, I'll show you my opinion, this is...it's gross." A woman said, looking uncomfortable. "I HATED it. I...That's awful...No wonder society is so corrupt!" A caption that says 'Overreaction Alert' appears at the bottom of the screen. "We have a society of criminals. If I EVER see it somewhere, I will personally take a hammer and...and slam." As the woman was speaking, a see-through flag and an image of a man with a moustache appears onscreen.

"We will strike the corruption at its source and liberate our children from the corruption of video games!" Yang said in a mock accent, trying to mimic the women's voice.

"Can't you just take it for what it IS? It's FAKE, people! Let me tell ya...Kids aren't that stupid!" The scene shows a young boy in a green striped t-shirt sitting in front of a computer. "Although they're STUPID." The scene shows a little boy repeatedly raising his head up and down in front of a birthday cake, as if trying to blow out the candles with his hair. "But they're not THAT stupid."

"I think that kid might possible be that stupid." Weiss stated, her eye raised at the young boy's attempts to blow out the last candle.

The footage shows a sci-fi game depicting a man in a spacesuit fighting off various horrific looking aliens. "Just because they see killing in a video game doesn't mean they're gonna go off and do it in real life! No shit, do I really have to explain this?! Crazy mass murderers have been around since BEFORE Pong, actually. Space War...You're gonna...fuckin' comment... Be a..." The camera zooms in on what looks to be a comment section on some sort of video website.

"Bitch?" Yang guessed, filling in the blank that Jon left.

"Where'd they get their training? The Andy Griffith show?" The scene shows a black and white footage of a man and a young boy walking down a dirt path in some woods, carrying fishing poles.

"There's no implied message to this ad campaign. The meme of it is basically just this lady doin' her thing!" The girls are shown footage of an African-American woman screaming and reacting to the gameplay.

The girls snorted in laughter. "Overreacting much?" Blake asked out loud, trying to keep herself from bursting out laughing.

Jon laughs. "That is NEVER gonna get old... Y'all may shit on it. But ya know what? I'm just here to have a good time, and a good time was certainly had watchin' these. Thanks, EA!"

"Yeah thanks, we really enjoyed that laugh." Ruby stated after calming down.

"Number 7"

"Does the Wii really need commercials?" Jon asks as a logo, followed by a hand holding a remote shows. "Back in 2006 and 7, everyone was going NUTS over the thing!" Footage shows a large crowd of people standing in the street cheering as a car drives by with a game console photoshopped on top as two men ran up and threw a sign that had an ad for Marlboro at the car.

"Um...I don't think their cheering." Ruby pointed out, feeling that throwing signs at what people are cheering for is actually cheering for them.

"Who knows, some people are just crazy like that." Blake stated right before remembering a White Fang protest that she went to as a young kitten Faunus where she tossed her sign at a Schnee company executive that called them 'flea bitten animals.'

"You couldn't even shimmy down the block wit-cha homies 'tout hearin' from dem rooftops. Ya hear bout dem motion-This joke is over." The footage shows the same cool looking man from earlier walking down the street as captions appear onscreen.

"Oh come on! You can't just quit on a joke halfway through!" Yang complained. "You have to stick with your guns until it's over, no matter whether or not you realize that it was a lame joke."

"Is that why you keep saying those horrid puns of your?" Weiss asked, giving Yang a knowing smirk. Yang glared at the heiress.

"Watch it Schnee or I might tie you down and make you listen to every joke and pun I have as PUNishment." Yang threatened as her eyes becoming red, making another pun as a way to illustrate the hell she was about to unleash.

Weiss paled. "Please no! I'll be good!" Weiss quickly said, deciding that punishment was worse than death or any other form of torture.

"But here we have the Re would rike to pray' ad campaign. The most politically correct commercial Nintendo's EVER put out!" Jon explained, making himself sound like a stereotype of how Japanese people speak.

"So what's goin' on? We got two Japanese business dudes drivin' around town in a smart car lookin' for sushi or Yao Ming or some shit, and they're goin' door to door disturbin' entire families, and the families open the door and they're like "Wha-dah wussgoinon? We ain't got no geishas." And the two Japanese dudes are like..."

"We would like to play!" The two Japanese men hold up a remote and bow.

"I don't know why, but I think he's making racist jokes about those two men." Blake observed.

"And then they're just havin' the time of their lives playin' Wii Sports like they're old folks in a retirement home! Just like Nintendo always wanted!"

An image of a game box entitled Wii Part appears onscreen in front of a hellish background. "Kill the hardcore market!"

"So is he saying that this 'Wii' console was made for old people?" Ruby asked.

"I don't know, but with a name like that, it's no wonder he's making fun of it." Weiss stated.

"What happens if they run into some bumpkins who aren't all Nintendo crazy?"

Ominous music plays as the two Japanese men walk out of their vehicle. They approach a very sketchy looking man, who gives them a dirty look. Another man arrives, giving a similar look.

"Oh! This is getting intense!" Yang said excitedly.

The scene suddenly cuts to the two men playing the Wii as high-pitched, upbeat music plays in the background.

"And it's gone." Yang's excitement deflated.

"Number 6" The robotic parrot said.

The shot focuses on a large building with a sign that says 'Sony' on it in front of said building. "So one day Sony was doing ALLLL the cocaine" As Jon said this, a faded image of said drug appeared in the background.

"I bet that they saw a lot of weird shit." Yang stated.

"Yeah, I've seen enough members of White Fang try cocaine to know that this won't end well." Blake said sadly. Many times throughout her time with the terrorist organization, she and Adam had come across other members who tried and got addicted to addictive drugs to get over the stress.

It wasn't a beautiful sight in any imagination of the word.

"And they were like-Hey Steve, we got like, four million of these units to deploy, how do you wanna sell 'em?" Jon spoke for a Japanese man in a business suit who had a mouth that flapped up and down, splitting his head in half whenever he talked. Next to the man was a black game console that said Playstation 3 on the side. There was a moment of silence...Then the man opened his mouth and the background changed to a swirling, rotating rainbow, and musical notes and a pinata came from his mouth.

"That's trippy." Weiss said at the randomness of what they just witnessed.

Suddenly, the shot focused on a blank, white room containing nothing but the PS3 and what appears to be a baby doll. The camera slowly zooms in on said doll, which has it's eyes closed, as ominous music plays in the background. It pans over to the PS3, then focuses on the doll again.

"...what does this have to do with gaming?" Ruby asked as the doll's eyes snap open.

The baby lets out an eerie, robotic coo as it looks at the Playstation. It giggles as it reaches out for it. A caption in yellow words saying "Why." appears onscreen. The baby laughs again and another caption saying "Why would you." appears.

"I...guess that's kind of cute." Weiss said.

The baby laughs again, but this time in the voice of an adult.

"And now it's creepy." Weiss changed her mind, looking slightly disturbed at the whole commercial in general.

The baby's eyes widen and it lets out an eerie croaking squeaky noise. "How could you?" appears in captions. The camera zooms in on the baby's eyes as it tears up. Looking closely, flames can be seen in its eyes.

The four huntress's in training just stared at the screen.

"What the hell is wrong with this commercial?!" Weiss yelled hysterically.

"I don't know!" Yang cried.

"I'm scared Yang." Ruby whimpered as she went into the fetal position right before Yang hugged her to her chest.

"I know baby sis, I am too." Yang said softly. Blake was hugging Zwei to her chest, Zwei was covering his eyes with his ears and whimpering.

"I know, Sony, okay, you need to sell your consoles, but what is this about?!" Jon exclaims. "Oh right! I see! I got your angle with this whole demonic baby thing! You're selling to the promising demographic of ABSOLUTELY NO ONE!"

"Seriously! Who in their right mind would okay this demon infected commercial!?" Weiss demanded.

"And you might THINK that this is their first offense, but I IMPLORE you to check this out!"

The scene focuses on a black and white screenshot of what looks to be a squirrel standing in front of a tree.

"Come out and play!" The squirrel calls out, his eyes having manic swirls in them. Another squirrel peeks out of a treehole. "I can't! I'm playin' Nut!"

There is a brief silence. Then a reddish tint appears on the screen and the camera slowly zooms in on the squirrel as organ music plays.

"This whole situation is plain nuts." Yang stated, getting nods from the others.

"Honestly, for something as big as the PS3, you just need something that'll stick. And stick with us it did! For many a sleepless night!"

The footage shows a man panicking in a bed as a baby crawling on the ceiling of his room rotates it's head 360 degrees to look at him. "NOOOOOOO!" The man screams. "STOOOOOOP!" 'Thanks Sony!' appears in captions.

"I think that we're going to have a few of those as well." Blake solemnly said.

"Yeah, thanks Sony you pricks." Yang said bitterly, knowing that the entire team was in for some rough nights ahead of them.

"Number 5!"

Jon is sitting at his desk, looking at the camera. "I know I'm supposed to be sitting up here being Mr. Commentary Prom Queen King, but how am I supposed to comment on this? Let's take a look at it..."

The scene shows a young boy opening a birthday present, surrounded by his friends. He looks overjoyed when he sees the contents of the wrapping paper.

Yang and Ruby sighed fondly at the scene, remembering the birthday parties they used to have when they were younger.

His mother walks in with the birthday cake, and everyone in the room begins to sing the birthday song. But the boy isn't looking too pleased...

"I have a bad feeling about this." Blake said. And sure enough, things escalated quickly when the boy got to his feet.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" The boy exclaims, making the room go silent. The boy looks at the cake.

"What the FUCK is this?!" He exclaims before slapping the cake out of his mother's hands, sending it crashing to the floor.

The four girls plus dog was stunned silent at the mean spirited action.

"Fuckin' SPONGE CAKE?!" The boy says furiously as his mother looks upset. "FUCK!"

As the boy sits back down, a caption that says 'INSTANT ROCKSTAR' appears onscreen, followed by an image of the game, Jam Sessions.

"What in the actual hell!?" Ruby finally found her voice again. "How can he be so mean and do that to his own mother?! That ungrateful brat should be grateful that he even has a mom that would go out of her way to make a cake for him!" Ruby then started hyperventilating angrily as Blake and Weiss rubbed her back soothingly and Yang took her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze.

After a few minutes, Ruby calmed down and they continued watching the countdown.

Jon is sitting at his desk once more. "Uh, let's see, what was that game rated again? Oh yeah, E10+."

"That just makes it so much worse." Weiss stated.

"Yeah, that's it, I'm done, it's over." The classic Looney Toons fade out screen plays on the screen, focusing on an image of Jacques sitting on a doorframe, the words 'That's all folks' appearing in the middle. Jacques says "That's all folks".

"Thank Oum for that." Blake said, glad that the commercial was over. She quickly looked over to see that Ruby was doing a lot better now that it was over and done with.

"Number 4"

"Long, long ago, before a game console was judged by how much brown and muscles it could simulate, it was judged by the amounts of bits that it had. So the question is...what exactly IS a bit? Well fuck if I know, but if it had more of 'em, OOOOOOH YEEEAH!"

"AAAAAAH YEEEEAH!" Yang yelled.

"If you look back, you can clearly see the evidence of bit importance everywhere. TurboGraffix 16, Nintendo 64...But I mean, we all knew at the core it was all about the software. Everyone but uh...Atari."

"Hey! That's the console I looked at yesterday!" Blake said after seeing the image of the N64 appearing on the screen, remembering that she picked the day they discovered the capsule.

"Really?!" Yang said with excitement. "Maybe we can bring it out sometime and play it."

Ruby's eyes lit up. "That would be so cool!" Ruby exclaimed excitedly. Weiss rolled her eyes.

"I think I would just watch you guys play. Games aren't really my thing." Weiss told them.

Ruby gave her a sad look. "But Weiss, it would be more fun if all four of us play together." Ruby argued. Weiss was about to say no but Ruby's pout made her waver.

"...Fine, but only if the game looks interesting." Weiss said, making a compromise that would make them both happy.

"YAY!" Ruby cheered happily.

The scene cuts to a classroom, apparently 'Video Game Marketing 101' judging by the sign.

"What do you believe your system is the most ADVANCED in the universe?" The teacher says as a man looks a bit baffled. "Let's review the numbers." The scene cuts to a chalkboard as the woman looks over it. "Sega Genesis is 16 Bit. 3DO is 32 bits. The Atari Jaguar is 64 bits! Which is more advanced? CLIFFORD!" She calls on one of her students.

"Oh my Oum, we're not even in a real classroom and I'm already feeling bored." Yang moaned.

"And she's talking like she's talking to children, not the adults that is actually in her class." Blake pointed out.

"Uh, who hired this lady?" Jon asks. "Seriously? THIS was going to move your systems? THIS lady was gonna make people wanna buy an Atari Jaguar?!" An arrow and a question mark appear next to said lady. "No. Nooo!"

"Well, I mean, she must be right, 64 is a bigger number than both 32 AND 16 combined...Lets see what all those bits can do!"

The scene shows an awkward-looking blocky blue car driving in an empty world of brown, a blocky plane flying in an equally blocky room, a very blocky man walking around a cave, a live action puzzle game and some kind of sidescroller.

Yang busted out laughing. "Oh man, these games look like crap!" Yang said as she held her sides as she continued to laugh hysterically.

"Man. Numbers sure are great!"

"Yes, yes they are." Weiss agreed with Jon.

"Speaking of numbers, I wonder what commercial is going to be on number 3?" Ruby wondered. Her question was answered when Jacque appeared on the screen and said "Number 3" in his robotic voice and a scene showing a brown dog sniffing the ground played. Zwei wagged his tail and gave a soft bark at the game dog.

"Let's face it, it's not necessarily that things were BETTER when we were kiddies, it's just that we had less to worry about and everything was about Cheese Nips. I dunno."

"Those look good." Ruby said as she examined the box of cheese nips on screen.

"That said though, there were just some things that were...inherently good, no matter what your age. Two unrelated things as such are Robin Williams and Ocarina of Time."

"Hold on...What's that? What's that off in the distance? What's that on the horizon? Could it be?"

Suddenly, an image of a blonde man with pointy ears wearing a green tunic and the head of a smiling man slowly floated toward each other as inspirational music plays in the background. The two things fuse..and become the elf-like blonde man, with the other man's face.

"That's a weird fusion." Weiss stated.

"Yeah, why does he have a beard when neither of them had a beard beforehand?" Blake wondered.

Gameplay from another game is shown. "The first time I saw you, I knew we'd be linked forever. For you, I'd travel to the four corners of the world. I'd faced adversity. I became a hero."

"I have to say, that narrator sounds amazing." Weiss said as the others nodded in agreement.

"Dad..." A voice interrupts the narrator.

"I wonder who that is." Ruby wondered.

"I saved your kingdom!"

"Dad?" The scene cuts to a young woman, then shortly after to an elderly man with a beard.

"That explains the beard." Yang said out loud.

"Yes, Zelda?" The man replies, turning to face his daughter.

"Are you mixing me up with the princess again?" The woman asks, looking amused and a bit baffled. The man shrugs.

"Hard to say, you're both pretty magical."

"Aww, that's so sweet," Ruby said as she swiped a tear from her eye. "This is so much better than the other commercial." Yang smiled and wrapped her arm around the red haired girl's shoulders.

Suddenly, the image begins to rotate around rapidly as a rainbow background and a caption that says "THIS IS THE BEST THING EVER" appears.

"Wow, Robin Williams and this game must have been very big back in their time." Blake said.

"Number 2" The robotic bird said

"In the current year of 2011, Mario Kart's got so many incarnations they decided to give up and name the newest one Mario Kart 7. ...Good name guys. GG. Regroup next week."

"Maybe if they didn't make so many, it wouldn't have been a problem." Weiss pointed out.

"But it wasn't ALWAYS this way. Who remembers the very FIRST Mario Kart? Yeah. THAT one."

The camera focuses on an SNES with a copy of Super Mario Kart inside it. "What was the first thing that goes through your mind when you think of THAT one? Is it blinding speeds? Is it chaos? Is it epic maneuvers?"

"That would be an epic race." Yang stated, an urge to go drag racing on her sports bike like she did before Beacon.

"No. No, not at all. That one sucks. That's just my opinion, apparently, because this guy thinks it's F-Zero 3150."

"Let's go racing!" The announcer begins over footage of the game. The quality wasn't the best, and the announcer was talking rather quickly, so the girls had to guess what he was saying. "Super Mario Kart Funny Car MADNESS! Only on Super NES! Turn the track into a giant MUD PIT! Or hover on ice! Or on asphalt! It's WILD! Reach out for the big boys! Bowser has been..." At that point it became borderline impossible to decipher him.

"Whoa slow down there, we can barely understand you!" Blake said as the announcer continued his current pace.

"Yoshi's go-kart REALLY GOES! Mushrooms! Banana peels! Turtle shells! DYN-O-MITE! Check your rearview mirror and make a mean test! Or go to battle mode and ruin his day! 2 speeds! Fast and WAY too fast!"

"How is he able to talk that fast and long without breathing?" Ruby asked.

"I didn't even hear him pause long enough to take a quick breath." Weiss observed.

"Either way, he really knows how to get someone bumped to play a racing game." Yang replied.

Suddenly, the screen froze with a pause icon on the upper corner of the screen and the sound of a record scratching.

"Hold on a second...Hold on a second. I'm not lettin' that slide. Let's go back." Jon said before he rewound the clip.

"2 speeds! Fast and WAY too fast!" The announcer said

"Two speeds. Fast. Way too fast...Brilliant."

"Ruby is certainly fast, much faster than the karts we've seen in this commercial." Blake stated. Ruby beamed at the compliment.

The scene cuts to a young boy in a green tunic and hat digging into a treasure chest. He then holds a coin with the number one on it above his head.

"Well that's different." Blake pointed out.

"Doesn't that kid look like that one green guy in the commercial with the man and his daughter?" Weiss asked.

"Hey, you're right!" Ruby exclaimed.

"Maybe their part of the same franchise or something." Yang theorized, getting nods from the others.

"For the last ten years, I've heard people knock Halo for no other discernible reason than the bandwagon effect, and every time I heard the callous argument that it's just a shit overrated game, I thought to myself the exact same thing." Jon is talking over gameplay of a futuristic first person shooter. "Why can't they just...believe?"

"Cause haters gonna hate." Yang said.

"I don't see why they would hate it, it looks so good." Ruby said, watching the gameplay, paying close attention to the armor and weapons.

Suddenly, an image comes zooming in on the screen, depicting a group of soldiers crying.

"Whoa! What happened?! How'd we get here?! How exactly DO you market a game that'll make more money than some small countries do in an entire year? Easy you go 'Oh my God, it's five million dollars, make some shit. And make some shit they did. It's good shit."

The scene shows a series of still images. A man in a green spacesuit taking cover behind a rock. A group of alien creatures getting blown away by an explosion. An African-American soldier staring forward in shocked awe. The still, screaming face of one of the aliens as it's blasted off. A soldier carrying one of his fellow soldiers on his shoulder. One of the aliens holding another soldier over its head, supposedly about to tear them in two. All set to an ominous piano track.

The team just silently drank in the beautiful imagery and music. They couldn't help but appreciate the little details that went into the faces of each soldier's face. While the images were breath taking good, the four young women couldn't help but feel sorry for the soldiers that had looks of suffering on their faces.

"The Halo Believe campaign is my favorite video game marketing campaign of all time, simply because of how much emotion it was filled with and how it made me wanna become...part of the adventure, its genius! It just feels so REAL! Raw! And not to mention, these commercials were just plain beautiful. Y'know I don't really have anything else to say. See ya guys next time! And hey, don't drive fast on the wrong side of the road...it's dangerous." After he said those words, the screen went blank.

"That last one...was certainly something." Yang stated.

"Yeah, some of them were good and the others...not so much." Ruby pointed out, remembering the commercial where the kid cussed out his mother because of sponge cake and how much she hated it.

"No kidding, the people from the past had some weird tastes in commercials." Weiss stated.

"At least they appear to have some real gems in a pile of weird ones." Blake said as the Jontron intro appears onscreen once again.

"Looks like it's time for the next episode." Blake said as they got comfortable, wondering what the video gamer review had in store for them.

"It's been a while." Jon started the review while sitting at his desk. "It's been a while. Now I'm not one to do the whole 'retro review' thing...Cuz, you know, it's a bit overdone on the internet..." Two images of angry looking men [The Irate Gamer and Game Dude] appear onscreen.

"But I DID start off that way, y'know, being inspired by people like James Rolfe and Spoony." Said people pop up onscreen. "...And they kiss." Red lips appear over the mouths of the images, and they move closer together, about to kiss.

Yang snorted in laughter while Ruby blushed. Weiss simply rolled her eyes while Blake continued to watch silently, though there was a small red tint to her cheeks.

"But you know, there's a game from my childhood, y'know, that's always mystified me, and I thought to myself recently, I can't go my whole life without sharing this game with the world."

"I think it's safe to say that maybe three of you watching this even know what the hell I'm about to talk about. So...Y'know, you're probably...happy to see it again, 'cause no one else..."

"Well that leaves us out." Blake pointed out the obvious.

"Probably something really obscure even back then since he said that." Weiss pointed out

"Let's cut the bullshit and chat and get right to it, shall we? All right." Jon said as the camera zooms in before returning to normal. "Jacques! BRING IT DOWN!" A poorly photoshopped photo of a falcon swoops down with a screech, a game cartridge in its talons, and places the cartridge on the table.

"So majestic!" Yang said before wiping a fake tear out of her eye.

"Holy shit. I'm a falcon." Jacques says while on top of the cartridge before flying away without knocking the game down. The girls laughed Jacque's surprise.

Jon grabs the game and holds it in front of the camera. "DINO CITY!"

"Dino...City?" Weiss said carefully, trying to wrap her head around the odd name for a game title.

Yang and Ruby grinned. "Aw Yeah! A game about dinosaurs!" Ruby said in excitement.

"This should be interesting." Blake commented.

The scene changes to show a very nice house with a swimming pool in the backyard, only to show a caption that says "This isn't my backyard.

"Nice house." Weiss quickly commented before Jon started to talk.

"Now, for all I know, this game could have crash landed in my backyard straight from space, 'cause I've never heard of anyone owning it before or since!" The game falls into the scene from space.

"It would be cool to get free games that came from space." Yang stated.

"It would probably be a terrible game that some alien's didn't want." Blake couldn't help but point out, making Yang cringe slightly.

"...Still would be a free game." Yang argued. "If it sucks then we can sell it. Instant profit." Blake looked like she wanted to say something, but stopped herself when she couldn't think of a good arguement.

"Good point." Blake conceded.

"Only one thing left to do! Show you...the game..." Jon says this last part with wide eyes and a low, ominous tone.

"Sounds like serious business." Ruby remarked.

"Now if I could just remember how to play this thing..." Jon thinks to himself. The scene is shown from his point of view, the camera shakey as he holds the game cartridge.

"What is he doing?" Weiss wondered.

Yang shrugs. "I don't know, but I bet it's going to be funny." Yang theorized.

"Uh..." He attempts to place the cartridge on top of a Playstation 3. "No, it's no good on PS3..."

"Not that one." Ruby told the screen.

He is shown attempting to put it in a different console. "It was silly to think it would be on the 2..."

"Or that one." Blake joined in.

He then approaches a computer tower. "Uh, let's go to the PC tray, see what happens..." He places the cartridge down and attempts to close the tray. The cartridge predictably doesn't fit and falls to the ground. "Well that's unfortunate."

"Yes...yes it is." Weiss said, starting to get annoyed.

He then pulls out a small handheld game console. "The DS can usually play games, so..." He attempts to place the cartridge into a small slot at the bottom of the console.

"Oh come on! The cartridge is the same size as that console!" Weiss scolded, her anger starting to rise.

"Oh, here's a done deal, it's the wireless router..." Jon tries to place the game on top of his internet router. "That's not working."

"Yeah...that doesn't look like a gaming console by any stretch of the imagination." Blake pointed out.

"Dishwasher?" Jon asks, placing the game in his dishwasher and closing it. "No."

"...Is he even trying anymore?" Weiss asked.

Blake shrugged.

"Dishwasher?" Jon puts the game in his dishwasher a second time and closes it again. "No."

"Dishwasher?" Jon puts the game in the dishwasher a third time. "Yeah..."

"If it didn't work the first time, then why would you bother doing it multiple times!" Weiss snapped while Yang tried to hide her snicker.

"OH MY GOD, HOW COULD I HAVE BEEN SO STUPID, THE SMBS!" The camera shakes wildly as he pulls a game out of an old looking console.

"Thank Oum!" Weiss threw her arms up in the air, happy that he finally got it right, only for him to insert the game in upside down and begins to sing to himself.

"..." Weiss glared at the screen as Yang finally stopped trying to hide her amusement and started to laugh.

Ruby would have laughed too if she wasn't being crept out by Jon's low tone song.

A screen with the irem logo appears on the screen, with smaller irems filling the screen. "Ah yes, this game was made by Irem. As in... Iremember them! ...Oh wait! No I don't!"

Yang, who had finally stopped laughing at Weiss's anger, started laughing again. "Oh Oum, that pun was amazing!" Yang exclaimed. Blake, Ruby, Weiss, and Zwei couldn't help but agree.

The scene changes and shows two kids standing in a room with a large computer screen with other machines attached to it. "The storyline here is that two wonderfully unique kids Jamie and Timmy [Captions detailing them as uninspired and generic appear onscreen] are dickin' around in their dad's laboratory."

"Is it okay to enter the lab, Jamie asks. Well, it seems a bit too late for that question, doesn't it? Ya know, seeing as you're already standing in the lab?"

"Yes, the proper time to ask that question is right before you enter a place you might not be allowed to enter or when the subject to enter said place comes up." Blake explained.

"Speaking from experience?" Ruby asked.

Blake was silent for a moment. "No comment." Blake replied.

"But much to their dismay, an accidental button press causes them to be sucked into the TV Screen." The screen shows Timmy being sucked into the center of the screen with a terrified expression on his face before a text box replaced the cut scene. "Timmy entered the TV world when he touched his dad's science...device...?" Jon read out loud in disbelieve.

Weiss raised her eye. "Science Device? Really? They couldn't come up with something better? Like Teleportation device or-" Weiss started before Ruby inturrupted.

"Transporter?" Ruby cut Weiss off.

"Exactly." Weiss said, flashed a smile at Ruby.

The video cuts back to Jon sitting in his chair with Jacque on his shoulder, mouthing 'Oh...My...God...' while the letter's 'OMG' appeared on the screen next to his head

The camera zooms in towards 'Science Device' and inserts quotation marks on both ends of the words. "Hmm...If Timmy's dad isn't careful, his 'science device' just might land him ten to twenty years in prison." To illustrate his point, metal bars slides from the left side of the screen and partially covers up the text box.

"I hope the dad has a harmonica." Yang said. "Because he's going to need it."

"So where do the kids get sucked off to, you ask? ...I dunno, Dino City, I guess? Why? How? Who cares? Let's just play this Dino City, bro."

"All right...I'm a boy, I can identify with boys, so...I'll pick the boy! Yeah! Let's play some fuckin' Dino City, bro!" Captions appear that say 'Let us partake in some Dino City. Brother.'

"That's a interesting translation." Weiss said in appreciation.

The gameplay begins. Music composed by what sounds like whistles and Jamaican drums plays as the boy rides a dinosaur that punches enemies. Zwei barked a few times at the anthropomorphic dinosaur.

"Okay, so this is uh... Dino City, I guess... Not so much city, but hey, there's tons of dinos, works for me!"

"Yeah, okay, not too fond of this character's punch, let's try the other one."

"I don't know what your problem is; but I would love to be able to punch Cavemen right in their stupid bearded faces." Yang said, pounding a fist in her open palm.

Jon returns to the character select screen. "...Hmm...How do you get that there other character?" He looks at the silhouetted unlockable characters. "Left and right don't work...Hmm...Up and down don't work either, although I don't see why you'd use that...Oh I know! Select will do the trick!" Jon presses Select, and got no results.

"Looks like he's in a fine pickle right now." Blake observed.

"...No? What. How do you select the god damn character?" The Character selection screen spins around rapidly as Jon tried to figure this out this conundrum. "R? No. L? No. Start? No. B? Y? X? A?" Unlike the other times, the second Jon pressed the A button on the controller, the female characters were highlighted. "A?! The only button you can select the character with is A?! What the fuck?! Why?! A is the least likely button you'd ever think to use in this situation! Should be right or left or select, not A! Okay...Before I get stuck rambling about this, let's just move on."

"Yeah, because you haven't already rambled for a while now about this." Weiss pointed out.

"THIS dinosaur, the...girl one, I guess, is way better 'cause you get a projectile attack instead of that stupid punch."

"Hey! Don't dis the punches!" Yang pouted.

"Man, such a weird game! Pretty good graphics and music and it's got a nice atmospheric feel to it!" Jon said in a weird voice with an image of a older man on the side of the screen, moving his mouth up and down as he talks.

"You have your normal stuff, shoot, jump, make your dinosaur catatonic and use a little girl to freeze shit up! Y'know, your normal stuff!"

"It's normal for Weiss." Ruby stated.

"Well...yes I do suppose that being able to use ice for attacks IS one of my main methods of attacking, but I do use the other elements to my advantage." Weiss explained, feeling the need to defend herself.

"Whatever you say Ice Queen." Yang said dismissively. Weiss glared at Yang's head, pouting a little by being called that nickname.

"Now there's one thing you gotta remember in Dinosity...Red door is in and yellow door is...SO last week."

"I wonder if Coco would have an opinion on door colors." Blake wondered, knowing that Coco was into fashion and whats in or out.

"It's kinda cool, cause this essentially means the game has a branching path sort of thing goin' on. So you can technically experience the game with different ways on different playthroughs. Usually the red door is harder to get to, and sometimes leads you to a bonus stage. Kinda reminds me of Super Mario Land, yeah, I played that one."

"That's a neat way to design a game, letting the character basically choose the difficulty at will." Ruby said with awe.

"Really, though, this game has some damn nice visuals for the Super Nintendo era. I mean, look at this... background changes from day to sunset to night. That's nice! I like that! Thassalright by me!"

"He has a point, the changing time is a nice touch." Blake said, appreciating the effort that the creators of the game made to do something like that.

"And hey, can someone tell me what's the deal with timers that don't actually go by real seconds? In Super Mario Bros, the timer acts like it just did a line of cocaine." The screen shows said game, with the timer going by at a very rapid pace. "And in Dino City, it looks like it just shot up a needle full of heroine!" It shows the Dino City clock ticking by slowly.

"Seems like game timers have a drug problem to me." Yang commented.

"Seems kinda pointless to me. People are accustomed to real seconds, not...schmeconds or whatever these are. Or whatever THESE are..." The screen shows some spiky green fruits.

The girls looked at the image of the fruit in confusion while Zwei tilted his head in puzzlement.

It was Weiss that asked the question that was on everyone's mind. "What...are those?" Weiss asked.

"Maybe they're some kind of fruit like a melon." Ruby guessed.

"Or maybe a nut." Blake added.

"I think that you might be right Blake." Yang said. "They definitely look like they need to be cracked open before eating."

"There are some pretty cool boss battles in this game. Ones with stone pillars..." Said boss is a caveman operating a lever that launches blocks of a stone pillar at the player. "Ones that are quite flamin'..." The boss appears to be a long-necked dino that opens its mouth impossibly wide with a transparent rainbow flag appearing on the screen for a split second. "And some fat birds! I...think...?"

"Heh heh, chubby bird." Ruby giggled at the robust avian.

"That looks like my Uncle Montesque." Jacques says.

"You have an Uncle MONTESQUE?" Jon asks.

"Yes. He died in the pigeon harvester in 2546." Jon stares at Jacques weirdly.

"Oh..." Ruby said sadly, feeling down that the robotic bird's uncle was killed.

Blake briefly wondered what Uncle Montesque tasted like before shaking those thoughts out of her head.

"The enemies in this game, I tell ya, they're somethin' else. They're not even congruid with one another. Bouncy things, gulpy things, red ballerina guys, cavemen, cavegirls..."

The camera focuses on a dancing cavegirl as the music plays. Jon is also shown dancing to the music.

Yang and Ruby quite liked the beat and decided to join Jon in his funny little dance with huge grins on their faces. Blake and Weiss watched in amusement at their antics.

"Okay, so...this part. How do I get down?" Jon is trapped on an icy slope above a spiked enemy. "I can't attack them 'cause I can't get in range... and jumping on them just bounces me back up. What do I do?" Jon falls onto the spiked enemy, taking damage but also killing it and allowing him to progress. "...Oh. Of course. LET MY DINOSAUR FALL ON THEM. Well, at least I fe-" Jon is cut off by the fact that he has fallen into a bottomless pit and died. The camera does an extreme closeup as ominous Latin chanting is heard and the devil fades into the background. The death scene is shown again.

"Ouch, tough break." Weiss said in sympathy.

"What is THIS?!" Jon exclaims, a blue arrow pointing at the characters as they fall into the pit. "What is that?! What is my...?! What is?! GRAAAGH!"

"I can see why he's so flustered, there was no conceivable way that he, or anyone could have known about tat pit beforehand unless they played before." Blake remarked.

"Okay, so it's not hard enough figuring out what the hell to do here, but then there's a pit that's pretty much impossible to avoid right below it?!"

"This game's one of those games where you gotta harvest lives or there's no way you're gonna make it through. So here we go! Got nine lives and I'm gonna get my tenth life!"

Jon fulfills the requirements for an extra life. "Hmm. Still got nine lives there. Nine...? NINE?!"

"So wait, if he said that if he doesn't stock up on a lot of lives he won't make it through and the maximum is 9, doesn't that mean that it'll be impossible for him to beat the game?" Ruby pondered.

"Basically." "Looks like it." "He's boned." "Warf." Weiss, Blake, Yang, and Zwei answered respectively at once.

The scene shows a German man with a moustache repeatedly slamming his hand onto a desk and shouting "Nein! Nein! Nein!", all while the word and number '9' appear onscreen.

"Nine is the maximum life you can get?!" Jon exclaims. "Okay, let's give Dinosity the benefit of the doubt here and say that was a glitch."

Jon collects another extra life. Nothing happens.

"Well that didn't work." Weiss stated.

"Nope. Mm mm. Nawp. Nine is it, that's it."

"Hmm. Iremember why no one remembers Irem. 'Cause they can't program higher than nine!"

Yang snickered at the name pun again.

"How'd they make ALL of this, but they can't higher than THIS?!" The number nine is shown onscreen.

"But Jon, 9 is the only number you need." Yang said in a creepy whisper.

"Yang stop that, it's creepy!" Ruby begged, shuddering at the creepiness of Yang's tone and words. Blake and Weiss nodded in agreement with cringes, making Yang pout.

"You guys are no fun." Yang moaned.

An image is shown of a screaming man standing in water, rapidly cutting back to the same image in the background as Jon spews gibberish and the words 'MENTAL BREAKDOWN' appears onscreen.

"Guess what. This is fun. I'll be better obscure company and let it slide."

Jon is killed by getting hit by a flying enemy on what appears to be a roller coaster made of skulls.

"Alas poor Jon, we knew him so well." Blake quoted, taking off her bow and clenched it to her chest.

"R.I.P." Ruby added solemnly.

"Oh, damn it, I died, it would have been helpful in this case if it counted those little lives I got, 'cause it's so hard to get them in the first place. Now I'm down to..." He seems to have nine lives still "N-Nine...?"

"Are...we missing something?" Weiss asked, not knowing what was going on.

"Have I broken the game?" Jon asked in bewilderment. "Did they not even think anyone would GET this many lives?"

Jon is shown dying again. "Ah shit!" He respawns and is down to eight lives. "Oh! Oh NOW I'm down to eight! So the game was COUNTING my lives, but it just didn't SHOW it!"

"Maybe the game makers made a mistake or they weren't able to program it beyond 9." Ruby said in defense of the Irem corporation.

"Or they got lazy." Yang offered.

"I'd believe either one." Blake stated.

"OK NO YEA OK NO THASSFINE! NOTHING WRONG THERE! I DON'T SEE! IDON'TSEEANYTHINGWRONGTHERE!" He says.

Jon is shown putting the game in the dishwasher again. "Dishwasher? YES."

"Maybe that's the best place for it." Weiss said.

"Okay...Moving on... So, here's the obligatory castle level. Yeah, you saw it comin'. 'Cause what's a Dino CITY without a Dino CASTLE?!"

"Oh look, it's the king of Dino City!" Jon is fighting a large blue dinosaur with a blue jacket and red underbelly. "More like the king of fuckin' around! Look at this guy, he doesn't even consider us a threat! He's got his hands in his freakin' POCKETS!" Indeed, the dinosaur has his hands in the pockets of his jacket.

"Wow, get a load of Mr. Gives-No-Shit over there." Yang said mockingly.

"You know what? I RESPECT this dino! He couldn't give a shit about two corn cobs! In fact he's SOOO sly and handsome, that he even changes his jackets mid-fight!" The dino teleports and now has a grey jacket rather than a blue one.

"I know that doing that is kind of insulting towards the player, but you have to admit that being able to teleport like that and appear again with different cloths on is coll." Ruby admitted.

"You said it Rubes, I can already tell that Coco would love to be able to do that too." Yang stated.

"How much of a less of a shit could ya give about your life? That's like if Bowser was like 'Aw, Mario, ya got me. I just need a new tie, ya like?" The scene shows a giant turtle dragon fighting a short red plumber in a hover car. Said plumber tossed a small metal turtle at said creature, damaging him. As he recovers, a blue neck tie is pasted on his chest.

"I don't give a shit, here's some bowling balls." The car flips over and drops a giant black ball onto the stage that rolls forward.

"Let's hope that he rolls a gutter ball." Yang jokingly said. "But I could easily punch that pebble into pieces."

"And THAT ends the game. WHOO! Look at those effects!" The dinosaur king floats up, stretches and fades away. "MOOOODE7!"

"I can't even imagine how painful it would be to be stretched like that as you died." Weiss commented grimly. All four of them took a moment to imagine what it would be like to get stretched before shaking those disturbing thoughts off.

"So this birdie comes and grabs that McMuffin, and flies out the super castle! ...We were in a super castle...? Ok..."

"That looks more like a tower then a castle." Blake pointed out.

"So now we're back SOMEWHERE, where Forry informs us that we've got the fuse box and we've saved the world! Hurrah!"

"Maybe someday we'll save the world from people like Roman and the Grimm." Blake said with a hopeful tone.

"That would be awesome!" Ruby exclaimed, throwing her arms up in excitement.

"Yeah...Team RWBY, the Savoirs of the world." Yang said dreamily, already hearing the crowds chanting their names.

"That...sounds nice." Weiss said with a small smile.

"WAIT A MINUTE! Who the FUCK is FORRY?!"

"Maybe he's another relative of Jacques." Ruby

"Can we go back to the real world now, asks Jamie.

"Yes! We can! Dont't worry anymore!" Indeed, there is a spelling mistake.

"Looks like an oversight on their part." Blake observed.

"Oh, don't worry, Forry! I wont't!"

"Look at these exclamation marks!" Said exclamation marks are slanted. "It's like they're caught in a freakin' hurricane!" A car and a cow blow past the screen. "Just cracks me up!"

"His comment really...blew me away." Yang joked, a massive grin on her face and looking at the others expectedly. Her three partners groaned while Zwei shook his head rapidly.

"...I'll take that as a "We don't like your hilarious pun Yang." Yang said with a sour looking face as she turned towards the screen with a pout.

The screen focuses on the kids in front of a blue background. The girl puts on a pair of glasses. "Wait...WAIT. Who's that?!" The camera zooms in on the girl. "THAT'S what the girl looked like this whole time?!" A comparison is shown between the image and the girl's sprite.

"It might be because the system it was on didn't allow it." Ruby theorized.

"Or again, they were too lazy to put the details into their sprites." Yang decided to but her two cents in.

"In fact...In fact, yeah, NEITHER of these kids look remotely like their in-game sprites! Look at the difference!"

"And here's somethin' that I just love in the old SNES Games, when they show the enemies and their names at the end. You didn't know their names before, so now this comes along and shatters your reality." A caption appeared next to the Fire enemy, saying 'That's some creativity right there.'

"I agree, some of those names aren't exactly unique." Weiss observed.

"What was that? Eh?" The camera shows Jon interacting with the fat birds from earlier. "That's Mr. Squishy or some shit. Bouncalicious? Who cares, I dunno."

"Oh, but no, I'm sorry, you were wrong. That's TRAMPO. Didn't know? Great."

"Oh I get it!" Yang eyes brightened. "It's short for TRAMPOline because the player jumps on them." Yang explained her findings.

"Okay, that's kind of a good name for it I quess." Weiss admitted.

"Oh, what about Spread and Cindy? Yeah. That was Cindy in case you didn't know! More like Cindy Spreads...her legs...I got nothin'."

"I think we can all agree that that joke wasn't funny in the slightest." Yang said, getting nods from the others.

"At least he kind of admitted that it wasn't all that funny." Weiss stated

"Di-No City!" Jon exclaims, looking down at the game cartridge. "Dinosity, yeah. THAT just happened. And I'm one of the one and a half people that will ever talk about that game, but..." And then he mumbled something incoherent.

"Now, I DO rather like it, and I wish...I WISH this game was inspired by just PURE inspiration and nothing else, and I hate to spoil the magic for you, but this was actually based off, like, some crappy movie called 'Adventures in Dinosaur City...' Yeah, don't you wish you could unknow that?"

"Oh Oum that looks horrible!" Ruby said as clips of the movie played for a few splits seconds, not impressing them at all.

"If we end up finding that in the capsule, I vote that we skip it." Blake decided to put it to a vote. "Who's with me?"

The three young women raised their hands, making it unanimous about their thoughts on the movie based on the short clips they saw.

"Undoubtedly, this game is WAY better than the movie, and you know what?" Music plays in the background. "I rather like it. Y'know...I'm glad I could have finally shared this game with everyone."

"What's going on? What's with the music?" Ruby quickly asked.

"Is he...about to do what I think he's about to do?" Blake question with uncertainty.

Weiss eyes widen as she sensed what was about to happen. "I think so." Weiss answered.

Yang, however, smirked. "This should be good."

"Do you ever feel, like a plastic bag, driftin' through the wind, wanting to start again..." Jon sings as he gets out of his seat and walks towards the doorway.

"Do you ever feel, feel so paper thin, like a house of cards, one blow from cavin' in?" Jon sings as he puts Jacques back in his cage.

"Do you ever feel, already buried deep, six feet under screaming, no one seems to hear a thing?" Jon sings as he drinks a glass of water, oddly being able to sing perfectly even though there was liquid in his mouth.

"Wait, how is he able to sing while drinking like that?" Yang wondered out loud. Weiss's eyes widened and lit up.

"Oh, I guess this was prerecorded." Weiss answered in understanding.

"What do you mean by that Weiss?" Ruby questioned her teammate.

"What I mean is that some singers prerecord themselves singing and plays it for live performances while lip-syncing to the singing." Weiss explained.

"Isn't that dishonest?" Blake asked the white haired girl, making her nervous.

"Well...yes, but sometimes it's unavoidable." Weiss told them. "Some singers practice so hard that they end up damaging their vocal cords so they have to use their recordings at their concerts to avoid losing money for refunds. And some others do it because their not that comfortable singing in front of people." Weiss finished explaining before her eyebrows knitted together.

"Though that begs the question on why he's doing that here, considering that his videos looks like their edited.

"Maybe he's poking fun at that practice." Yang guessed.

"Perhaps." Weiss shrugged.

"Do you know that there's, still a chance for you, there's a spark in you?" Jon sings as he puts on a pair of sunglasses and walks out the door.

"You just gotta ignite...the light...and let it shine...Just own...the night...Like the fourth of July!" Jon sings as he walks along a cliffside overlooking the ocean.

"He sings surprisingly well." Blake couldn't but remark, finding his singing relaxing.

"Yeah, I wouldn't of thought he was a good singer just by looking at him." Ruby stated.

"'Cause baby you're a firework!" Jon sings as he stops by the edge of the cliff, firework sparks exploding out of his chest.

"Okay, that's pretty cool!" Yang said, imagining surprising enemies by shooting sparks out of her chest.

"Yeah, but your clothes would probably catch on fire if anyone was able to do that." Ruby commented, dampening Yang's fun with her logic.

"Right..." Yang said sadly as she slumped forward.

Zwei stood up and barked happily while his tail wagged intensely, remembering when the crazy man that smelled of coffee set him on fire and send him flying towards the animal people like one of those fireworks. Those were some good times.

"Come on show them what you're worth!" The camera panes along the coastline.

"Make 'em go ah! Ah! Ah!" Jon sings, the firework visible below his chin.

"As you shoot across the sky-eye-eye!" Jon sings as the camera zooms away from the cliffside.

"Cause baby you're a firework!" Jon sings, throwing his arms up as the girls were treated to a beautiful sights of the ocean and faraway land.

"That's beautiful!" Weiss said as she appreciated the view.

"That water looks so blue and crystal clear." Ruby said in awe, feeling the urge to go swimming right now.

"Come on let your colours burst! Make 'em go ah! Aoh! OOH! Dino City is a ga-a-ame!" He sings as he walks along the cliffside before stopping and looking down at the ocean.

Before the video ends, he turns to look at the camera, and an odd sound effect is heard as the video freezes, the words 'Death comes to us all' appearing in blood red letters over Jon.

"Okay that was unexpected and random." Blake quickly said, jumping slightly at the odd sound effect.

"But at least the song was good." Ruby said, Zwei barking in agreement.

The theme song plays for a third time before the next episode begins.

"Here we go again." Yang said with a smirk after the theme song ended. "I wonder what he's going to show us next?"

Jon is shown looking over his neighbourhood. He smiles.

"Ah. What perfection. What a BEAUTIFUL day, wouldn't ya say, Rockington?" He said before looking over to the left, the camera showing a nice tiled walkway.

"Um...who's Rockington?" Ruby asked, not remembering Jon ever mentioning anyone by that name in the two videos they've seen so far.

"Maybe he was introduced in another video." Blake pointed out.

"Oh yeah, that makes sense." Ruby said with a nod.

"Oh yeah. Yeah, I lost Rockington. I LOST A ROCK!"

"Well that answers that question." Yang said.

The camera pans up to space, where what looks like a game disc is flying around. The camera pans over to the Earth, where a game box depicting a bear in yellow shorts crossing his arms and holding a wrench, a red bird peeking out of his blue backpack and what looks like a witch with a head capsule, is floating above the planet. The game disc crashes into the case, sending it spiralling down to Earth.

For a moment, the members of Team RWBY could have sworn that they heard the pained and angry yells of thousands of pissed off people when the game box was shown.

Ruby looked around the room in worry. "Guys...did you just hear-" Ruby started to asked,

"The cries of thousands of angry fanboys out for blood?" Weiss interrupted Ruby. "Yeah, I did."

"That's weird, I heard that too." Yang answered.

"Me too." Blake said, worry etched on her face. Zwei whimpered, showing them that he heard it as well.

For some reason, the five could tell that they were in for a ride.

The scene changes to show Jon standing in the same exact spot that he was in earlier. "Well, I do believe I've forgotten why I'm standing here!" Jon said cheerfully. "Guess I'll go back inside."

Jon turns to go back inside, and the camera focuses on the game falling from the sky. Jon walks for his door in slow motion, and the game is shown falling again. Cut back to Jon walking, only to be caught off guard by what appears to be a meteor slamming into the ground nearby and exploding, barely missing him as he leaps out of the way.

"Huh...I guess he wasn't kidding when he mentioned games from space in the previous review." Blake said.

"You could say that the games are...out of this world." Yang made yet another horrible pun.

"Oum damn it Yang." Weiss said as she face palmed as the others groaned.

Jon continues ranting to Jacques about how he wanted to play the game when the camera focuses on a copy of Donkey Kong Country, peaceful music playing in the background.

"Hey. Check it out." Jon says. "It's Donkey Kong Country." He picks the game up. "Man, this game really takes me back. As far as I can remember!"

Yang started to make noises with her mouth, playing the tune associated with when people have flashbacks. And sure enough, the scene transitions and shows a bookshelf filled with binders and VHS tapes, then to a hand holding the SNES Cartridge.

"It was the early 90s. You just got your hands on this crazy new game. Donkey Kong Country. With sweet revolutionary 3D rendered graphics." Gameplay of Diddy Kong riding Enguarde the swordfish while Donkey Kong swims behind is shown.

"I have to admit, the game graphics look decent enough." The Schnee Heiress admitted.

"And who would hate a game that has primates riding a swordfish of all things." Ruby added.

"Who could forget the fond memories of snapping these games into our Super Nintendos, hearing that familiar click and hittin' the on button...and there, in the dead silence of night with your blanket enveloping you in a heavenly shroud of comfort, you heard that euphoric jingle for the very first time?"

This brought nostalgic smiles to Yang's and Ruby's faces as they remembered the times when they were young and they would stay up way past their bed time to play video games that they just got.

A TV is shown displaying a logo as a triumphant jingle plays.

"From that moment on it was clear...It was obvious, it went without saying! You didn't PLAY Rareware, you LIVED it." Gameplay is shown of DK and Diddy exploring a rainy jungle.

'Interesting name for a game company.' Blake thought to herself.

"Enter that golden era of video games unlike anything the world had ever SEEN!" The N64 is shown.

"Stunning new graphics!" A racing game is shown, depicting futuristic hover cars driving at fast speeds.

"I wouldn't mind racing in one of those beauties." Yang said as she seductively growled at the thought of being behind the wheel of a hover racing car.

"Huh, so they had the idea of hover cars all the way back then. And here we are, who knows how many years later after they were gone, and we still don't haven't figured out how to build them." Blake remarked.

"New ways to play!" Game play of Mario exploring Bob-Omb Battlefield is shown.

"And a race to see who could make the best looking and most game-changing software!" The Playstation is shown.

"It was truly the wild west, and leading the helm was Rareware. In their early days, they were known for such games as Battletoads and Wizards and Warriors."

"That's quite a achievement." Weiss said. Even she could appreciate the level that the video game company was able to get to.

"I know, I just hope that we get a chance to play some of their games." Ruby hoped, praying to any deity that was listening and hoping that they will grant her wish.

"We might, the system that he keeps talking about IS in the capsule. So it wouldn't be too farfetched for some of Rareware's games to be in there with it." Blake told the younger girl.

Ruby squealed in delight, planning on rummaging through the time capsule the second the video is over to find the system and games.

"But they didn't hit critical acclaim until they became a second party developer for Nintendo and rocked the world with their Donkey Kong Country line of games. Gaming would never again be the same! It was no longer about your high score, it was about the adventure! And Rare knew this, they knew it better than the rest of us!"

"And that's when things got crazy!"

"This oughta be good." Yang remarked as game cartridge after game cartridge appeared on screen.

"Donkey Kong Country 2: Diddy's Kong Quest and Donkey Kong Country 3: Dixie Kong's Double Trouble! Diddy Kong Racing, Blast Corps, Killer Instinct, Goldeneye 007, Donkey Kong 64, Perfect Dark, and Conker's Bad Fur Day...Oh my God!" Jon had begun to get emotional when he got to Conker's Bad Fur Day, making it difficult to decipher him. "Oh, so many good games!" He sobbed.

"Okay man, you need to relax before he have a heart attack." Yang told the screen while the others nodded.

"That's the thing that was so...seriously, no pun intended, rare about Rareware. It's that they were like the Beatles of video games!"

Ruby, Weiss, Blake, and Zwei turned to look at Yang, whose face was scrunched up. She raised her right hand tilted it side to side, giving the pun a 'So-So' rating.

"They could take on seemingly ANY genre of gaming and set the bar while they were at it."

"And again, that's impressive." Weiss repeated herself.

"Their lineup from the early 90s to the year 2000 was something I can only describe as 'Oh. It's sublime. Sublime. It'sgooooooood!"

"Buuut we're forgetting someone aren't we...aren't we?" A question mark appears over a black, smoky background.

'I wonder who he's forgetting about?' Ruby and gang wondered.

As they mentally asked themselves that question, the scene changed to a woodsy area with a waterfall in the background. Standing in said area was a goofy looking bear standing on its hind legs wearing yellow shorts with a black belt, a necklace with what looks like a tooth attached to it, and blue backpack on his back.

"Well hello there!" Yang said with wide eyes, clearly surprise about the sudden bear appearance.

"I'm guessing this is the game that came long before the one that Jon got." Blake took a wild guess based on how the footage looks compared to the game case of the Nuts and Bolts game.

"That's an interesting design." Weiss chipped in.

Ruby was the only one that stayed silent, drinking in the colorful environment and character. She instantly fell in love with the game.

"That's right, you didn't think I could possibly overlook Banjo-Kazooie, did you? I mean, look at the...Look at the title of the video!" The scene blurs as Banjo takes out...well a banjo and plays it as a hand appears, pointing at the top left corner. "...Was probably gonna mention it."

"What's so great about Banjo-Kazooie, you ask, huh? Well I'm just not even sure I can put it into words! But I sure as hell can try." Snippets of gameplay was shown, including Banjo and Kazooie running around in an open area and fighting a giant carrot. The scene changes to a grubby door with a creepy doorknocker that opens to reveal the back of a short, fat green person wearing a witches outfit and a purple stripped scarf waving their hands over something the team couldn't see.

"Did that bear have a bird in the book bag?" Weiss questioned. "While fighting a carrot with big eyes?"

"I think so." Weiss answered.

The screen depicts a sprite of Red from Pokemon looking over a beautiful misty shoreline.

"Ever just looked across a misty shoreline? Gazed over beyond the horizon and said to yourself 'What if?' ...There ya go. No further explanation, do you clari- doyouwmummm...Do you need clar-"

"Clarification?" Blake finished for him.

"EVERY single part of the game was packed to the brim with originality and content. Sure, it WAS a collectathon, if you will, but I still don't get why this is considered a derogatory thing when referring to games. Yes, it IS a game where you collect things, but the game is built around it, so it's fine."

"And it looks amazing." Ruby said in a daze, completely enamored by the game.

"Each collectable is ingeniously hidden within different parts of the level, and the best part about finding them is you have to survey the landscape and locate them by the seed of your own wit!"

"Pfft, that'll be a cake walk." Yang said arrongantly.

"Maybe for me or Blake, but for you and Ruby, I'll probably take weeks for you two to find everything you witless dinguses." Weiss told Yang.

"HEY!" Yang and Ruby yelled indigently while Weiss and Blake smirked and high fived.

"There's no waypoints. Kay, it's not like..." Jon made a radio sound effect before an image of Banjo's head photoshopped over a soldier's body popped up onscreen in front of a black, flaming background. "Bravo, team! Bear and Bird! Meet us at Alpha Point!"

"There's none of that."

"That's sad, I would have liked to play one of those games." Yang said sadly.

"And of course it must be said that Banjo-Kazooie had a freakin' awesome sequel called Banjo-Tooie!"

Awesome!" Ruby excitedly exclaimed, happy to know that she could potentially play both games if they had them.

"It's pretty dang rare...Heheh, there it is again... When you're graced with a sequel that quality and size."

"Again, the pun was meh." Yang commented dismissively.

"LIke you would have done any better." Weiss challenged, receiving a ditry look from the blonde bombshell.

"Do I need to threaten you with PUNishment again?" Yang asked the white haired heiress.

"No!" Weiss said quickly, remembering the fate worse than death that awaits her if she continues to aggravate Yang.

"But then...Something terrible happened. A misstep on the stairway to glory. In the year 2002, Rareware in its entirety was purchased...by Microsoft corporation."

"Ominous." Blake stated with a shiver while Ruby whimpered.

"Please don't hurt the cute game" Ruby begged the intangible, and currently nonexistent company.

"They started making games like Grabbed by the Ghoulies, Perfect Dark Zero and Kameo: Elements of Power. And...it's fuzzy...but I could swear that I remember something else...Something FAR more sinister."

"...Nooooooooo." Ruby whined almost inaudibly, dreading what was to come next.

"Well if we can't play the new one, JACQUES," Jon says the parrot's name in an accusatory tone. "Then I guess we might as well just play the old one. It's the next best thing."

Jon places the game in his N64, but it doesn't go in all the way. "Agh!" He grunts before pressing it in. When he does this, the game starts to crackle with electricity as ominous music plays in the background.

"That...doesn't sound good." Blake said.

"Not at all." Weiss added.

The electricity moves to the carpet, creating a tornado that envelops the ruined pieces of the game and reforms them perfectly. The case falls to the floor.

"Okay, that's pretty badass." Yang remarked as the others gaped at the now fully repaired game.

"But how?! It was completely destroyed!" Weiss stated in shock.

"Something spooky this way comes." Ruby said, slightly shaken up.

As another ominous tune plays in the background, Jon's eyes widen when he sees the repaired game. He quickly moves over and picks it up, looking over at Jacques as he clutches it protectively.

"Jon...Stand back." Jacques fires another laser at the game.

"Well here we go again." Blake said, fully prepared for the outcome to be the same as last time. But what the Cat Faunus wasn't prepared for, however, was for Jon to pull out a mirror and reflect the shot right back at his parrot, causing him to spontaneously combust.

The girls stares at the screen, flabbergasted.

"NOOOOOOOO!" Ruby wailed in anguish at fate of the downed robot avian while Zwei howled.

"He was too young to die!" Yang cried,

"And THAT'S how ya skin a cat!" Jon says with a smile, offending Blake slightly at the expression he said. "...Bird...I don't care, let's play the game already."

Jon slowly opens the cartridge...But the second he does so, an eerie choir plays as the screen blurs ominously and a skull laughing evilly and surrounded by hellfire appears in front of the case.

"Okay, at this point I think that we can all agree...that game is evil." Weiss told them, getting nods from the other three and dog.

Jon's eyes bug out in horror as he stares at the sight before him.

Suddenly, the game moves itself out of the case and into Jon's Xbox.

"Yup, definitely evil." Ruby said, reaffirming her views on the game.

On the TV, the head of a witch appears. "Listened to your feathered friend you should have, now you must play this game, that's quite bad. From that seat you'll never jolt, until you're done with Nuts and Bolts!" The witch's voice is gibberish, with subtitles translating what she's saying.

"And now there's a green witch that speaks in rhyme, how can this be any more demonic?" Blake asked.

The witch disappears, and Jon stares down at his wrists as shackles magically appear over them.

Jon looks around in terror before struggling against his restraints. But when he does so, he is electrocuted and forced to give up.

"Maybe with magic shackles that's keeping him from not playing the game maybe?" Yang asked. "As long as the witch doesn't try anything kinky, we should be fine." Blake, Weiss, and Ruby gagged at the image of a overweight green witch doing inappropriate things to Jon.

"YANG! GROSS!" Ruby cried out as the image stated to destroy her innocence.

"Banjo-...Kazooie Nuts & Bolts? But...I'm su..." Jon's voice catches in his throat as he comes to a horrible realization.

"...Oh nooo..." He says quietly. "...OOOOOOOOH NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" He yells this time. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" A shot of the planet is seen, signifying everyone around the world can hear Jon's yell.

"He had quite the lungs." Weiss couldn't help but point out.

"Jacques, I'm sorry man!" Jon exclaims. "I didn't realize!"

"Please register me." Jacques' ashes reply.

"Okay I know that he's a robotic bird and all that, BUT HOW THE HELL IS HE STILL FUNCTIONING AFTER BEING TURNED TO ASHES?!" Yang yelled, not seeing how that would be possible at all. It was beyond Yang's understanding.

"Well he did say earlier that he was omnipresent, so maybe that's how he's still conscious while his body is...you know." Blake explained her theory.

"Maybe, but still..." Yang said.

"I guess there's only one thing to do now..." Jon grabs his controller.

"LETS PLAY SOME VIDEO GAMES!" Ruby yelled, feeling pumped up.

"Well...Here it is..." Jon says in a defeated tone. "Banjo-Kazooie: Nuts & Bolts. It's sort of a bittersweet feeling...Seeing the Rareware logo again after all these years..."

The title screen is shown with a laid-back little banjo tune.

"That sounds very nice." Weiss said, closing her eyes and letting the music flood her ears.

"Meh, not enough rock." Yang bluntly stated, ruining the relaxed mood Weiss was in.

"There goes that." Weiss bitterly mumbled, crossing her arms over her chest as she glared daggers at Yang.

"You hear that jingle right there? That's the stuff I haven't... And look! It's Spiral Mountain! Good to see you again...old friend. ...Mountains can't be friends..."

"You could be friends with mountains...but you might have something horribly wrong with you though." Blake pointed out.

"So we're met with the familiar menu screen, but it's a little different than before. For starters, looks like Banjo's become a bit of a hoarder, huh?" The camera focuses on the pile of old stuff in Banjo's house.

"Wow, he's right on the money with that one." Yang remarked.

"I guess those are all the XBoxes he had that Red Ringed."

"I wonder what he means by that?" Ruby asked.

"Maybe it shows that something is wrong with the system?" Blake guessed.

"Whoa! They're all about to topple over!" Indeed, the pile of consoles appears to be shaking. "But they never dooooo!"

"So, let's do the deed and start up the single player campaign." Jon does so and jigsaw pieces cover the screen before a computer floats in front of the camera, a short beatbox-like tune playing in the background. "Huh. Is that Battletoads in the background?"

The screen cuts to an old 8-bit game with a similar tune playing. "Eh. Nice touch."

"That looks like my kind of game." Yang said as she watched a giant toad beating up red monsters.

"It does." Weiss agreed.

"So the game starts off with a bit of a retrospective. It tells the tale of Banjo, Kazooie and Gruntilda, and shows the games thatt came before."

"-Overcoming many perils and speech impediments to send Gruntilda tumbling to her doom." The narrator says as Gruntilda falls from her castle, plows into the ground hard enough to make a hole in the shape of her body and gets crushed by a boulder. The screen then shows the Gruntilda hole from previously covered up by construction equipment.

"What a way to go." Blake said with sympathy, not wanting to go through the pain of falling from a high height and then being crushed by a boulder.

The screen then focuses on a radio playing an upbeat tune. "Oh. Conker's Bad Fur Day music. WE GET IT, RAREWARE! You used to be cool. Get...Can we get on with it? STOP! STOP IT! STOP TAUNTING ME!"

"Yeah, that's not nice!" Ruby said with a pout, being on Jon's side.

The screen shows that Banjo and Kazooie have become extremely overweight. "Oh geez. Oh darn it. They got fat."

Ruby's eyes widened in horror as, in her mind, the image of what they used to look like that the Team saw earlier was replaced by...that image that was on screen. Needless to say, Ruby was being traumatized.

"So this, uh, radio player tells Banjo and Kazooie that it's been ten years since they were invented and that they're all fat and washed up. Yep! Can you feel that? Can you feel it?" The screen shows a hand hovering over the word 'Irony'.

"Ha! This kinda reminds me of the opening of Conker's Bad Fur Day. Except instead of being funny, it's just Banjo telling us over and over that he should have ordered a small pizza. I'm...I'm fucking serious. Look at this shit." He shows the many times Banjo makes the same complaint.

"Maybe instead of saying that you "should have ordered a small pizza", you should hit a gym or something. Maybe do a sit-up or push up every now and again." Yang told the duo on screen.

"We get it. Yes, yeah, okay, okay, small pizza. WHY YOU ALWAYS BE TELLIN' ME THIS?!"

"Oooooohm. I'm in da treesh." The screen shows just that, Banjo in a dumbster. "How did I get there?"

"This game should go in the trash." Ruby said bitterly.

"So they meet up with Grunty again..." The screen shows Banjo and Kazooie interacting with Gruntilda's disembodied skeletal head.

"Wow, I guess she couldn't...get aHEAD in live." Yang joked.

"She obviously seen better days." Weiss commented, to use to Yang's pun at this point to really care. The others groaned.

"And it's just like old times." Banjo and Kazooie and Grunty glare at each other. "Oh shit! Here we go!" They both jump forward to attack...When the game pauses itself. "Dafaq? I didn't pause! I didn't fuckin' pause the game in unfiltered comic sans!"

"Maybe whatever evil spirit that's inhabiting the game did it." Blake said.

"Yeah, for the lolz." Yang added.

"Oh. I guess it was Tweedle Dumb over here that did it." A finger points at a computer wearing a purple robe. "So this guy calls himself the Lord of Games, or uh, L.O.G. Yeah. This game reminds ME of some certain kinds of logs."

Yang snorted, already guessing which type of log that he was talking about.

"LIKE THESE ONES!" Jon screams as a psychedelic screen with spinning logs on it is shown.

"Oh..." Yang said, deflating slightly at being wrong.

"...You thought he was talking about poop, weren't you? Ruby asked her sister with a deadpan expression.

"...Maybe." Yang answered hesitantly.

Weiss rolled her eyes. "Get you head out of the gutter." Weiss reprimanded the blonde.

"Don't you mean pipes?" Blake asked Weiss.

"Same dif." Weiss told her dismissively.

"Your name is odd and you look a bit queer?!" Jon says, reading in-game text said by Gruntilda.

"You gotta understand...She's from a different era."

"Yeah, you know how the old folks can be with their outdated views." Yang said.

"Wish that racism would become outdated." Blake said sadly, getting a sympathetic pat on the pack by Yang and a nose nuzzle from Zwei.

"Man, this sure does follow up on the spirit of Banjo-Kazooie games subtly breaking the fourth wall. IF you spell 'Subtly' like THIS." The word 'subtly' is suddenly red, glowing and placed over a black background with flames at the bottom. An explosion occurs, all while epic music plays in the background.

"AWW YEAH! SCREW SUBTLY!" Yang yelled, pumping her fist up in excitement. Weiss and Blake rolled their eyes at her statement, knowing that 'subtly' wasn't one of her stronger points.

"Now then, in line with Banjo tradition, your challenge will consist of collecting as many pointless objects as possible?" There is a record scratch.

"Whoa whoa WHOA! You just hold on a second!"

"Yeah, you can't just insult the way that the previous games were like back then like that!" Ruby said indignantly.

The screen shows Banjo running forward and picking up square shaped coins. "Hahahahahahahahaha! Get it?! Because Banjo-Kazooie was TOTALLY THIS TEDIOUS! HOLY SHIT!"

"No no no, it's too painful to watch, hey, you got that part right. Gamers today don't want all this. They just want to SHOOT THINGS? But as we're broadening the demographic, I'll have to think of something original."

"I would love to play a shooter up game right about now." Yang said longingly, her desire to play a shooter game igniting ever since the ending of the commercials video.

"Something original, huh? Broadening the demographic? All right. I'll bite. What EXACTLY did you guys have in mind?"

The screen shows various shots of Banjo driving different vehicles.

"Cars...?" Jon whimpers.

"CARS?" Jon says in shocked anger.

"CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARS?!" Jon roars furiously.

And then he sang again. "AND IIIIIIIIIII, HOLY SHIT! WILL ALWAYS LOOOOVE YOU, I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DID THIS TO ME, GOD DAMN IT, HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?!"

"I feel your pain Jon...I feel your pain." Ruby said as she sniffled and her eyes start to tear up.

"I would venture a guess and say that this game wasn't well received." Blake stated the obvious.

"I can sit and be shoveled shit aaaaaall day, but no one...no one can tell me that anyone, anywhere thought that this was an okay thing to do!" Jon said. "Why? Why would you take a fucking BANJO-KAZOOIE game? One that we've been wait for years...and make it...about fucking Lego CARS?!"

"Wait, what's Le-"

"YOU BASTARDS!" Ruby interrupted Blake's question, who gave the young leader the stink eyes for interrupting her.

"heh heh heh, sorry." Ruby nervously apologized

"No...I must calm myself...Let me go ahead and try to explain this, how do you say, very well justified rage?"

"Finally, some answers." Weiss said, wondering what Jon's beef with the game was.

"Let's go back to the roots of the problem." Banjo-Kazooie's game cartridge appears over a blue screen. "And maybe, if you don't already see it the way I do, you might just change your mind."

"Flashback to the year 2000! You just beat Banjo-Tooie, and you hear Gruntilda say those beautiful words...You just wait until Banjo-Threeie!" The camera focuses on Gruntilda saying just that.

"Flash forward to late 2006! Six whole years after the release of Banjo-Tooie! Fans of the series were graced with something WONDERFUL to hold onto! Something that made the coming years look brighter than ever! A real, next-gen Banjo-Kazooie game!" A beta trailer for the cancelled Banjo-Threeie is shown. "Our secret wishes were finally realized! We were once again privileged to experience that lost genre of video gaming's adolescenes! A new big-budget 3D platforming game! Banjo's COMIN' BACK, baby, and we were happier than ever..."

"I can understand their joy, it's a absolute hell for gamers to have to wait that long before they get even a little bit of info about the next installment." Yang said, remembering the euphoria she felt when the sequel of a fighting game she liked was finally announced after four years.

"Only...Do ya see anything wrong here?" The camera focuses on the commercial from earlier. "I don't know about you, but I don't see any CAAAAARS!"

"Well that explains why he hates it so much." Blake stated.

"Or boats! Or planes! All I see is the promise of something so b-b-" Jon begins to sob. "It's so beautiful...Oh...Oh God, I can't stand to look at it anymore..."

"Don't worry Jon, take your time." Ruby told the screen.

"So here we are in Showdown Town! Great, looks like a bad custom Counter Strike map."

"Oh good, I get to move around finally! Oh, good, a tutorial on...car paaaarrrrrrts..."

"To be fair, you wouldn't want to build any vehicle without something to go on." Yang pointed out, remembering when she started customizing Bumblebee without knowing what to do. "If it's not properly balanced or the parts your using aren't compatible with each other, you'll have a bad time."

"Oh you KNOW you're doing something wrong in the game when the first three hours isn't menus!"

"Heaven forbids if you can just pick up a game and just have some fun." Ruby stated.

"Just another reason why I prefer books over game." Blake stated.

"Good, I just...yeah, gonna make it..." Jon has made a car that looks more like a food trolley, complete with a pizza box on it. "Make a car...I don't even wanna kill myself right now."

"This is a sin." Jon says as he drives his car. "This is a true sin! An ultimate crime against the entire gaming community! I mean, what if after Super Mario World, Nintendo came out with a teaser trailer for Super Mario 64, and upon release day, you were greeted with MARIO CITY SIMULATOR?! AND THEN YOU TURNED ON THE GAME AND SHIGERU MIYAMOTO'S GHOST COMES OUT AND IS LIKE 'UH, FUCKIN' WHO LIKES THE OLD MARIO GAMES, AM I RIGHT?! BRB, MAKIN' LEGEND OF ZELDA MODERN WARFARE!"

"So pretty much there are level gates all around, almost exactly like Mario Sunshine." Banjo is turned into particles as he goes into one of the portals. "Like I said, pretty much exactly."

"It would be interesting and convenient if we had portals like that." Weiss pointed out, wondering if it would be possible for scientists to make something like that somewhere down the line.

"Sure as hell beats walking everywhere." Yang added in agreement.

"Uh...What do I do?" Jon asks as he drives around one of the levels. "No...seriously, what do I do? NO, SERIOUSLY, WHAT DO I-NO, I'M FUCKIN' SERIOUS!"

"Yeah, what exactly IS he supposed to do? What is the point in this game?" Blake wondered out loud.

"Ladies and gentlemen, I've plucked a whale from the ocean, and he sounds like a seal!" Indeed, Jon has levitated a whale out of the ocean with his wrench, and he does indeed sound like a seal. Jon slowly nods his head as he listens to the whale.

The team stares unblinkingly at the oddness in front of them while Zwei barks at the screen, trying to communicate with the barking seal whale.

"...I don't know what to say to that." Yang confessed.

"Me neither." The silver eyed girl said.

"I vote we just pretend that we saw that." Weiss said with a blank look.

"Agreed." Blake held her hand up.

"Seriously, this is just one big empty level with nothing to do in it! I eventually found out that you gotta talk to people to unlock missions where you can actually DO things! So why, then, can I walk around this GIANT WASTELAND?! This feels more empty than Fallout 3, a game that's SUPPOSED TO FEEL EMPTY!"

"I swear to god, it feels like I'm playing a game that wasn't finished! I know there's missions, but why?! This is a BANJO-KAZOOIE game! It's about the ADVENTURE! And fine, if you're gonna make it a car game, FINE. But why make this overworld that has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING IN IT?!"

"I guess the developer's heads were EMPTY and had ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to add." Yang tried to pun, but failed hard as the others groaned.

"Lemme guess...Is it by chance 'cause the LAST GAMES had overworlds that had things IN THEM?! IS THAT WHY?!"

"If you're trying to live off your predecessor's success, that's fine. But you CAN'T CHANGE THE GAME MECHANICS AND STILL KEEP THE OLD LEVEL DESIGN! THAT MAKES NO SENSE!"

"While I don't really fancy myself as a game player, I can understand where he's coming from." Weiss stated. "What works for one genre might not necessary work for another."

"Like trying to use a electric guitar in one of your performances?" Ruby listed an example.

"Exactly." Weiss answered with a smile.

"But I'll tell ya what does make a little bit of sense to me. Now I can't prove it, and I haven't read anything confirming it, but consider this the intuition of a season veteran at the early video game industry."

"Based on this old trailer and these barren levels, it would seem to me that Banjo-Kazooie: Nuts and Bolts was actually going to BE Banjo-Threeie at some point. Like I said, I can't prove it. But it would make THIS allll make sense."

"So instead of changing the level design to better fit the game mechanics, they just decided to use what they already had instead?" Ruby wondered.

"Like he said, we have no way of knowing whether that was the case or not." Blake pointed out.

"And you know what? If they HAD gone through with it, I bet it would have been a decently good game! I mean, I don't know if it would have lived up to the originals, but the assets are all here! The graphics are pretty appealing, everything is stylized, and Banjo actually controls pretty satisfyingly on the ground. And I'm not kidding, the atmosphere in some places is actually pretty fantastic."

"He has a point, all of that sounds great, if only the game play was as good." Ruby moaned.

'The REAL part of the game is boring. I don't even care. Do you care? Do you? Fuckin' care- I don't care."

Weiss rolled her eyes at the blatant lie. "From how you were reacting earlier, I think you do care."

"I do too." Ruby sniffed sadly.

"MAYBE I can end the game early by killing Gruntilda while she's IN THE OPEN!" Jon tries to run over Gruntilda with his car. "Get 'er! Get 'er, kick 'er aaaaass! Hahahahaha! But seriously...This ain't funny anymore, this is now called DramTron."

"Even though you may not believe this, I HATE the fact that I HAVE to hate this game! In an era where developers are piss-scared to make a tip-toe outside the proverbial box, it's actually nice to see something with a hint of originality! But this is NOT the way to do it! This should have been called Tiptup Nuts & Bolts!" An image of a turtle driving a vehicle flashes onscreen. "Why slap Banjo-Kazooie on this?!"

"Because it's all about that sweet, sweet brand money." Yang said, getting agreeing nods from the others.

"Who knows, if they used the turtle instead of them, the fallout might have not been so bad." Blake stated.

"I respect the idea, but come on, guys, you're better than this! Fuck you! I'm sorry, that was out of line."

"I can't do this anymore! I don't care if I have to sit here forever. I'm not playin' anymore of this god damn GAME!"

"At least he's going to stop torturing himself." Ruby chimed happily.

Suddenly, dramatic music plays as the camera focuses on Jon's eyes. "No." He looks over to the mirror he used to reflect Jacques' laser. He whips his head forward before calling "JACQUES!" and making a noise.

"Um...what is he-"

Weiss stopped when the camera focuses on the pile of ashes that was Jacques. Suddenly, a flash of white light filled the screen, revealing a fully restored Jacques once it died down.

"...What? How?!" Weiss exclaimed.

"I'm not even going to try to question it anymore." Yang told the Schnee heiress, not even surprised anymore because of what they saw the bird do so far.

"YAY! JACQUES BACK!" Ruby loudly cheered.

"That's one weird bird." Blake said nonchalantly.

Blue energy waves emanates from the newly revived robot bird and hits the hand mirror, which is launched off screen.

The skull on the Xbox laughs evilly, fire surrounding it.

"Oh my Oum! THE EVIL HAS CORRUPTED THE SYSTEM!" Ruby cried out, latching her arms around Weiss who struggles to get her off her.

"Get off me Ruby!" Weiss demanded, but to no avail.

It launches a fireball at Jon, who reflects it with the mirror that he caught. When the fireball hits the Xbox, the game disc is launched out onto the floor.

"SHOOT IT! SHOOT IT NOW!" Ruby yelled, still wrapped around Weiss.

"For Oum's sakes Ruby! Calm down!" Weiss growled in frustration.

"KILL IT WITH FIRE!" Yang decided to follow her younger sister's example.

"DON'T ENCOURAGE HER!" Weiss snapped.

Blake sighed and shook her head at the display. "Bunch of freaking children, I swear."

Jon hurriedly grabs it up, and with much effort, manages to seal it in its case.

He ties the case to a rock before moving for the door.

He is shown driving his car.

Then he is shown running towards the ocean.

The camera rotates around Jon as he spins the rock around.

Finally, he lets go, and the rock goes flying into the ocean with a splash.

"Looks like that game was given concrete shoes, or stone shoes in this case." Yang stated.

Jon stands with a proud smile on his face. "I did it. I saved the world." He said proudly.

"He did it!" Ruby cheered as Zwei barked in excitement, his tail wagging intensely.

"Yes, yes he did." Weiss said with a smile, before she gave the younger girl the most intense death stare of her existence. "NOW GET OFF ME!"

Ruby blinked before realizing that she still had a iron grip on Weiss's body and quickly let her go.

He looks into the distance to see red and green birds flying over the horizon.

The credits roll. Apparently Jon, Jacques, Banjo-Kazooie, the walls and the Trickelham Moose were all played by Jon Jafari.

"At least the nightmare is over." Yang said proudly.

"...Did those credits say that he played the walls and something called the Trickleham Moose?" Blake asked.

"It sure did." Yang answered without missing a beat.

"I wonder what we'll see next?" Ruby wondered, scratching the back of Zwei's ear.

"I don't know, but I hope it isn't anything idiotic." Weiss said with hope.

They turned their attention to the screen as it showed the next episode.


	4. Fairy Tail reacts to Happy Tree Friends

The Fairy Tail guild was currently doing their usual routine, consisting of heavy drinking, chatting or brawling. For example, the daughter of one Ace was sipping so much alcohol that it was amazing she didn't die of alcohol poisoning.

"Hey, Mira, mind getting me another drink?" Cana asked, still completely sober somehow.

"Well, all right, but don't overdo it now." Mirajane replied with a smile, handing her another mug.

"Eh, no such thing as overdoing it with me." Cana replied with a shrug.

"Excuse m-aaahhh!" The mailman coming into the guild door tried to announce himself, only to dodge a flying guild member coming his way.

The mailman wasn't really surprised by this, considering Fairy Tail's reputation. Why did he have to lose the bet and be the one to deliver their packages!? Seriously, why did the package have to be directly delivered to the guildhall?

He ducked, bobbed and weaved around the brawling guild members, but he didn't make it out unscathed, as he had several tears on his uniform, as well as cuts and bruises, and even a black eye.

"Can I help you?" Mira asked politely to the mail man who managed to reach his way to the bar counter.

"HERE! JUST TAKE IT!" The mailman yelled at Mira, throwing a small rectangular box covered in brown wrapping.

The woman tilted her head and frowned. "Well, um...Thank you for your delivery!" She called back with a wave.

"Oh?" Mira turned at the voice of the guildmaster. "A package, eh? What do we have?"

"I don't know." Mira answered before tearing open the wrappings. It was a magical film...But it was unlabeled.

"Hmm? What in the world is this?" Makarov commented, picking up the DVD.

"I've never seen anything like-Wait, there's a note." Mira picked up a sheet of paper.

"ALL RIGHT, BRATS, LISTEN UP NOW!" Makarov yelled.

The guild member stopped brawling and turned to their master. "Now, we just received a package that appears to be a film of some sort. It came with a letter, so you're all gonna sit and listen up!" The guild, curiousity piqued, obliged and listened to Mira talk.

'Dear Fairy Tail Guild

I have been watching you for many years, and am a huge fan of you all. I exist in a world where many tidbits of your adventures and exploits are visible to the public eye, and many of my people have grown to love each and every one of you.

I have managed to find a way to transport objects to your world, and I've decided that I want to share some of my world's culture with you. I will be periodically sending packages containing various forms of entertainment from my world for you all to enjoy.

And if you don't enjoy the first package I've sent, then don't worry too much. We are a diverse culture, with many different forms of entertainment to share, so there will certainly be things sent to you that are not even remotely similar to this.

With all that said, I hope you'll enjoy.'

"Huh? Is this a prank?" Gray questioned, not believing someone actually dimension hopped of all things to give them stuff because they were a fan.

"I don't know Gray. We have seen weirder stuff." Lucy pointed out, remembering Edolas.

"Yeah, I guess..." Gray mumbled. "Still weird as hell though..."

"Either way, I am intrigued to see what may be on that film." Erza said. She was imagining all sorts of things that this other dimension could see as entertainment...

And so, that was how the entire guild found themselves seated in front of a large screen, prepared to watch the video commence...

The DVD starts with a picture book with the title 'Tongue in Cheek'. The book opens to reveal a blue anteater holding a magnifying glass over an anthill, which an ant is popping out of. The anteater's name is Sniffles.

"Awww, this looks adorable!" Wendy cooed.

"Tch..." Gajeel snorted and turned back to his drink.

"Oh, don't be like that." Levy scolded, giving him a light whack on the arm.

And the cartoon starts, revealing Sniffles is having a picnic. He pours himself a drink. He then picks up what looks to be a piece of bread with jelly on it, and then is hit on the back of the head, causing him to fall over in a comedic manner.

This earned a chuckle from most of the guild.

A tall blue moose runs up to the picnic blanket and chuckles sheepishly before apologizing. Sniffles gets up, rubbing the back of his head, and angrily returns the golf ball before going back to his picnic. However, he stops and gasps when he sees something on his blanket...

A small ant is collecting Sniffles' grapes.

Natsu and Happy's eyes narrowed as they scowled at the ant on the screen. They hated ants. Whenever they took food outside, the ants would ALWAYS be there in an attempt to ruin it and take it for themselves!

"C'mon, Sniffles! Don't let that ant take your food from ya!" Natsu ordered.

"Aye! Show him not to mess with you!" Happy agreed.

However, Sniffles had a different plan. He hid behind a tree and grinned before extending his long tongue outward.

"What, he's trying to eat the ant? Why not just kill it and get his food back?" Gray questioned.

"He seems to be an anteater. It's possible he's doing this out of instinct more than anything else." Levy speculated.

When Sniffles touched the ant with his tongue, it quickly ran away until it find itself corned with a cup of hot coffee at back.

"Geez, how long is his tongue?" Gray asked.

"So gross..." Lucy shuddered.

Sniffles made an attempt to have his tongue lunge at the ant, only for it to dodge out of the way, causing the hot beverage to spill all over his tongue, which in turn causes him to let out several pained whimpers.

"Ah, c'mon, it can't hurt THAT badly!" Natsu said.

"Natsu, you can literally eat fire. You've never experienced what it's like to burn your tongue." Gray said flatly.

"Oh yeah? Burning your tongue hurt that badly, Ice for Brains?"

"You tryin' to start something?!"

"Enough, you two." Erza slammed their heads together.

Sniffles' tongue continues to chase the ant. It is screaming all the while.

"...Is it wrong to say that this thing's scream is...kind of annoying?" Happy asked, covering his ears.

The ant runs up a tree, and Sniffles' tongue follows.

"Seriously, all this effort for one little bug?" Gray rolled his eyes. "You got plenty of food right there on that blanket, just eat that!"

"I find his efforts commendable." Erza said with a smile. "One should never give up on their goals!"

"...You do realize he's basically trying to murder someone right now." Gray replied with a raised brow.

Erza flinched. "Well, yes, but...but he's so adorable, and so determined, and oh my goodness I'm supporting murder right now, aren't I?"

"Eyup." Gray said with a nod.

Despite the burning pain of his tongue, Sniffles resumed his chase on the ant. The ant runs up a tree and walks into a branch with a single leaf hanging onto it. Once more Sniffles corners the ant, only to have it slip away using the leaf as a parachute and then as a boat when it hits the water.

"Huh. That wasn't half bad for a dumb little insect." Gajeel admitted as the ant flew away.

"Oh? And here I thought it was too dumb for you, Gajeel." Levy teased, nudging him with his elbow. He simply snorted in response.

Sniffles is determined, however, and he sticks his tongue into the water in an attempt to catch up to the ant.

"He's STILL GOING?!" Gray exclaimed in disbelief. "Just let it go already!"

A purple mole with a sweater and sunglasses is seen sitting on the shore nearby with a camera. He snaps a picture and it develops to reveal Sniffles' tongue traversing through the water like a snake.

"Oh yeah, reminds me of one of my early missions." Laxus commented.

"Ah, yes, I believe it's the one in that village that said they saw a sea monster and wanted it gone...?" Makarov asked.

"And then it just turned out to be a conveniently shaped rock." Laxus finished.

The ant hits the shore and runs off with Sniffles' tongue in hot pursuit, when a golf ball rolls up. The ant trips as it runs for ant-hill, leaving it vulnerable as Sniffles' tongue pounces in for the kill. The tongue stops short of the ant, however, unable to move forward, allowing the ant to escape, slamming a door on top of the hill.

"Ah, bad luck." Cana commented. "Almost had it."

"Well whattya know? That tongue DOES have a limit." Gray said.

"Ugh...I thought it'd NEVER stop extending..." Lucy shuddered slightly.

The guild quickly finds out the reason the tongue stopped extending, however, when they see a pair spiked of cleats standing on top of it.

They collectively winced, imagining the pain of someone standing on their tongues with sharp cleats like that.

"Ugh...How is he not screaming his head off right now?!" Lucy exclaimed.

The moose from earlier is standing on Sniffles' tongue, preparing to hit his golf ball.

"Ah, there really is nothing like a game of golf..." Makarov said fondly. "Unfortunately for our blue friend, the course seems rather dull...Heh, I guess they don't have magic in their world, then they'd see what a REAL golf course looks like!"

The ant waves before jumping into her anthill and closing the door behind her.

Lumpy swings his club, but misses the ball and sighs. Makarov grinned.

"Reminds me of the time Natsu tried to play."

"Hey, come on, that game isn't even fun!" Natsu protested.

"You just don't have the patience for it." Makarov retorted.

"Oh yeah?! You and me after this, old man! I'll show you I can golf!"

"Natsu, you got banned from every golf course in the state." Lucy said flatly.

"Oh right, because I accidentally burned down the course...Heh..." Natsu chuckled sheepishly.

"That was an accident?" Gray asked. "Looked to me like a temper tantrum."

Sniffles clears his throat, causing Lumpy to look up at him.

"Well, he doesn't seem to be in any pain." Carla said.

"Yeah, he looks more annoyed than anything else." Lucy agreed.

"Still don't want those things on my tongue." Natsu shuddered.

"Yeah, me either. Then I'd never taste my yummy fish again!" Happy nodded in agreement.

Lumpy looks down to see that he's on Sniffles' tongue before jumping off with a yelp. He picks it up and delivers it to him, chuckling sheepishly before Sniffles slurps his tongue back into his mouth.

"You've gotten salt, pepper, hot coffee, dirt, bark, lake water and spiked shoes on your tongue. I don't think one puny ant is worth that." Gray said.

And then Sniffles is shown observing the anthill from afar.

"Seriously?! He's STILL going?!" Gray's jaw dropped in disbelief.

"Give the little guy points for persistence." Gajeel said with a shrug.

"I give him ten!" Natsu said.

"Ten!" Happy agreed.

"Seven." Lucy said.

"Why seven?" Happy asked.

"Because I agree with Gray. He should really stop trying."

Sniffles chuckles to himself. Then the scene cuts to inside the anthill, where one of the ants is cooking something, only to hear their secret knock from outside.

She pulls open the wooden flap on the door to see...Sniffles' finger with an ant drawn on it.

"...You. Are. Kidding." Gray said flatly.

"You can't honestly expect them to fall for that!" Natsu exclaimed, throwing his arms up.

"...Oh my goodness, they're actually falling for it." Mirajane said in disbelief, as the ants open the door to let the other ant in...

Only for Sniffles' hand to slam down onto their floor, causing them to scream.

"Welp, looks like he got ya." Natsu said. "Should've been smarter about who ya let in your house."

Sniffles feels around for the ants inside the hill, only to let out a gasp of pain.

Inside the anthill, Sniffles' hand is sewn to the ground, the upper part of his arm sewn to the top of the entrance to the hill. And there is visible blood.

The guild is sitting, surprised by this development. Wendy in particular is shocked by what she is seeing.

"Oh my God, those ants sewed his arm to the ground...How did they even do that?! They did NOT have time to do that!" Lucy exclaimed.

"It seems those ants are much smarter than we initially gave them credit for..." Makarov said with a grimace.

The ants begin pulling his fingernails up with a needle. To increase the pain, the ants pour salt on Sniffles' fingers.

The guild turned away from the brutal scene, collectively cringing, some feeling downright sick to their stomachs. Wendy even emptied hers into a nearby bag.

"I can't believe something as cute as this turned out to be so brutal!" Mirajane shrieked.

"Those ants! What they did goes against everything manliness stands for!" Elfman boomed.

"I doubt the ants care that much about manliness..." Laxus said.

"They...LITERALLY poured salt in his wounds..." Gajeel said with a grimace. "That is honestly one of the most screwed up things I can think of."

As all this is happening, Sniffles is screaming in agony and frantically trying to yank his arm out of the anthill.

"W-Wendy...Y-You're crushing my ribs, dear..." Carla choked out.

"It's not real, it's not real, it's not real, it's not real..." Wendy was mumbling to herself, traumatized by what she was witnessing.

Sniffles grabs at his arm, and gives a mighty tug. This tug, however, rips the skin from his arm, and he falls back from the anthill, leaving the skin of his hand behind him.

Sniffles lands on his back, then sits up, and looks at his hand. He screams when he sees the red, skinless, blood-leaking appendage.

The entire guild cringed seeing Sniffles' skinless arm, having never witnessed anyone actually lose their skin before. It was quite the traumatic sight for them.

"Oh good lord, somebody help him! Get that moose, or that mole, or literally anyone!" Lucy exclaimed.

"I never knew ants were so evil!" Juvia exclaimed, hiding under a table. Then she wrapped her arms around Gray's legs. "Darling Gray, protect me!"

"Get off!" Gray forced his legs out of Juvia's grasp, causing her to whine. "I hate to say it, Sniffles, but ya brought it on yourself."

"Gray! What a horrible thing to say to someone in pain!" Erza scolded.

"What? He tried to eat a family. Obviously they're gonna defend themselves the best they can." Gray shrugged.

"Don't you think they're going too far?! The ants removed his fingernails and LITERALLY poured salt in his wounds!" Lucy shrieked at Gray's indifference.

"What else can they really do? They're ants. They have to work with what they can, right? If they just wait for him to leave, he'll come back. They have to scare him off somehow, and the only way they can do that is by hurting him. They have the right to defend themselves by any means necesarry."

The guild was silent. They couldn't really argue with Gray's logic.

"I still think it's too much..." Natsu grumbled.

"Well, that's your opinion and you're entitled to it." Gray shrugged.

The scene shows Sniffles, with his bandaged injury, inside his house, putting together an ant shaped robot.

"...He's still going after the damn ants?!" Gray threw his arms up. "Sniffles, come ON already! They won't even fill you!"

"It's probably more of a cross between pride and vengeance than anything else." Laxus commented with a shrug.

"And, again, instinct." Levy added.

Sniffles places a small helmet on the robot ant as a finishing touch. Then he places a similar helmet on his own head, emitting some kind of radio wave. Sniffles raises his arms. The robot does the same. Sniffles begins to walk. The robot follows his movements. Sniffles laughs and rubs his hands together.

"Well, I guess that's a smart decision." Gray commented. "Least he's not putting himself in harm's way like that."

Inside the anthill, one of the ants is milking some kind of bug, when he notices the secret knock. He opens the door to see the robot, and then the door is opened to allow it inside.

"Run. Just run." Lucy urged, nervous.

The robot scans the four ants in front of it, and Sniffles laughs as he activates the machine's secret weapons: two buzzsaws, a pair of sharp claws and a drill.

The ants scream and run away in a panic as the robot moves to strike them down.

From an outside perspective, their anthill is rapidly destroyed from the inside out, eventually culminating in it exploding.

"Well, the little guy got payback for his hand." Gajeel said with crossed arms.

"So...that's good, I guess?" Wendy said, unsure of how to react to that.

The robot chases the ants outside, where they run up to Sniffles' house. The robot lunges at them with hooks, missing and getting the hooks caught in an electrical socket. The robot gets electrocuted, as does Sniffles, causing both to fall to the ground.

"Oh dear..." Said Mirajane, putting a hand to her mouth.

"That's karma for ya. She's a cruel mistress." Gajeel said, shaking his head.

One of the ants picks up the helmet off the robot, and crosses the wires.

"What's it doing now?" Natsu scratched his head.

Sniffles groans as he pulls himself up off the floor, then sees the ants are now standing on his table. One of them places the helmet on his head and walks forward...and Sniffles is forced to copy his movements, much to his surprise.

"...Oh no." Wendy covered her eyes, not wanting to witness the inevitable gore.

"Well, Sniffles, look where this little hunt got ya." Gray said. "I can't even bring myself to feel sorry for you anymore." Some of the guild members silently agreed, while others were upset by his words.

The ant forces Sniffles to walk towards a drawer and place an apple down. Sniffles is then forced to open a drawer and pull out a razor blade, causing him to gulp.

"They wouldn't." Mira breathed.

Sniffles is forced to insert five razor blades into the apple.

"Okay, you don't have to do this. The guy's under your control, just make him slit his throat or something..." Gray said, now beginning to feel sympathy for the anteater.

Sniffles whimpers as he is forced to pick up the apple. The ant holds his hand up to his mouth and makes a biting motion...And Sniffles is forced to take a big bite out of the razor filled apple.

There was a loud, collective cry from the guild members, conveying shock, outrage, and most of all, disgust and horror at witnessing someone forced to bite into razor blades.

"Okay, NOW they're going too far!" Gray exclaimed.

"No more blood...No more blood...No more blood..." Wendy huddled in a corner, chanting this mantra.

Gajeel shook his head. If that were him, it'd be no problem. He's devoured solid steel, after all, a couple razors wouldn't be a problem. But Sniffles was different. He didn't have that ability. The fact that he could never experience the unimaginable pain the anteater was feeling made it even more cringe worthy to him.

"Those ants seem to have quite the sadistic streak..." Makarov said, shaking his head.

Sniffles lets out a scream of agony, his mouth bloody from the razor blades. A closeup is shown of his ruined mouth, bloody, with the razors imbedded in his teeth, causing large cracks.

"Geez, they destroyed the guy's teeth!" Natsu exclaimed.

Sniffles is then forced to walk towards a paper shredder. He picks up a sheet of paper, and inserts it into the shredder, where it is cut into ribbons.

Then, the ants make Sniffles stick out his tongue.

"They wouldn't." Natsu said.

Sniffles is forced to place his tongue in the shredder.

"They would." Happy said before covering his eyes.

The shredder turns on, and Sniffles' tongue is shredded into ribbons as he screams and sobs pitifully.

"Make it stooooop!" Wendy covered her ears and closed her eyes.

"Close that book already!" Makarov exclaimed.

Everyone else was too busy putting their hands over their mouths, thankful their tongues were still intact.

The torture continues, as Sniffles is forced to walk outside, holding a hammer, a large nail and a paddle. The nail is then held over his tail as he is forced to raise the hammer, pleading desperately.

"Even Tartarus would draw the line at this level of torture." Erza said, disgusted by what the ants were doing.

"I swear, I never wanna see another ant again as long as I live!" Natsu said furiously.

"Aye, sir!" Happy agreed.

The nail is violently drove into Sniffles' tail, causing him to scream in horrible agony. All Exceeds present in the room covered their tails with winces.

Sniffles tries in vain to yank the helmet off his head, but is instead forced to pick up the oar.

Sniffles whimpers as the remains of his tongue are tied to the oar. He is then forced to twist the oar, his snout getting twisted alongside it with audible cracking sounds. And all he can do is scream and cry, tears in his eyes.

At this point, practically everyone was forcing themselves not to vomit at the gruesome display before them, not sure how to handle this level of brutality towards a helpless creature.

"Why...? Just why...?" Erza said softly.

"Oh God, I just wanna hug him..." Lucy whimpered, staring at the horrible scene.

Finally, Sniffles lets go of the paddle, and it begins to twirl like the rotors of a helicopter, lifting him off the ground. However, his tail is nailed down, and so he is unable to get too far up.

He screams as his tongue is violently twirled...And then, abruptly, his vital organs and ribcage are yanked out through his mouth, finally putting an end to his suffering as his corpse collapses lifelessly to the ground.

"It's finally over..." Mirajane whispered, praying for Sniffles' soul.

"This was sent to us by a FAN?!" Lucy exclaimed.

"Some fan we've got!" Natsu exclaimed.

The next scene shows one of the ants running and playing with a hoop, pushing it with a stick.

"Yeah, I hope you're having fun, ya little monster, 'cause when you die, you're going straight to hell!" Natsu exclaimed.

The ant turns and waves to his mother, who is sweeping the front of their new home. She waves back, and their house is revealed.

The ants have made a house out of Sniffles' remains.

"They tortured him to death, and then they defiled his corpse?!" Lucy shrieked, clapping her hands over her mouth.

"Tch...Self defense or not, those ants DESERVE to be eaten!" Gajeel said through gritted teeth.

Erza stood atop a table and pointed dramatically at the screen. "You vile creatures! How dare you?! You've no right to torture and humiliate that poor anteater in such a horrendous manner! I will teach you a lesson you will never forget!" She prepared to attack, and was held back by Natsu and Gray.

"Don't do it, Erza!" Natsu exclaimed.

"Unhand me! I will teach those insects the error of their ways!" Erza struggled to escape their grasps.

"It's not even real!" Gray exclaimed.

Meanwhile, Lumpy is still playing golf. He slips on one of his golf gloves, but the other one is missing. Then, he finds the skin that had been torn from Sniffles' hand earlier and slips it over his own.

"...Does he have any idea what he's doing?" Levy asked, grimacing.

"He...seems pretty slow..." Mirajane replied with a sweatdrop.

Lumpy hits the ball, and it goes through a red tube, which is revealed to be Sniffles' intenstinal tract, wrapped around a tree.

"That is simply disgusting!" Makarov exclaimed. "And furthermore, he's missed the point of the game entirely! You're trying to get the ball into a hole on the ground, not into any sort of tube!"

"I think I'll take a raincheck on that golf rematch, old man..." Natsu mumbled, feeling ill.

"And I think I'm gonna spend the night in the guild...I'll just sleep on the counter...Where the ants PROBABLY can't get me..." Wendy mumbled softly.

Lumpy pumps his fist in victory, and the episode ends...

And then immediately reveals another one. The guild members stiffened.

"...Do we have to...?" Wendy whimpered.

"Maybe this one'll be better." Natsu said optimistically. "C'mon, I say we give it a shot!"

"Great attitude, my boy!" Makarov said, nodding in approval.

The episode is called 'Sea What I Found.' It stars a blue sea otter named Russell.

"We have pirates in this show too?" Gray asked, raising his brow.

It also stars two green raccoons named Lifty and Shifty, only differentiated by one of them wearing a fedora.

The episode also features the blue moose, Lumpy, a bear with an orange afro named Disco Bear, another bear smoking a pipe named Pop, and an infant named Cub.

"There's a baby in this show...Oh my goodness there's a baby in this show..." Wendy covered her eyes. "Please don't hurt the baby..."

The episode begins in Russell's house, where he is waking up from his slumber, woken by his alarm clock, which is a parrot.

"That's rather charming." Erza said with a small smile. "His house is decorated to be like a pirate ship."

Russell yawns and gets out of his hammock, revealing his peg legs with slippers on them. He opens his closet to reveal various different shoes and a set of peg legs without slippers on them, which is what he settles on.

He then hears a knock on the door, and opens it to reveal Lumpy, with fishing gear all ready to go.

"Ooh, they're gonna go fishing!" Happy exclaimed. "I could really go for a fish right now..."

"After what we just witnessed with Sniffles?!" Lucy exclaimed in shock.

"I need to comfort eat. I've seen you do it." Happy replied dismissively.

"Why you little..."

Lumpy and Russel are now fishing at the docks. Behind them, Pop and Cub are using a set of binoculars. Pop looks into them to see dolphins splashing about on the surface.

"Aww, look at the cute dolphins..." Juvia cooed, delighted at the aquatic mammals.

"I wonder what they'd taste like." Happy commented, much to Juvia's displeasure.

Pop picks up Cub to show him the dolphins, putting his eyes over the binoculars. He is distracted, however, when Disco Bear steps onto the deck, holding a boom box and wearing a speedo.

"...This episode is already on par with the last one." Gray said flatly as everyone else grimaced at the sight.

Pop is equally disturbed, because he lowers his arms slightly, causing the binoculars Cub is looking through to point upwards. Now, instead of looking at the dolphins, Cub is looking directly into the sun, causing holes to be burned through his eyes, clean through to the back of his head.

"Well, at least the kid didn't have to see the freak with the stupid hair in a speedo..." Gajeel commented.

Pop looks at his deceased son, then runs away in a panic, presumably to get Cub medical attention.

Bisca and Alzack both winced at that, not wanting to imagine how the parent must be feeling.

As Pop runs off, Lifty and Shifty approach the docks with a sack and a crowbar, snickering. As Lifty inserts the crowbar under the binoculars and begins pulling, Shifty looks through and sees the dolphins...As well as a bottle with a piece of paper that is reeled in by Russell and Lumpy.

"Oooh, is there gonna be a treasure map inside that bottle?!" Happy exclaimed, eyes sparkling.

Indeed there is, as Lumpy and Russell study the map to see that it leads to a pirate wreck with a treasure chest.

However, Lifty and Shifty are also watching them...

"Yeah, those two did seem like the sneaky thief type." Natsu said with a nod.

Russell and Lumpy cheer over their good luck, and Lifty and Shifty snicker. The two brothers run off...And then immediately come back to smash the binoculars and take the money from inside.

"Such greed..." Erza said, shaking her head.

Lumpy and Russell prepare to set sail. Lumpy is reading the map, when he looks outside to see the waves of the ocean tossing violently, making him feel queasy. The water begins to rotate in circles, making him turn a sickly pale.

The Dragonslayers all mirrored Lumpy's weakness, feeling the moose's pain. Boat rides were utter hell...

"Auuuugh..." Natsu laid on the ground, motionless.

"I don't feel good..." Wendy was clutching her stomach in pain.

"Damn...boats..." Gajeel spat out weakly.

"None of you are even on the boat! Why are you getting motion sickness?!" Lucy exclaimed.

"Just roll with it, Lucy. This happens all the time." Gray said simply.

Lumpy violently vomits on the floor.

"Tsk...Guy just doesn't seem to know how to keep it down." Cana commented before taking another drink.

And then it is revealed that the boat is not even moving, and the water was actually inside a washing machine that Russell is using. Russell looks into the boat with a confused "Yar?"

"Ah...He was sick without reason." Erza said with a small smirk. "Rather amusing."

"I guess he just has a particularly weak stomach." Mira said with a smile.

As Lumpy and Russell set sail, Disco Bear is relaxing on a submarine made of solid gold. However, while he is distracted, Lifty and Shifty climb in through the open hatch, taking over the submarine.

Disco Bear looks around in confusion as his submarine begins to submerge beneath the water...

And then the periscope erupts out from the water beneath him and violently impales him through the stomach, tearing his heart out in the process.

"Why?! Just why?!" Wendy squeezed Carla again.

"Wendy...! Crushing...my...ribs...!"

The submarine begins moving, leaving a trail of Disco Bear's blood and organs behind, which attracts a flock of seagulls.

Lifty and Shifty laugh as they follow close behind Lumpy and Russell, who seem to have reached the spot on the map where the X is marked.

As Lumpy pumps air, Russell goes under the water in a diving suit to secure the treasure. He looks down at his oxygen meter to see that he is running low, and then tugs on the air line.

Lumpy looks over as Russell's tugging rings a bell, then proceeds to pump more air down to him.

"I...don't think he's the right guy for that job." Lucy said with a sweatdrop.

Russell, now full of fresh air, sees the treasure, in the clutches of a skeleton, lying at the bottom of the sea. Happily, he goes and retrieves it... But the submarine is coming his way.

Russell feels a tap on his shoulder, and looks behind him to see Shifty crouching behind him.

And then Lifty rams into him, sending him flying and causing him to drop the treasure.

"Disgraceful...Taking the fruits of others' hard labour..." Erza said, shaking her head in disgust.

Due to the fact that he is underwater, Russell's descent is slow and drawn out, enough so for Lifty and Shifty to play a game of checkers, and the entire time, he's letting out a cry of "Yaaaaaaaaaar!"

"Heh...I love his little pirate sounds." Cana said with a smirk.

"Why are those two playing checkers when they could be getting away with the treasure?" Gray asked.

Lifty and Shifty both snicker, the noise unable to be heard under the water. Bubbles float to the surface, where their laughter is heard. Treasure in hand, they swim back into the submarine and take off.

"C'mon, Russell, don't let 'em get away!" Natsu called out to the screen.

Russell has the same thoughts from the looks of it, as he turns around with an expression of anger on his face.

He grabs a swordfish and uses it to cut some boards out from the sunken shipwreck. Then he grabs a hammerhead shark and uses it to nail the boards together. Then he uses an electric eel as a welding torch, and soon enough, he has a small makeshift underwater boat.

"Huh. Not too shabby." Gray complimented.

"Certainly creative." Erza agreed.

Russell tries to start up the boat...And it immediately falls apart. Then all the creatures he used to put it together come back and beat him up.

"I suppose that's to be expected when you use dangerous creatures as literal tools." Makarov said.

"It was both a stupid idea, yet also a brilliant one." Gray gave Russell props where it was due.

Russel pulls on the hose, ringing the bell and waking up lumpy, who proceeds to turn on the oxygen handle. Russel continues pulling the hose, not getting any oxygen.

"Oh no! He's not getting any oxygen?! Save him! I don't wanna watch anyone drown!" Wendy shrieked.

"I think it's because the moose is an idiot." Cana said, rolling her eyes.

Lumpy is pumping down air as fast as he can, a panicked look on his face, when he finally notices he's standing on the hose.

"I knew he couldn't be trusted..." Lucy facepalmed and shook her head.

Finally, Lumpy steps off the hose, and a huge amount of air goes down to Russell, causing his suit to inflate, causing him to float upward.

"Phew..." Wendy sighed in relief that Russel hadn't drowned.

Back on the boat, the hose begins whipping about wildly, causing Lumpy to panic and scream. It seems to have missed him at first, much to his relief...

But then all of his limbs abruptly fall off, followed by one of his antlers.

"Wait, what?! How did that even happen?!" Levy was more baffled than horrified by Lumpy's mutilation.

"Guess that's just how ridiculous this show is." Laxus shrugged.

A drowning Lumpy floats down past Russell, who begins to float upwards.

The air pumped into his suit causes him to expand in a grotesque manner, and eventually, his body grows too big for his skin, causing his muscle and some of his inner workings to become exposed, killing him.

"Oh my goodness..." Mira buried her face in her hands.

"I put all the blame on Lumpy! If he hadn't slacked off from his duty, Russell never would have suffered the loss of air in the first place!" Erza exclaimed.

Russell's corpse floats to the surface, where the dolphins from earlier begin to play with it like a beach ball.

"Such innocent little dolphins..." Juvia mumbled.

Back in the submarine, Lifty and Shifty open the treasure chest and admire their stolen goods.

"Dirtbags..." Natsu spat.

The raccoons begin stuffing their pockets with gold coins. Lifty puts a crown on top of his head. Shifty puts on a golden necklace and stuffs his fedora with gold coins before putting it back on.

However, the submarine then floated over an underwater volcano, causing it to overheat and jerk to a stop.

"They gonna get caught up in an eruption or something?" Gray asked.

Inside the submarine, the pipes break and the bolts fly out, causng several chunks of debris to come down and land on top of Lifty, pinning him to the ground.

Shifty approaches his brother with a grin, and Lifty smiles, thinking he is going to be saved.

However, rather than helping his twin, Shifty instead steals all the gold Lifty has for himself. Lifty looks betrayed, before narrowing his eyes in anger.

It was no surprise that everyone in the guild hall was fuming at the betrayal, due to the strong familial bond they all shared.

"That bastard!" Natsu roared.

"Valuing money over your own flesh and blood sibling...Despicable!" Erza spat, disgusted.

Shifty tries to make his way to the door. But due to the boiling temperature of the submarine, his feet are stuck to the floor. And so he has to force himself just to move through the submarine.

However, this comes at a cost. With every step he takes, a layer of skin and flesh is torn off the bottoms of his feet.

"I...don't know whether to be grateful he's getting what he deserves or sympathetic, because...That's just hard to watch..." Levy said, grimacing at the scene.

"Well I say he deserves every second of that!" Gajeel replied.

"Ugh...My feet are aching just watching that...I have a sudden urge to start wearing shoes..." Natsu commented.

Shifty attempts to climb through the doorway to get to the ladder, but is unable to, due to the fact that he is weighed down by all the gold he is carrying.

"Heh...That's karma for ya, Shifty." Gray said, crossing his arms.

"Greed does not pay." Erza said sagely.

Several of the gold coins Shifty was carrying land on the ground, and Shifty lets out a sound of surprise when he sees that the coins are melting.

"...I can't look..." Wendy covered her eyes.

Seconds later, the gold Shifty had with him begins to melt, rapidly covering his body in the scalding golden liquid, all while he screams in panic and agony.

"Well, he wanted gold, so he BECAME gold. That's karma for ya, dirty thief." Gray said with a smirk.

"That's what he gets!" Elfman shouted, causing the guild hall to cheer.

"So am I the only one disturbed by what happened to him...?" Lucy asked with a nervous grin.

The submarine sinks into the volcano, which then promptly erupts, causing it to fall to pieces.

Miraculously, Lifty survives the whole incident, with minimal injuries to show for it.

"Oh good...I'm glad someone made it out okay." Wendy said with a small smile.

"Yeah, good to see the guy didn't die from being betrayed by that brother of his!" Natsu agreed.

Lifty looks to see his brother is now a golden statue, face frozen in an expression of terror, causing everyone to shudder as they began to imagine what it would be like to have molten gold slowly ooze over them...

Lifty grins widely at his deceased twin, then takes a quick glance upward before swimming down to grab Shifty's remains.

"No, no, no, there's no way you'll be able to lift that!" Wendy exclaimed.

"Let it go, Lift!" Natsu exclaimed. "It's not worth it!"

However, Lifty finds that the statue is too heavy, and to make matters worse, his arm gets stuck, forcing him to sink to the bottom of the sea along with his brother.

Lifty lets out a few gurgles, trying in vain to gasp for air, but ultimately, he drowns.

"His greed overcame him, and led him to make a poor decision." Erza said, shaking her head.

"Tch...He just wanted to cash in on his dead brother's corpse." Gray said, disgusted.

"At least he didn't die like Shifty did..." Lucy mumbled to herself, still somewhat haunted by Shifty's screams.

The map that had been the kickstart to this series of events floats to the surface, where it is found by a yellow rabbit, who opens it up to reveal Lifty and Shifty's corpses are now on the map.

"Oh boy...Here we go again..." Gray mumbled, rolling his eyes. "Now he's gonna get a bunch of his friends killed trying to get that 'treasure'..."

The episode ends...And another one starts up.

"Well, the second one was better than the first, so this can't be that bad!" Natsu exclaimed with a grin.

The episode is called Wishy Washy. It stars a blue skunk named Petunia.

"Wow...She's kinda pretty..." Happy mumbled softly to himself. Natsu heard and looked down at his little friend with a grin.

"Careful, buddy, wouldn't want Carla to get jealous." He said, giving Happy a noogie.

Lumpy is also in a starring role.

The episode begins with Petunia taking a shower, causing Happy to blush. Petunia dries herself off and steps out of the shower with a towel around her head, then washes her hands.

"You just took a shower...Is that really necesarry?" Gray asked, brow quirked.

"Well, some people just...REALLY value cleanliness." Lucy replied to Gray's comment.

Petunia puts her towel in a laundry hamper, where all of the other towels she's used are folded neatly.

"Well, someone is certainly organized." Levy said with a smile.

"Little TOO organized if ya ask me." Gajeel said gruffly.

Petunia puts her trademark flower back on her head, then opens a cupboard to reveal an assortment of bottles. She picks one, squirts a pinkish cream onto her hand, and rubs it on her face before putting it back.

However, she then gasps in horror when she notices one of the bottles is off position, with the logo facing slightly to the right while the others are pointed straight forward.

"Oh boy...She's OCD as all hell." Gray observed.

"Don't despair, Petunia! You can do this!" Erza shouted in an encouraging manner.

"You're getting too into this..." Lucy mumbled softly.

Petunia takes some deep breaths to calm herself, eliciting an eye roll from several members of the guild, before reaching over and turning the bottle into the correct position.

"There ya go. It's that simple. You didn't need all that drama." Gray said.

"Well done, Petunia!" Erza clapped her hands with a huge smile. "You've overcome your obstacle!"

Petunia sighs in relief and closes the cupboard...only to notice an unsightly green stain on the mirror.

She then proceeds to hyperventilate into a paper bag for several moments.

"How much do you guys wanna bet she's gonna work herself up into a heart attack?" Gray said, rolling his eyes.

Petunia cleans he mirror using a large wad of toilet paper wrapped around her rubber-gloved hand (and several layers of cleaning solution on the mirror.)

"Seriously excessive there." Gajeel said, raising his brow.

"At least she values cleanliness." Lucy said before giving Natsu the evil eye, causing him to look at her with a confused grunt.

Happy, for his part, was sitting and daydreaming about what a life with Petunia would be like, him bringing a big fish home every day, her keeping the house clean, them cuddling...

"Awww, Happy, looks like someone has a crush~." Mira teased softly, causing him to blush.

"I like Carla..." He mumbled softly.

"I am not gonna let this go, Happy." Natsu said, patting the Exceed's head.

Petunia attempts to flush all the toilet paper at once.

"There's no way that's gonna go down." Gray said flatly.

Petunia turns on her sink, only for it to immediately turn back off again.

"Uh-oh, did she wreck her plumbing?" Mira asked.

Petunia turns around and gasps when she sees a sickly greenish liquid in her toilet.

"Sheesh, how'd THAT happen just from trying to flush some toilet paper?" Natsu asked with a raised brow.

"Yeah. Normally it takes YOU to do something like that..." Lucy grumbled.

"One time, Lucy, one time!"

"One time too many!"

"...Lumpy's gonna be the plumber, isn't he?" Gray asked, causing everyone to wince.

Sure enough, a blue hand rings the doorbell. A hyperventilating Petunia hurriedly answers the door, where Lumpy is standing, tool kit in hand and mud all over the bottoms of his shoes.

Lumpy greets Petunia, who hurriedly babbles the problem to him. As Lumpy walks in, Petunia freezes as she sees him trekking his muddy footprints all over the floor, and begins hyperventilating again.

"And there's ANOTHER thing you do!" Lucy gestured to the screen. "If I had ONE COIN for EVERY bit of mud you, Gray or Erza trekked on my floor, I'd have my parents' entire fortune back!"

"Whoa, Lucy, just calm down..." Natsu said nervously.

"Sounds like a lot of pent up anger's being unleashed here..." Gray mumbled nervously.

"Lucy is right...There is no excuse...It was unforgivable for me to trek my muddy footprints on your newly cleaned floor..." Erza said mournfully.

Lumpy enters the bathroom and sees the toilet, overflowed with the bubbling green liquid.

"It looks just like the bathroom here after Cana's had too much to drink." Gray commented.

"Eh." Cana shrugged her shoulders.

As Lumpy walks back outside to get what he needs, Petunia is rushing along behind him with a mini vacuum, cleaning up the mud while hyperventilating.

"You shouldn't trust that bozo, Petunia!" Happy said. "Get a real man to fix your plumbing!"

"Oh, like you?" Natsu asked, grinning widely at his friend.

"Stop teasing!" Happy whined.

After coming back in, Lumpy catches on to the fact that he should probably wipe his feet first. So he scrapes the mud off his work boots.

"Wow! Look at how easy it is to scrape mud off the bottoms of your feet!" Lucy said in a passive aggressive tone. "It's like magic! Hey, what if you guys could do that?! Wouldn't that just be GREAT?!"

"...I think we need to be a bit more considerate to Lucy's place..." Gray admitted.

Lumpy closes the door and gets to work as Petunia runs back and forth, hyperventilating. Lumpy reaches into his toolkit and pulls out a plunger. It seems to be working at first...Only for the toilet to back up, causing a geyser of the green slime to erupt from the toilet.

"Wow, Lumpy sucks at fixing things, who would have guessed?" Gray said sarcastically.

Lumpy, in a panic, slams the toilet lid down, causing the sludge to seep under the doorway, catching Petunia's attention and causing her to scream. She opens the door and lets out a horrified gasp at the state of her bathroom.

Lumpy pulls out the cause of the clog, chuckling nervously. Petunia responds by hyperventilating into her paper bag, causing it to pop from the air pressure.

Needing something else to breathe into, Petunia grabs a rubber glove and begins breathing into that. She begins to calm down...

Only for the glove to end up getting stuck in her throat, causing her to start choking.

"No! Save her, Lumpy!" Happy shouted in a panic.

"Yeah, Lumpy, Happy can't take seeing his girl die!" Natsu exclaimed.

"Shut up, Natsu!" Happy thumped the back of Natsu's head, causing him to laugh.

Lumpy notices Petunia choking and gasps, rushing over to help.

"This can NOT end well." Gray commented.

Lumpy decides to get the glove out of Petunia's mouth by planting the still VERY dirty and grimy plunger over her mouth, attempting to yank it out that way.

The guild hall, once again, collectively grimaced at the sight.

"Oh dear God..." Lucy shuddered as she looked away.

"Disgusting! Repulsive! How could that moose even THINK that would be a good idea?!" Carla shrieked.

"That's nasty." Gajeel said.

Lumpy tried pressing down on her chest since the plunger didn't work. This tactic however, only inflated the glove stuck in her throat.

Gonna start a new note chain so that we don't run out of room.

Lumpy repeatedly tries to grab at the glove as it inflates, only for it to deflate just as he's about to grab it.

"JUST REACH IN AND TAKE IT OUT, YOU STUPID MOOSE!" Happy roared angrily.

Lumpy eventually does just that...Also shoving his entire hand and some of his arm down her throat in the process.

"There's...no hope for this guy." Gray said, shaking his head and facepalming.

Lumpy successfully pulls the glove out, holding it up with a triumphant "Ah-ha!"

Petunia takes in repeated gasps for air, then sits up and remembers what just happened as she looks at the filthy glove and the grimy plunger. Her scream is loud enough to cause the entire house to shake.

"I'd scream like that too if that happened to me." Lucy said, shaking her head.

Petunia, tears in her eyes, is now brushing her teeth so hard that she's bleeding from it.

Happy wanted to hug her. But unfortunately, she wasn't real, and that made him very sad.

Petunia finishes cleaning her bathroom, and it is now sparkling clean.

"Yes! You overcame yet another obstacle! Well done!" Erza yelled, tears of joy in her eyes. She found herself growing increasingly attached to these creatures with each passing episode.

Petunia sighs in relief as her bathroom is cleaned, and then she climbs into her shower once again, shuddering from her traumatic endeavour. She puts some mouthwash in her mouth, swishes it about and spits it out. Then she begins to chug the whole thing down.

"If she doesn't die from some kind of overly gory accident, she's gonna die from poisoning." Gray commented, rolling his eyes at the stupid move.

Down in the basement, Lumpy is working on fixing the pipes. He picks up one of his tools and inserts it inside the unscrewed pipe.

Disco Bear is bathing in his house, causing everyone to groan.

"First we see him in a speedo, now we see him bathing?!" Natsu exclaimed.

Suddenly, the drill of Lumpy's tool bursts through the water of Disco Bear's tub, causing him to yell in confusion. The drill goes back down, and he looks around cautiously...

And then the drill comes out of the water once more and imbeds itself into his eye, causing him to let out a scream of agony.

Lumpy is pulling tightly on his tool, and when he pulls it out of the pipe, he pulls out not just Disco Bear's eye, but also several of his vital organs.

"There's the gory death!" Jet shouted.

"I don't wanna take baths anymore!" Wendy exclaimed, now afraid of her own shower.

"Wendy, I will NOT allow that!" Carla said sternly. "Cleanliness is important!" Wendy grabbed Carla and began to shake her back and forth.

"I DON'T CARE! I'M NOT GONNA END UP LIKE DISCO BEAR!"

"Oh, honestly..." Carla said when she got out of Wendy's grasp. "You've been spending far too much time with Natsu."

"Hey!" Natsu protested.

The pipe begins shaking as Lumpy takes a quick peek and water comes flowing out, pushing Lumpy to the water heater. Lumpy sees his tool pierced the water heater and yanks it out.

"Bad move, Lumphead..." Gray said with a facepalm.

Lumpy screams in agony as boiling bot steam pours of out the water heater, all over him. Then it falls on top of him, crushing him under its weight.

Lumpy's muffled screams of agony are heard as he is crushed by the massive hot water tank and covered in scalding hot water at the same time.

"Ooooogh...That's gotta be a nasty way to go." Gray said with a grimace.

Back in her bathroom, Petunia is still showering, when suddenly the water turns off, much to her confusion. Annoyed, she decides to go downstairs to see what Lumpy is doing. She calls down the stairs, gets no reply, and then goes down herself.

The basement is dark, and she has to turn on a light in order to see her surroundings. She screams when she finds herself standing in filthy, grimy water.

And then Lumpy's corpse floats by.

Lumpy's skin is covered in massive, red blisters caused from intense heat. His antlers are completely missing from his head. His eyes are wide and bloodshot, staring blankly up at the ceiling. And all of the skin has been burned off of his nose, revealing raw, red flesh.

"Wow...That might actually be more disturbing than the Sniffles house." Gajeel said. Everyone else nodded dumbly, stunned by the image.

Petunia screamed in horror. Then, upon seeing Lumpy's corpse float by. Petunia loses her balance and falls in the muck. She comes out covered in gunk and runs upstairs, screaming in fear.

"I get the feeling she's screaming more at the fact that she's dirty than the dead body floating around in her basement." Laxus deadpanned.

Petunia runs upstairs and frantically shakes her showerhead in a desperate attempt to get it to turn on, but it just won't work. So she runs to the sink and tries to use that, but it's spewing the same green sludge from down in the basement.

Now in complete hysterics, she runs into her kitchen and tries to spray herself with the nozzle.

"Your plumbing's ruined, that's obviously not gonna work!" Gray exclaimed, throwing his arms up.

Indeed, the nozzle is spraying the same sludge. Out of desperation, she begins rummaging through her drawers. She picks out a brush and starts trying to brush the gunk out of her fur.

"You can do it, Petunia!" Erza shouted. "Don't allow this unsightly green sludge to beat you!"

The brush isn't doing anything, however, and, with a growl of anger and frustration, Petunia throws it away.

Happy was beginning to grow scared for his fictional crush...

Petunia pulls out some steel wool and begins using that to scrub her body roughly, but all she does is make her dirty fur all bloody.

Finally, Petunia pulls out a potato peeler, and she begins to laugh madly. She holds her arm over the sink, holds the peeler up to her arm...

And then, she peels a MASSIVE layer of skin off of her arm.

"OH GOD, SHE'S THAT OBSESSED WITH BEING CLEAN?!" Mira shrieked.

"No! Petunia!" Happy called out to his fictional crush.

"HAPPY, SHIELD YOUR EYES!" Natsu covered Happy's eyes, but the cat managed to peek through and see the rest of the scene.

"My God...I was aware that conditions like this could be bad, but never this bad..." Makarov said, stunned by the sheer brutality.

Petunia continues laughing as she peels off layers upon layers of skin off her body, filling the sink with her stripped skin layers.

By the time she is finished, only the top of her head has any skin on it. The rest of her head has been sliced down to the flesh, and her body and arms have been stripped down to the bone.

She continues to laugh, before she finally bleeds out and falls to the floor, dead.

The guild was stunned silent at seeing Petunia completely fall to depravity. The skunk had truly lost her mind.

"I...I..." Happy struggled to speak, tearing up.

"It's okay, Happy. Let it out, Little buddy." Natsu hugged Happy as he burst into tears.

How did something like that happen?! It was a potato peeler! Potato peelers don't do that, they peel potatoes, not people or animals! Waaaahaaahaaahaaaaaaaa!"

"Carla, come get your man!" Natsu called out to the white cat, who rolled her eyes and sighed.

"Oh, all right, all right..." The white exceed flew out of Wendy's grasp and awkwardly pulled Happy into an embrace. "There, there." She said, almost flatly, as she patted the flying Happy's back.

"She...[sob] had so much to live for!"

"Yes, yes, of course she did..."

"It's not faaaaaaair!"

Carla just sighed in exasperation.

A fourth episode starts up. This one is called 'Don't Yank My Chain', and it stars a beaver named Handy, who, ironically, does not have any hands. It also stars a mole named...Mole, who appears to be blind, as he is feeling around with a walking stick. Lumpy is also another starring character.

"Wow, Lumpy's sure showing up a lot." Gray commented.

"I hate Lumpy! He got Petunia killed!" Happy said angrily.

"Now now there." Carla said half-heartedly.

"Well, to be fair, I agree with him. Lumpy's too stupid for my tastes." Gray commented.

The episode also features Lifty, Shifty, Pop and Cub.

The episode starts with Handy and Mole driving a car down the street, Mole reading a map as Handy drives.

"You have the blind guy in charge of the map and the guy without hands in charge of driving." Gray said flatly. "Lumpy isn't the only stupid one."

They are running out of fuel, so they stop at a gas station to replenish their supply, getting out of the car to fill their gas tank, not noticing Lifty and Shifty are hiding in the bushes.

"Oh great, it's THOSE punks again..." Natsu grumbled.

"If they steal the car, I will strike them down where they stand!" Erza exclaimed, pulling out her sword.

And sure enough, that's exactly what Lifty and Shifty do.

The two thieves didn't get very far as Lumpy the state trooper stopped them.

"Oh God, Lumpy's the state trooper? They're not getting their car back...EVER." Gray said, rolling his eyes.

The brothers began to panic at the thought of being arrested, but they quickly come up with a plan upon gazing at Handy's and Moles luggage.

Lumpy demands to see their license and registration, which they gladly hand over. Lumpy sees the licenses have pictures of Handy and Mole on it, then he lowers the card to see Lifty and Shifty wearing the duo's clothes. Lumpy then looks into the backseat to see the open suitcases.

Handy and Mole arrive at that exact moment, Handy babbling frantically to Lumpy. Lumpy looks back and forth between Handy and Mole, Lifty and Shifty and the licenses.

"Come on, Lumpy, you can't be THAT stupid!" Lucy exclaimed.

The scene then cuts to a battered and bruised Handy and Mole, in the process of being locked up in a prison cell.

"That pathetic, foolish moose..." Erza said, slapping her palm against her face.

Handy angrily yells at Lumpy as he walks away. Then Handy sees the keys to the cell and tries to grab them unsuccessfully, only to find that the cell door is unlocked.

"Why did they let this guy have his job if he can't even remember to lock the door to the cells?!" Lucy exclaimed, throwing her arms up.

"If I ever meet Lumpy, I'm gonna punch him in that big nose of his!" Happy exclaimed angrily, beating his paws together.

Handy and Mole attempt to run out of the cell, only to be pulled back by something, dragging them back into the cell. The thing that pulled them back is an iron ball, that has them chained together.

"Okay, what did they even DO to deserve this kind of treatment?!" Levy exclaimed. "All they did was supposedly claim a car is theirs, that's not worth this level of prison!"

"Well, this WAS the stupid guy's idea." Cana replied with a shrug.

The scene briefly cuts to Lifty and Shifty driving Handy and Mole's stolen car, letting out their signature cackle.

"You two are the worst!" Lucy shouted at the two thieves.

Lumpy goes to Handy and Mole's cell to check on them, only to find them gone. He runs to inform the staff of the breakout through a speakerphone, as Handy and Mole are fleeing from the prison, Mole carrying the iron ball.

They stop to take a breath, Mole putting the ball down...But they are standing at the edge of a cliff. The iron ball rolls over the edge, dragging Mole, and by extension Handy, down along with it.

Handy and Mole bounce down the sharp, jagged hill, drawing blood with every bounce, Mole losing a piece of his sweater as they fall down the hill.

The group collectively cringed at the two animals' misfortune, mainly due to the sheer pointiness of the hill.

The duo land at a tree stump where a sledgehammer and a spike sit. While Handy holds the spike in his teeth above the chain, The Mole raises the sledgehammer above his head.

"On one hand...It's technically a dumb idea to hold that thing in your teeth while a blind guy uses a huge hammer...On the other hand, they don't really have much of a choice..." Gray said.

The Mole ends up tripping, however, and he falls down a nearby well, dragging Handy in along with him.

Back at the top of the cliff, Lumpy tracks and The Mole using bloodhound. The bloodhound gets their scent and takes off the cliff, dragging Lumpy down with him.

"And that is why dogs are not man's best friend." Happy nodded sagely.

A yellow rabbit approaches the well with a bucket in hand, humming as he turns the crank. However, when he sees Handy get dragged up, he screams in a panic and lets go of the crank, causing Handy to fall down the well a second time as the rabbit runs away.

"Wow. Deja vu." Gajeel said, sweatdropping at the scene.

The bloodhound finds the piece of The Mole's turtleneck on the branch that it ripped off, and instead of letting the dog sniff it, Lumpy grabs it and uses it to blow his nose, then he confiscates the piece, and then congratulate the dog.

"That fool! Does he not understand that he has contaminated the evidence?!" Erza roared in disbelief.

Handy and The Mole finally make it out of the well and run away as they hear the bloodhound howling in the distance. Cuddles comes back to the well and calls out to whoever may be inside. He almost falls in, however, and clutches to the side of the well for dear life.

"NOT THE BUNNY!" Wendy exclaimed.

The bloodhound approaches the well and looks in. Lumpy, not even looking into the well, drops and breaks the bucket on Cuddles' head.

"I REALLY hate Lumpy in this one..." Happy grumbled, still bitter about Petunia's fate.

Cuddles begins falling and when he reaches the end of the rope, he is decapitated forcefully and his head and spine remain in the bucket.

Lumpy pulls the bucket back up to find Cuddles head floating in a pool of blood. He then throws it back down the well in disgust.

"The dead should never be disrespected in such a manner! You're a disgrace to law enforcement everywhere, Lumpy, and your badge must be stripped from you immediately!" Erza exclaimed angrily.

Handy and The Mole continue running, until they came upon a rowboat docked in a river. They begin rowing away just as Lumpy approaches, shouting after them. Handy finds a hacksaw in a toolbox on the boat, but as The Mole tries to cut the chain, he accidentally cuts the boat in half.

"Of course that would happen..." Lucy said, shaking her head.

"Nothing can ever go right for these creatures, can it?" Mirajane said with a sad smile.

The two almost drown from being pulled down by the ball, but they manage to pull themselves up on a log floating in the river.

"Phew...I didn't wanna see anyone else drown..." Wendy said, relieved.

Handy thinks that all is well, until he looks over and sees they are headed for a sawmill.

"Ooooh...That's a nasty looking saw..." Levy grimaced.

"Get outta there, you guys!" Natsu exclaimed. "Don't get sawed up!"

They attempt running away, but a bunched up group of logs blocks their path.

"They're dead." Gray said impassively, just used to the level of violence by this point.

Handy tells The Mole to get in the water and leave the ball on the log so when the log goes up the ramp to the saw, the ball will be cut in half.

"Smart idea...But it won't actually work. Not with their luck." Levy said, shaking her head.

Unfortunately, the ball falls in the water, dragging The Mole down. He is sent straight into the buzzsaw, where his head is violently sawed in half, blood splattering everywhere as he silently flails around.

"AAAAAHH, I WANNA SEE DROWNING, I WANNA SEE DROWNING, I WANNA SEE DROWNING!" Wendy exclaimed, covering her eyes.

Handy takes a moment to mourn the Mole's death, then tries to walk away. However, things are incredibly difficult now, as Handy must pull the ball as well as The Mole's body, without any hands to aid in the process. This leads to his leg being worn away by the shackle around his ankle.

"There's no way he's gonna make it at this rate..." Levy said, pitying Handy's plight.

He sees that he's next to a set of railroad tracks and upon hearing a train approaching, he gets an idea. He lays the ball and The Mole's body on one side of the tracks, while lying himself on the other side of the tracks, with the chains running over the middle.

"Does he really think that's gonna work?" Cana asked, knowing Handy was gonna die hard.

"Realistically, it WOULD work." Levy replied. "A simple chain would never be able to withstand the speed, force and weight of a train. But in this scenario..."

Indeed, the chain is instead dragged along by the train, causing Handy and the Mole's body to get dragged along the ground violently.

"Oooogh...I'm getting dizzy just watching..." Natsu groaned, putting a hand to his head.

Handy screams in pain as he is dragged across the ground, leaving a trail of blood in his wake.

"Ugh...Damn trains..." Gajeel groaned, looking away.

Inside the train, Cub laughs cutely as he looks out the window to see Handy. Handy continues screaming, but Cub, being an infant, does not process what is going on and simply waves to Handy happily.

"The innocence of children..." Erza said softly. "A wonderful thing, but in this scenario, it will cost someone their life..."

Handy's back is then scraped against the wheels of the train, stripping away the skin on his back to reveal raw red flesh.

The Dragonslayers imagined themselves in this scenario, and struggled with all their might to hold back bile.

"You see?! That's why I hate trains!" Natsu said, pointing at the screen.

Handy tries in vain to reach for the chains with his nubs, but looks up to see the approaching tunnel. He lets out a pitiful whimper...And as the tunnel grows closer, he lets out a blood curdling scream that echoes eerily throughout the tunnel as he is crushed against the wall of the tunnel.

The guild remains silent for a short time, cringing collectively at the echoing sound of Handy's last scream.

"Okay...That scream's gonna be in my dreams tonight..." Lucy said with a light shudder.

"Poor Handy..." Mira said, bowing her head.

At the other side of the tunnel, Cub waves goodbye to Handy, and when he turns around, it is revealed that Handy's severed eyes have landed on Cub's face, which as a pair of googly eyes/gag glasses. The sight of this is enough to horrify Pop.

"No child, under any circumstances, should have body parts stuck to them!" Makarov exclaimed.

Meanwhile, down a road, Lifty and Shifty laugh at their victory for stealing Handy's car, that's until they realize the car runs out of gas. As the two brothers argue about this situation, they're completely unaware that the car stopped on the railroad tracks, where upon the crossing guards come down.

"All right! Here comes the karma train!" Gray said with a grin, ready to see the two crooks get what they deserve.

Hearing the bells ringing and the train approaching, the brothers let out an utter "uh-oh" just before the speeding train rams into the car, obliterating the vehicle and killing the two raccoons.

"...Awesome." Gray said with a smirk.

Back at the tunnel, Handy and The Mole's ball weight comes bouncing out along the tracks and bounces down a cliff. Lumpy stands below, still looking for the fugitives. Suddenly, the ball lands on Lumpy's head, which smashes his skull.

"I'm amazed there was anything in his head to crush." Laxus said, rolling his eyes.

"Ha! Take THAT, Lumpy, you big jerk!"

And then, the fifth and final episode begins. It stars Lifty and Shifty, and it is called 'Easy For You to Sleigh'.

"Oh great, these guys again..." Gray grumbled, rolling his eyes. It once again features Pop and Cub, but it also features a purple deer named Mime, who is dressed like...well, a mime, and a green bear in camo named Flippy.

It is Christmas Eve, and Pop is cooking up a meal while singing "Deck the Halls".

"Aww, they're celebrating the holidays, that's cute." Mira said with a smile.

He checks the turkey to see if it is done, but smoke pours out of the oven and sets off the fire alarm.

"Reminds me of the time Natsu tried to cook." Gray commented.

"Hey, shut it, ice for brains! My cooking wasn't that bad!"

"It was literally ashes." Happy added his two cents.

"Quiet, you!"

Pop, wanting to protect Cub's hearing, gets the ladder and tries to turn the alarm off. He ends up breaking it and removing the batteries to stop the noise.

"Something tells me that's gonna come back to bite him." Gray said calmly.

Outside, Lifty and Shifty (the former wearing a Santa hat) plan to ransack Pop's house by going down the chimney with a sack.

"Have you no shame, you miscreants?! Stealing from others during the holidays! Absolutely shameful!" Erza ranted.

They come out of the fireplace and are about to steal Pop's possessions when suddenly, they see a Christmas tree with ornaments and a star on top, Lifty's eyes glimmering at the sight.

"What's the point of taking a cheap decoration?" Gray asked, annoyed. "It looks shiny, but I doubt it's worth anything."

They decide to steal the tree instead, but it is too big to fit through the chimney. They try to pull it through, but eventually decide it's not worth the effort and walk away, leaving the tree in the chimney.

"Wow, most pointless heist ever." Lucy said.

"They could at least take the star, it's sitting right there!" Natsu exclaimed, annoyed at the lack of common sense, ironically enough.

Pop sets a fire in the fireplace.

"What, he didn't even notice that that huge tree in his living room is gone now?" Gray commented. "Pretty absentminded, isn't he?"

"Wait a minute..." Levy commented. "He just started a fire, and the chimney is blocked by the tree...That means the smoke's gonna go into the house..."

"And that smoke detector is dead..." Natsu added.

"Not the baby and his daddy!" Wendy exclaimed.

As Pop begins reading, smoke begins flowing out of the chimney and filling up the room. Because the fire alarm is broken, Pop and Cub do not realize this. They start to become weak and tired, and eventually, the two of them succumb to carbon monoxide poisoning, falling limp on the spot.

"No...They were so happy...They were celebrating...It's not fair that they had to die..." Wendy sobbed.

"It is indeed tragic...But let's be thankful that they were spared a far more gruesome fate." Erza said gently, patting Wendy on the head.

"Yeah, there's worse ways to go than peacefully in your own home with your family." Gray agreed.

Lifty and Shifty next set their sights on Mime's tent, only to find it empty. They both watch Mime pantomiming washing his face, frying an egg, and putting a bag of money inside a safe before leaving the room.

"Wow...This guy has NOTHING. That's kinda sad, actually..." Lucy commented.

They shrug their shoulders and enter the tent, pretending to steal the imaginary safe and put it in the bag.

"Just...why?" Gray asked.

"HOW DARE YOU TWO CRIMINALS STEAL FROM THAT POOR INNOCENT CLOWN?! RETURN HIS SAFE AT ONCE, SCUM!" Erza boomed.

"Erza, they literally stole nothing." Mirajane said with a sweatdrop.

"And for that, they MUST be punished!" Erza argued.

When they leave the tent, they are disappointed by how little they have accomplished. Next, they see Flippy's house, which they enter through the chimney. Inside, Lifty and Shifty see numerous rare antiques and a huge plasma screen TV in the den, where Flippy sleeps in his armchair with a plate of cookies on his lap.

"Awwww, that little bear is just the CUTEST!" Lucy gushed. "Look at him, sleeping in his widdle army outfit, his voice is soooo cute!"

"Hmm. Seems you have a particular fondness for this bear, Lucy." Erza commented with a smile.

"He's the cutest!"

They tell each other to be quiet before going about their task, but they end up knocking over a picture frame.

And Flippy doesn't wake up.

Then they end up breaking a vase.

Flippy doesn't wake up.

Finally, they accidentally turn on the TV, causing the sound of a bugle horn to sound out loudly.

Flippy doesn't wake up.

"He's an even heavier sleeper than Natsu!"

"Okay, why is it always ME?! Why hasn't anyone else been compared to these things, huh?!"

Since Flippy is such a heavy sleeper, Lifty and Shifty decide to steal everything in his house. The two raccoons remove every single decoration, piece of furniture, everything from Flippy's house, and to make sure he doesn't interfere should he wake up, they tie him to a cinder block.

"Tch...Those punks got lucky is all." Gajeel said in annoyance at the two raccoons.

Getting greedy, the two brothers decide to steal the cookies from Flippy's plate, and end up dropping crumbs on the floor. And THAT is what wakes Flippy up.

Flippy lets out a confused grunt, then notices he's tied up and lets out a frightened yelp as he has a flashback to himself tied up in the midst of a war.

"Oh goodness...It looks like our friend Flippy has quite the history." Makarov said gravely.

"That's horrible!" Lucy exclaimed. "Cuties like him shouldn't have to fight in wars!"

And then, Flippy changes. His eyes change from emerald green to golden yellow, his teeth go from rounded and buck to sharp and pointy, and his voice goes from high pitched and cutesy to a low, angry growl.

"It would seem that the trauma he suffered throughout the war has effected his mind." Erza said grimly.

"I guess he never got any kind of therapy after all the fighting stopped." Mira said softly.

"What, so he's just gonna go crazy and start killing people?!" Lucy exclaimed.

With a roar of anger, Flippy effortlessly breaks free from the ropes.

"Well, they bit off more than they could chew on this one." Cana said before sipping her drink once more.

Lifty and Shifty try to escape through the door, but Fliqpy locks them in, forcing them to run in the other direction.

"I can't look!" Wendy covered her eyes.

While running, Shifty sees candy canes that look like stakes flying towards him.

"Wait, he managed to make candy canes THAT sharp in that short amount of time?" Gray asked, raising a brow.

He ducks, while an oblivious Lifty is impaled in the torso.

"And they're REALLY effective, too!" Lucy exclaimed.

"If you told me yesterday I would be watching someone get bloodily stabbed by candy, I'd have pitied you." Gray said.

"Well, to be fair, it seems that basically anything will hurt these characters in some way." Makarov said.

Shifty keeps running until he sees a fancy candle holder in a bear trap.

"Oh boy, he's gonna go for the candle holder..." Gray facepalmed.

Shifty carries a bag of sand and attempts to match the weight of the bag with the candle holder's. He successfully switches the items around and runs for it.

"Well that was actually kind of smart." Levy said.

And then Shifty comes back to grab his sandbag, getting his arm torn off by the beartrap in the process.

"Too soon..." Levy said with a facepalm.

"How does he even make it as a thief if he's that dumb?" Gajeel questioned.

Meanwhile, Lifty begins licking the candy canes in an effort to escape.

"Is it wrong that I want a candy cane now?" Happy asked.

"Yeah, it's pretty wrong." Natsu replied.

Shifty continues running and narrowly avoids stepping in a snare trap made with Christmas lights.

"Flippy certainly is resourceful..." Mira said.

"Even if he is a savage." Lucy agreed.

He then turns to see Fliqpy, who crushes a glass Christmas ornament in his hand and blows the dust into Shifty's eyes. Shifty is blinded, the glass ornament's remains causing his eyes to bleed heavily.

"Oooh...All that glass..." Lucy shuddered.

"Like I said, very resourceful." Mira restated her point.

Shifty stumbles back into the snare trap, and is then held upside down by the ankle.

Flippy, grinning sadistically, approaches before jamming a tree shaped sugar cookie into Shifty's groin area and using it to carve into his body from the bottom up.

All the men watching immediately covered their groin areas, cringing collectively at the brutal display.

"Ow!" Happy said. "Ooh, I can feel that..."

"Even I feel sorry for him!" Gray said.

Lifty, meanwhile, finally licks through the candy canes and falls out of the trap.

"Run. Freaking RUN." Natsu urged the surviving raccoon.

He looks up to see a shadowy figure that looks like Shifty standing on a stack of boxes and pointing to an exit out a window.

"Wait, he can't still be alive!" Lucy exclaimed. "Not after he got cut open like that!"

Lifty climbs up the pile and jumps out the window...And it is revealed that 'Shifty' is actually Flippy wearing Shifty's skin.

"He's completely lost his mind!" Wendy shrieked in fear.

"Hunters kill and skin the animals they catch...Flippy is the hunter, and Lifty and Shifty are the prey..." Makarov said grimly.

"Yes, I'm sure Flippy has a trap ready to put an end to Shifty." Erza said, shaking her head.

And Erza was correct, as Lifty was tricked into jumping into a baler, brutally shredding his body apart.

Flippy drives the baler away and Lifty's carcass comes out of the machine in the shape of a Christmas present under a tree. Lights on the tree begin blinking, resembling a Christmas tree.

"Starting to have bad thoughts about the holidays now..." Lucy shuddered.

"Please tell me it's over!" Wendy said, not wanting to see any more gory death.

Meanwhile, back in Mime's tent, Mime comes back and is horrified to find his imaginary safe missing.

"He...actually knew it was taken..." Gray said, shaking his head.

And finally, it was over.

"Well...That was...interesting." Mira said.

"I HATED IT!" Wendy exclaimed. "Why?! Why do people enjoy that?! It's not funny! They all DIED! HORRIBLY! Death is not a joke!"

"It had some funny moments..." Lucy admitted.

"Yeah, I'd check out a few more episodes if they get sent to us." Natsu said.

"Didn't hate it." Gray shrugged.

"I hope one day to see an episode where the Happy Tree Friends overcome their troublesome bad luck." Erza said.

"It was worth it just for Petunia." Happy said with a smile. Carla couldn't help but smile slightly at Happy's infatuation with a fake skunk. He was certainly a strange one.

The other guild members gave their thoughts on the show. It seemed Wendy was the only one who truly hated it. Everyone else was rather dismissive about it.

"Well, I certainly look forward to seeing what else our fan may send us!" Makarov said. "Now, you can all go back to your own business! Dismissed!"

And so, the guild returned to their daily brawl.


End file.
